June 18, 2004
Smackdown: New tag, cruiser champs crowned
By DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling
With the Great American Bash only ten days away, the question on everyone's mind is, can this PPV be any worse than Bad Blood? Well at least that's the question on my mind. Smackdown! stops in Chicago.
Match #1 - The Dudley Boyz vs. Rico and Charlie Haas w/ Miss Jackie - WWE Tag Team Championship
No messing around tonight as this championship match kicks off the show. D-von and Haas feel each other out to start the match. Bubba Ray low bridges Haas and then bashes his head off the announce table. Bubba tags in and the brothers tag team Haas in the corner. Haas is double teamed again as D-von tags in. Rico gets the hot tag after Haas hits a suplex. Rico cleans house, hitting D-von with a neck breaker and the taking down Bubba with a spear. Rico makes a pin, but a distracted ref doesn?t make the count. Bubba recovers, but Rico fights out of the double team. Bubba hits a suplex on Rico, and then tries to pull Miss Jackie into the ring. Trying to hit Bubba Haas mistakenly knocks Miss Jackie off the apron. While Haas goes to check Miss Jackie, Rico is pinned in the corner as Bubba uses the ropes for leverage.
Winner via pinfall and new WWE tag team champions: The Dudley Boyz
We are graced with Paul Heyman's presence. Heyman informs the crowd that Paul Bearer is in protective custody, and then last week's footage of the Undertaker bowing to Paul Heyman. Heyman says he controls the Undertaker's conscience, Paul Bearer. And he is willing to exploit that. At the G-A-B the Undertaker will face the new tag team champs. Heyman also says 'Taker will do the right thing because Paul Bearer will be held in a glass crypt at ringside. If the Undertaker doesn't do the right thing, the crypt will be filled with cement. The buy rates are going through something on this one, and it ain't the roof. As RAW reporter Nick Tylwalk just said, "Go ahead and entomb him, see what I care."
Here comes the WWE Champion, Eddie Guerrero. Riding in style as usual. Eddie hits the ring and says he was watching CNBC all weekend and didn't see Bradshaw once. Eddie says he heard a rumor that Bradshaw got fired. But Bradshaw didn't have a terrible week, at least he had once heck of a limo ride. A recap of last week's events is shown. He then calls out Bradshaw, but instead the Bashams answer the call. The tell Eddie they have unfinished business.
Match #2 - Eddie Guerrero vs. Doug Basham
Doug hits the ring right away, and the match starts with out a ref. One of the boys in blue hit the ring and the match is underway. Eddie tries for the triple verts early, but Danny distracts the ref. Eddie stops, and then Doug pushes Eddie into the ref. With the ref down, Doug and Danny double-team Eddie. The champion kicks out of a pin-fall at two, and then powers out of a sleeper hold. Eddie the hits the '3 Amigos', and then brings Danny into the ring the hard way. Guerrero hits the leg scissors-arm drag. Danny flies from the ring, and with Doug down, Eddie is feeling froggy. Guerrero hits the frog splash, and pins Doug. Danny tries to jump Eddie, but a low blow stops Basham in his place. Eddie then nails another frog splash on Danny.
Winner via pinfall : Eddie Guerrero
John Cena visits Angle in the GM's office. Angle informs the Fatal-Fourway for the U.S. Title at the G-A-B will be elimination. Cena now knows why Angle is hating on his game. He tells Angle that deep down Kurt wants to be him. Cena gives Anlge a hat, and Angle doesn't seem happy about it.
Funaki, dressed like John Cena, engages in a battle rap with Josh Matthews. Funaki takes a lyrical shot at Angle, not knowing that the GM is standing right behind him. Angle orders Funaki to get ready for a match with Luthor Raines.
Match #3 - Kenzo Suzuki vs. Spike Dudley
Who does this guy think he is? Being carried to the ring! Hey, WWE, this ain't 1984 -- get with the times. Hold on, I smell a squash. Yep. I was right. Suzuki finishes Spike off with a leg sweep, while clutching Spike?s face, driving Spike's head into the mat.
Winner via pin fall: Kenzo Suzuki
John Bradshaw Layfield heads to the ring. (Read the real story here about JBL's firing.) JBL says CNBC fired him because they found out he was a wrestler. Um, no, you got fired because you did something illegal and insensitive in Germany. JBL also says that the media is what is wrong with America, that Americans are what's wrong with America. Apparently, we are all jealous of him. JBL says despite what we do to him, he will be successful. Bradshaw's heel promo is pretty confusing, and not getting much heat. Will someone cue the house orchestra and play this guy off the stage? Eddie Guerrero has heard enough and hits the ring. JBL hightails out of the ring.
Match #4 - Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Classic w/ Chavo Junior - WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Classic takes down Mysterio early. Classic goes to the top rope and connects with a moonsault. Mysterio in tossed over the top rope, but lands on the apron. He hits a seated senton on Classic, and then hits the 619. Mysterio drops the dime, and covers for the pin.
Winner via pin fall and new Cruiserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio
Another Mordecai promo. The entire locker room will feel his wrath. He's gunning for Eddie Guerrero, now. Oh, goody.
Match #5 - Funkai vs. Luthor Raines
Raines takes down Funaki with a clotheline, and Funaki never had a chance. Raines destroys Funaki as Angle watches from the ramp.
Winner via pin fall: Luthor Raines
Raines grabs the sticks and tells everyone that this is what happens when you disrespect Kurt Angle. Angle then tells Luthor to go back and finish off Funaki.
Torrie Wilson comes out to promote the Great America Bash. I guess the Divas are going to cook out for us.
Josh Matthews interviews Booker T. Booker is mad that the title match isn't one on one. Book thinks judges were unfair in last week's match. Dupree interrupts and tells Booker he better have his back tonight.
Match #6 - Booker T and Renee Dupree vs. RVD and John Cena
Cena goes after Dupree right away. Dupree leap frogs Cena, but Cena stops, and lays out Dupree. RVD tags in and hits rolling thunder. Booker and Dupree argue on the outside, and are taken out. Back in the ring, RVD hits Dupree with a spin kick, but then is hit with a cheap shot from Booker. Booker T tags in and hits an elbow on RVD. Dupree comes back in and drops a forearm on RVD. Cena breaks the pin. Cena then gets the hot tag, and hits Dupree with a back body drop. RVD jumps in and clears Booker from the ring, and then Cena tosses Dupree. The faces then turn on each other. Dupree and Booker take advantage, and beat down Cena and RVD. Then the lights go out. The Undertaker appears in the ring, and it's chokeslams for everyone. RVD gets beat down in the corner before his chokeslam, and then Cena gets tombstoned. Paul Heyman with the urn comes out and stares down the Undertaker to end the show.
Dale Plummer has been writing for SLAM!
Wrestling since 2003.