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Smackdown: Chair shots for everyone
By
DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling
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On a night that featured the end of one of the
most popular sitcoms of all time in 'Friends', and
'Survivor: All-Stars' closing in on their finale, the
WWE had to hit one out of the park to compete on this
Thursday night. Instead they hit a weak dribbler back
to the pitcher, stinking up the joint worse then the
Montreal Expos.
Tonight's show from Tucson, Arizona featured
Booker T visiting a voodoo shop and graveyard, a woman
winning the cruiserweight title, and Smackdown! Diva's
wrestling each other, which is not a good thing, and
the exploitation of Eddie Guerrero's mother's
'heart-attack'.
The show kicks off with Michael Cole in the ring
to address the situation with Mrs. Guerrero. If you
missed RAW on Monday Jim Ross informed us of an
incident at a Smackdown! house show in El Paso.
Eddie's family joined him in the ring to celebrate.
Bradshaw hit the ring, and during the incident Eddie's
mom had a heart attack. We see the footage of the
event, and I didn't now the WWE provided house shows
with television crews. I'm beginning to think this
heart attack is a work.
Match #1 - John Cena vs. Doug Basham
Cena starts off by insinuating that Doug and Danny
share more then 'brotherly love' together. Cena starts
things off by whipping Doug into the turnbuckle. Cena
counters a DDT by hanging onto the ropes. Danny jumps
on the apron, and nails Cena with a cheap shot. Doug
then hits a snap mare and follows it up with a leg
drop. Both men trade sleeper holds, with Cena finally
reversing it with a side slam. Cena hits a high elbow
and follows with a clothesline. A sidewalk slam sets
up the five-knuckle shuffle. Danny tries to interfere,
but Cena cuts him off at the apron. Cena pumps up his
shoes, and puts Doug down with an F-U, and gets the
pin.
Winner via pinfall: John Cena
Booker T visits a voodoo store to learn how to
counter the Undertakers mystical powers. She gives him
some items and tells him he must get the soil from an
unmarked grave. And the WWE tells us Chris Benoit is
from Atlanta to appear more realistic.
Match #2 - Chavo Guerrero Jr. with Chavo
Classic vs. 'The World'
Last week Chavo issued a challenge to the world
for his cruiserweight title. Chavo gets on the mike
and who will challenge him. Jacqueline walks out.
Chavo thinks it's a joke and berates Jacqueline until
she slaps him. Chavo doesn't take nicely to that, and
calls for the match to start. Chavo starts out with an
arm bar followed into an armbar. Jackie is whipped
into the corner, but Chavo misses the splash. Jackie
hits a head scissors and follows up with a drop kick.
Chavo nails a back suplex. Chavo Classic distracts the
ref; it backfires and Chavo is hit with a low blow.
Jackie rolls him up and scores the victory and
cruiserweight title.
Winner via pinfall and new cruiserweight
champion: Jacqueline
Johnny Stamboli and Nunzio are waiting in the
ring, when G< Kurt Angle hits the stage. He tells the
crowd that he is deeply disappointed in them. He also
says that he issued a call to the SD! locker room. He
wanted someone to step up to face the Undertaker, no
one did, so the FBI will know face him.
Match #3 - The FBI vs. The Undertaker
I smell a squash. Stamboli gets in a little
offense, with a Nunzio distraction, but he taps
quickly to a submission move new to the 'Taker. After
the match Nunzio attacks 'Taker, and receives the Last
Ride for his efforts. Stamboli then gets tombstoned.
Winner via submission: The Undertaker
Booker T finds his dirt in the graveyard. After he
leave, a hand rises from the grave he just left.
Josh Matthews asks Eddie if he blames himself for
what happened. Guerrero doesn't say a word; he just
looks really mad, as Matthews slinks away.
Match #4 - Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie
Renee Dupree is at ringside for this match. The
only purpose this match serves is to fuel the feud
between Cena and Dupree. Cena makes his way to ring
side halfway through the match. He saves Torrie from
Dupree, but then gets worked over by the French
Phenom. Cena is thrown into the apron, ring post, the
crowd, and is then powerbombed through the announce
table.
During the break, Cena is helped off by
paramedics.
Michael Cole and Tazz interview John Bradshaw
Layfield. He cuts a normal heel promo. This cements in
my mind that this heart attack is a work.
Backstage, Paul Heyman catches up with Kurt Angle.
He talks Angle into taking Eddie Guerrero out of the
tag team match against the Dudleys. Angle calls for
RVD to have a new partner.
Match #5 - RVD and ??? vs. The Dudley Boyz
RVD's partner is Re Mysterio. Shoot, I had my
money on Spike Dudley. This match almost saves the
show. The action really picks up after the commercial
break. Mysterio nails D-von with a sinton, and RVD
follows with a split-legged moonsault. Mysterio tries
to hit a flying body press, but Bubba catches him in
mid-air. D-Von climbs the turnbuckle for a whassup
headbutt, but RVD pushes him off. RVD tries the
5-star, but D-Von rolls away at the last second. RVD
recovers to hit an enzugiri on D-von, who falls into
the ropes. Mysterio hit the 619, and RVD follows with
rolling thunder. Mysterio drops the dime, and RVD
covers for the pin.
Winner via pinfall: RVD and Rey Mysterio
Bubba hits the ring and pounds on the faces with
his brother. Mysterio tastes the 3D and then, Bubba
calls for a chair, but Eddie Guerrero sprints to the
ring before the chairs can be used. Eddie takes on the
Dudleys. Then it's chair shots for everyone. Bubba,
D-Von, Nick Patrick, and even RVD, all takes shots to
the head. Eddie stands in the ring as the show goes
off the air.
Dale Plummer is still a rookie on the SLAM!
Wrestling staff. Dale feels bad for Maple Leaf fans,
but at least your team MADE the playoffs. Dale asks
you to keep that in mind as you mourn.
