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   Fri, April 23, 2004



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Smackdown: Heyman return brings ECW feel
By DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling


Due to my "move" to my new residence in Blue Ball, Pennsylvania, so SLAM! Wrestling can appear more realistic, I didn't have time to submit a full report this week. Tonight, you get the abridged version of Smackdown! Which may not be a bad thing.

Michael Cole and Tazz address Kurt Angle's condition to start the show from somewhere in British Columbia, the WWE graphic didn't give me a town. Don't blame me folks; blame Vince. Anyway, Angle has a broken leg, a grade three concussion and severe internal injuries; needless to say, he'll be out for a while. With no GM, the show gets under way.

Match #1 - RVD vs. Booker T

Booker T wins the return match from last week. RVD is ready to nail the 5-star frogsplash, when some pyro goes off. RVD steps down from the turnbuckle, and Booker T is able to roll up a distracted RVD for the win.

Then most worst fears are wiped out as Paul Heyman walks to the ring. I thought for sure Steph McMahon was coming back. Heyman tells RVD he has disgraced the legacy of ECW. The Dudley Boys, hearing this in the back, take exception to this, and join RVD in the ring. Heyman rips the Dudleys, too. Saying the Vince McMahon has tamed them. D-Von sucker punches RVD to show Heyman how tame they are. Bubba and his brother work over their former friend. Heyman calls it a good start.

Match #2 - Scotty II Hotty and Rikishi vs. Charlie Haas and Rico w/ Miss Jackie

Haas's mystery partner turns out to be Rico, and Haas isn't thrilled. During the match, Rico saves Haas from a stink face, and takes it himself, instead. Haas and Rico pull the upset, when Rico plants a kiss on Scotty, and Haas is able to roll him up. It's been a long time since we've had reluctant Tag Team Champ. I like it.

Bradshaw thanks Heyman for motivating him last month. Heyman asks JBL about getting punked out in the airport by Mexican champ El Gran Luchador. JBL tries to dodge the question, but Heyman makes a match. Heyman also books Eddie Guerrero in a match tonight against, 'The Dudley'.

New talent coming to Smackdown! It's looks like WWE is trying to cash in on The Passion with a religious warrior named Mordecai.

Match #3 - John 'Bradshaw' Layman vs. El Gran Luchador

JBL squashes the Mexican champ with a clothesline from Hell.

It's time for Rene Dupree's new segment Le Cafe de Rene. His first guest is Torrie Wilson. Torrie wants to talk about the new Divas mag, while Renee wants to talk about what she did to Big Show. Tempers flare. Torrie slaps Rene. He tosses a glass of wine in her face. She tries for another slap; he blocks it and goes for a slam. John Cena hits the ring, saving Torrie and sending Dupree scurrying from the ring. Cena then trashed the French cafe set.

Match #4 - John Cena vs. Chavo Guerrero Junior and Senior

Cena loses when Dupree attacks him outside the ring. Cena is tosses back in and Junior finishes him off with a brain buster.

Paul Heyman finds Torrie backstage, and informs her the Dupree will pay for his actions. He will have to wrestle next week, and his opponent will be ... Torrie Wilson!

Time to cash in on all those Passion of the Christ dollars. Mordecai is coming. The religious right is going to love this one.

Booker T runs his mouth in the ring about how big of a star he is. He hightails in out when the lights go out and a purple haze fills the ring. My guess is it's either The Undertaker or he did something to anger Prince.

The new tag team champs are interviewed. Rico is so happy they won; Haas looks like he's going to be sick.

Match #5 - Eddie Guerrero vs. 'The Dudley'

With Paul Heyman at ringside, do you really think Eddie will prevail in this thinly-veiled handicap match? If you think he will, you are DEAD WRONG! D-von rolls up Eddie, and gets the pin with some outside help from Bubba. After the match JBL hits the ring and nails the champ with a power bomb. See ya next week with a full report, I hope.


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  • Perfect to rap with or wrap up:
    WWE John Cena: Word Life DVD

    Dale Plummer is still a rookie on the SLAM! Wrestling staff. Dale hopes rooting for the Maple Leafs and Flames will increase his chances of hooking up with a Sunshine Girl. (Editors note: Don't count on it.)