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   Fri, February 27, 2004



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Smackdown: All Angles point to 'Mania
By DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling


We're on the road to Wrestlemania XX, and I swear if you kids ask "Are we there yet?" one more time, I'm going to turn this car around and nobody is going to Wrestlemania!!!! Sorry, childhood flashback. Smackdown! stops in Kansas City, tonight, on their way back across country, as WWE heads towards New York City.

Match #1 - Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble vs. Nunzio vs. Billy Kidman - Sudden Death Fatal 4-way - #1 Contenders match Cruiserweight Title

I could go through this match blow-by-blow, but I'll save you some time, that's why I'm here. First off, in the middle of the match we cut way to Eddie Guerrero storming into Paul Heyman's office. Paul was talking to Tajiri and his crew, when Eddie interrupted. Paul tells the champ to act like one and go on his way. After a commercial break, Rey Mysterio is all ready to wrap up a victory, when Paul Heyman stops the match. He tells us that there is no Japanese representation in the ring. So to avoid a discrimination lawsuit, he is canceling the match. Instead there will be a Cruiserweight open at Wrestlemania, open to all cruiserweights. The winner will take home the gold.

The events of last week's Smackdown! are recapped. Read all about here in Jaya Roopansingh's report from last week.

Match #2 - Scotty II Hotty w/ Rikishi vs. The APA - Non-Title Match

When the champs wrestle in a non-title match, you kind of get the feeling they're going to lose. (Kids, this is called foreshadowing.) Scotty drop kicks Faarooq, and follows up with some dance moves. Faarooq gives him a sarcastic clap, before laying him out with a right hand. Bradshaw tags in and nails Scotty with a suplex. Rikishi makes the bling tag, but Scotty still gets hit with the Last Call. Rikishi takes it to the Texan, fighting his way out of a powerbomb, and then nearly squashing him. Rikishi head butts Bradshaw, who falls into the corner. Faarooq saves his partner from a stink-face, by clotheslining Rikishi from the apron. Scotty jumps in and is taken out with a big boot. Rikishi then hits Faarooq with a Samoan drop. The Bashaams run to ring side, providing enough distraction for Bradshaw to nail Rikishi with the Clothesline from Hell. Bradshaw covers for the win.

Winner via pinfall: The APA

Footage from Monday night Raw airs. Read all about Vince McMahon's big Wrestlemania announcements here in Nick Tylwalk's RAW report. (Dale are you plugging your fellow writers because you're nice or lazy? Well, it's a little from column A and a little from column B.)

Josh Matthews asks Brock Lesnar why he F-5'ed Steve Austin on RAW. Lesnar says he blames Goldberg and Austin for his title loss at Now Way Out.

Eddie Guerrero struts to the ring, much to the delight of the fans. He tells the fans he appreciates every day that he holds the title, and he's going to take it one day at a time, just like his life. He calls out Kurt Angle. Angle doesn't appear, so Eddie leaves the ring to take the fight to Angle. Backstage, Heyman tries to stop the champ, telling him Angle has left. Angle appears in the hallway, and Eddie shoves Heyman out of the way. In the process Dawn Marie is knocked into the wall, and is hurt. Heyman orders security to escort Eddie from the building.

Match #3 - Billy Gunn vs. Brock Lesnar

I feel sorry for Gunn, so much for his push. Lesnar starts off with a belly-to-belly suplex. Gunn is whipped into the corner, but dodges a shoulder charge by Lesnar. Brock catches all ring post. The fight spills to the outside, where Gunn whips Lesnar into the ring post, hitting the injured shoulder. Lesnar is rolled into the ring, but Gunn can't get the pin. Lesnar recovers, hitting a spinebuster. Gunn is then whipped off the ropes, and Lesnar nails a scoop slam. Brock then uses a full body submission hold. Gunn breaks the hold, only to feel the effects of a German suplex. Lesnar employs the submission hold, again. Gunn breaks free, again, and takes down Brock with a series of clotheslines. He follows with a bulldog, but can only get a two count. Gunn then tries to nail Lesnar with a jumping punch, but Lesnar side steps it and Gunn hits the turnbuckle face first. Lesnar picks up a dazed Gunn, and drops him with an F-5. Lesanr coves for the three count.

Winner via pinfall: Brock Lesnar

Sable and Torrie head to the ring to address their counterparts on RAW. Ladies, don't talk, just stand there and do what you do best. Look hot. John Cena interrupts, sporting a Derrick Thomas jersey; he gets a nice crowd reaction, and gives props to the late Chief's linebacker. Cena gets in the ring and has a few words for the Playboy cover girls. I actually tried to scribble Cena's rap as he did it, so here we go.

"I know you girls like to show off. Your gowns look fine, but I like you better with your clothes off. Your mag was hot; I've been through thirty. It gives a whole new meaning to beef jerky."

Match #4 - John Cena and Rey Mysterio vs. Big Show and Chavo Guerrero Jr. w/ Sr.

Eddie is supposed to be Cena's partner, but with him banned from the arena, Rey-Rey decides to step up. Mysterio starts off by making Chavo eat mat. Guerrero immediately tags in Show. Show tosses Rey around the ring, eventually standing on him. Show then clubs Mysterio, until Chavo tags back in. Mysterio is able to fight back Chavo, nailing inverted DDT. Cena makes the hot tag and cleans house. Cena lays out Chavo with a double axe-handle off the top rope. He follows it up with the five-knuckle shuffle. Cena knocks Chavo Sr. off the apron, and picks up Junior for the F-U. Show stops that nonsense with a boot to Cena's face. Show drags his partner to the corner, and tags himself in. Cena jumps on Show's back, and locks in a sleep hold. Show fights off Cena. Rey tags in and knocks Chavo off the apron. He then attacks Show with a flurry of kicks, finishing it off with a seated senton off the ropes. Show powers out of the pin attempt, and Chavo tags in. He hits Rey with the triple vertical suplex, drawing the crowd's ire. Mysterio is able to roll away from a frog splash, though. Show breaks a pinfall, and is attacked by Cena, both men falling to the outside. Cena is whipped into the security barrier, and then tosses Show over. Back in the ring, Rey throws Chavo into the ropes with a head scissors and then nails the 619. Rey pins Chavo for the three count. Chavo Senior jumps Mysterio in the ring, only to get an F-U from Cena. Show hits the ring and chokeslams the winners.

Winner via pin fall: John Cena and Rey Mysterio

Kurt Angle makes his way to the ring. He tells the crowd he attacked Eddie last week for them. It's a moral thing. He doesn't think Eddie is fit to be champ, since he is a recovering addict. Eddie teaches kids to lie, cheat, and steal, and it's only a matter of time until he falls off the wagon. Angle drags on, until Eddie comes through the crowd to shut him up. The two fight up the ramp, until Heyman comes out and has Eddie arrested. Heyman tells Eddie he won't tolerate assault on a woman. Eddie is handcuffed and led away to a waiting squad car, as Angle heckles him the whole way. The show ends with Angle yelling as Eddie is taken away.


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  • Perfect to rap with or wrap up:
    WWE John Cena: Word Life DVD

    Dale Plummer is a rookie on the SLAM! Wrestling staff. Dale will have to go on the Atkins diet if he wishes to compete in the Cruiserweight Open at Wrestlemania XX. I wouldn't bet on him making it.