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Smackdown: Heyman return brings ECW feel
By
DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling
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Due to my "move" to my new residence in Blue Ball,
Pennsylvania, so SLAM! Wrestling can appear more
realistic, I didn't have time to submit a full report
this week. Tonight, you get the abridged version of
Smackdown! Which may not be a bad thing.
Michael Cole and Tazz address Kurt Angle's
condition to start the show from somewhere in British
Columbia, the WWE graphic didn't give me a town. Don't
blame me folks; blame Vince. Anyway, Angle has a
broken leg, a grade three concussion and severe
internal injuries; needless to say, he'll be out for a
while. With no GM, the show gets under way.
Match #1 - RVD vs. Booker T
Booker T wins the return match from last week. RVD
is ready to nail the 5-star frogsplash, when some pyro
goes off. RVD steps down from the turnbuckle, and
Booker T is able to roll up a distracted RVD for the
win.
Then most worst fears are wiped out as Paul Heyman
walks to the ring. I thought for sure Steph McMahon
was coming back. Heyman tells RVD he has disgraced the
legacy of ECW. The Dudley Boys, hearing this in the
back, take exception to this, and join RVD in the ring.
Heyman rips the Dudleys, too. Saying the Vince
McMahon has tamed them. D-Von sucker punches RVD to
show Heyman how tame they are. Bubba and his brother
work over their former friend. Heyman calls it a good
start.
Match #2 - Scotty II Hotty and Rikishi vs.
Charlie Haas and Rico w/ Miss Jackie
Haas's mystery partner turns out to be Rico, and
Haas isn't thrilled. During the match, Rico saves Haas
from a stink face, and takes it himself, instead. Haas
and Rico pull the upset, when Rico plants a kiss on
Scotty, and Haas is able to roll him up. It's been a
long time since we've had reluctant Tag Team Champ. I
like it.
Bradshaw thanks Heyman for motivating him last
month. Heyman asks JBL about getting punked out in the
airport by Mexican champ El Gran Luchador. JBL tries
to dodge the question, but Heyman makes a match.
Heyman also books Eddie Guerrero in a match tonight
against, 'The Dudley'.
New talent coming to Smackdown! It's looks like
WWE is trying to cash in on The Passion with a
religious warrior named Mordecai.
Match #3 - John 'Bradshaw' Layman vs. El Gran
Luchador
JBL squashes the Mexican champ with a clothesline
from Hell.
It's time for Rene Dupree's new segment Le Cafe de
Rene. His first guest is Torrie Wilson. Torrie wants
to talk about the new Divas mag, while Renee wants to
talk about what she did to Big Show. Tempers flare.
Torrie slaps Rene. He tosses a glass of wine in her
face. She tries for another slap; he blocks it and
goes for a slam. John Cena hits the ring, saving
Torrie and sending Dupree scurrying from the ring.
Cena then trashed the French cafe set.
Match #4 - John Cena vs. Chavo Guerrero Junior
and Senior
Cena loses when Dupree attacks him outside the
ring. Cena is tosses back in and Junior finishes him
off with a brain buster.
Paul Heyman finds Torrie backstage, and informs
her the Dupree will pay for his actions. He will have
to wrestle next week, and his opponent will be ...
Torrie Wilson!
Time to cash in on all those Passion of the
Christ dollars. Mordecai is coming. The religious
right is going to love this one.
Booker T runs his mouth in the ring about how big
of a star he is. He hightails in out when the lights
go out and a purple haze fills the ring. My guess is
it's either The Undertaker or he did something to
anger Prince.
The new tag team champs are interviewed. Rico is
so happy they won; Haas looks like he's going to be
sick.
Match #5 - Eddie Guerrero vs. 'The Dudley'
With Paul Heyman at ringside, do you really think
Eddie will prevail in this thinly-veiled handicap
match? If you think he will, you are DEAD WRONG! D-von
rolls up Eddie, and gets the pin with some outside
help from Bubba. After the match JBL hits the ring and
nails the champ with a power bomb. See ya next week
with a full report, I hope.
Visit the SLAM! Wrestling store!
Perfect to rap with or wrap up:
WWE John Cena: Word Life DVD
Dale Plummer is still a rookie on the SLAM!
Wrestling staff. Dale hopes rooting for the Maple
Leafs and Flames will increase his chances of hooking
up with a Sunshine Girl. (Editors note: Don't count on
it.)
