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Smackdown: New tag champs crowned
By
DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling
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Hard to believe that another Pay-Per-View is right
around the corner. Will tonight's Smackdown! convince
enough people to plop down another $30 after recently
shelling out for a mediocre Royal Rumble? We shall
see as Smackdown! comes to us from the "Mistake on the
Lake", also known as Cleveland, Ohio. (Seriously,
though, I have nothing against the city of Cleveland.
The Indians are my favorite A.L. team, and I always
root for the Browns to beat the Steelers.)
Paul Heyman joins us in the ring at the Gund Arena
to kick off tonight's show. The GM pats himself on the
back for last week's success, turning the defection of
Chris Benoit to RAW into an opportunity. Even though
the main event is set ten days from now at No Way Out,
Heyman says he won't rest. Later tonight, he will
announce who will be the number one contender for the
WWE Title at Wrestlemania XX. Heyman then announces
the next match, which happens to be for the WWE Tag
Team Titles.
Match #1 - Rikishi and Scotty 2 Hotty vs. The
Basham Brothers w/ Shaniqua -- WWE Tag Team Title
match
The champs are attacked from behind as they pose
on the ropes. Scotty dropkicks Doug from the ring, but
Danny is able to recover after Shaniqua gets in a
cheap shot. Scotty is double-teamed and isolated from
his corner by the Bashams. Rikishi breaks up a pin
fall to save the match. After a spinning back suplex,
Scotty is able to recover and tag his partner in.
Rikishi cleans house. The dazed brothers head to the
corner, Rikishi hits a splash on both men. Doug is
tossed from the ring, and Danny is laid out. Scotty
illegally jumps in, and goes for the worm. Shaniqua
grabs his leg and pulls him to the mat. Rikishi pulls
her into the ring, but is attacked by the champs. Doug
nails the big man with a leg drop off the top rope,
but only gets a two count. Rikishi recovers quickly
and nails Doug with a Samoan drop. The power move does
in Doug, and Rikishi scores the pinfall, and the Tag
Team belts.
Winner via pin fall ... and new WWE Tag Team
Champs: Rikishi and Scotty 2 Hotty
Dawn Marie is getting cozy with John Cena in the
locker room. Paul Heyman barges is and is none too
happy. He informs Cena that he is benched tonight.
With the FCC cracking down on indecent behavior on
television, he doesn't want to send John out there
with a live mike; running the risk of something
naughty being uttered. (Note: And yet, Billy 'Mr. Ass'
Gunn still gets to wrestle, the hypocrisy of it all is
mind-boggling.) Heyman does request that Cena stick
around for his announcement later tonight, though.
Match #2 -- Billy Gunn vs. The Big Show -- US
Title Match
Speak of the devil! It's Billy Gunn. I wonder if
the FCC is paying close attention to the lyrics of the
entrance music? Pay close attention sometime, they are
quite disturbing. The more amazing thing is another
title match only a week and a half before a PPV. Could
this be the start of a push for Billy Gunn, that RAW
reporter Nick Tylwalk thinks is coming? Sadly, no. Big
Show overpowers Gunn throughout the match, and uses a
rest hold to grind it to a halt. Gunn makes things
interesting hitting a dropkick out of a choke slam,
and then nailing the famouser. Big Show won't be
fooled twice, though, catching Gunn in the second
attempt, and slamming him to the mat for the pin.
Winner via pinfall ... and still US Champ: The Big
Show
Paul Heyman is everywhere tonight. He's a real
hands-on GM as he talks with the Chavos. Junior is
upset the Rey Mysterio accused him of knocking his
uncle Eddie out in the back last week, and that Rey is
on the cover of Smackdown! Magazine. So Heyman books a
match for No Way Out, Chavo Jr. versus Rey Mysterio
for the cruiserweight title. And Chavo will have to
take on Rey tonight, make the Chavo Senior will have
to take on Rey tonight.
Michael Cole is in the ring to introduce Eddie
Guerrero, who will face Brock Lesnar for the title at
Now Way Out. Cole barely asks his first question when
the champ makes his way to the ring. Lesnar
congratulates Eddie on his win in the Smackdown!
Rumble. But the adds that he wasn't entered. Brock
also lists the names off those that he has beaten in
his career. The champ gets a little off topic with a
rant about Goldberg, almost forgetting that Eddie is
in the ring. Eddie tells Brock that he's impressed,
but he's spent his life overcoming obstacles, his size
and personal demons for example. So, that's all Lesnar
is to Eddie, then, one more obstacle to over come. And
come No Way Out Lesnar will face the full force of
Latino Heat.
So much for a brand split, as we are shown footage
of the 'paranormal' happenings on Raw from this past
week. I wonder if the Undertaker is behind this?
Match #3 -- Jamie Noble vs. Billy Kidman
I wonder if Kidman is getting more TV time because
his wife is going to be naked in a national men's
magazine? Ah, man, I just ruined part of the big
surprise coming later in this report. Halfway through
the match Nidia walked down the ramp with Noble's
wallet. She starts tossing his money into the crowd.
Kidman takes advantage, by slamming the distracted
Noble, and covering for an easy pin.
Winner via pinfall: Billy Kidman
After his loss, Noble tracks down Paul Heyman
backstage. Noble whines about Nidia costing him some
serious money, and he wants her in the ring. Heyman
agrees, and books a match at No Way Out. Jamie Noble
versus Nidia. That's the deal breaker -- I can't wait
for No Way Out!
It's time for the world premier of Rey Mysterio's
music video, and it's time for me to grab a drink!
It's even more footage from RAW. Steve Austin
gives Goldberg a front row ticket for No Way Out. Read
about here in Nick Tylwalk's Monday Night Raw report.
(I can't believe I'm giving this guy a plug, after he
took a swipe at my Royal Rumble column.)
Now for the big news. Why this wasn't teased
earlier in the show is beyond me. The two WWE Divas
that will appear in Playboy are Sable and Torrie
Wilson. The magazine covers are revealed and we get to
see some behind the scene footage from the pictorial
shoot. Remember guys -- you just bought it to read the
articles.
Match #4 -- Chavo Guerrero Sr. w/ Jr. vs. Rey
Mysterio
Mysterio is jumped by Chavo as Junior distracts
him. Mysterio lands a seated senton and then trips
Chavo into the ropes. Junior jumps onto the apron and
moves his dad out of the way of the 619. Mysterio drop
kicks Junior off the apron, and connects with the
second 619. Mysterio quickly covers Chavo and picks up
the win.
Winner via pin fall: Rey Mysterio
After the bell, the Guerreros put the boots to
Mysterio until the refs clear the ring.
Backstage, Paul Heyman is getting his temples
massaged by Dawn Marie. She asks him who the number
one contender will be. Heyman says she should be more
worried about a 'costume malfuction' and he will
announce the contender after the next match.
Match #5 -- Kurt Angle vs. Hardcore Holly
Angle starts the match off with a series of mat
wrestling moves. Holly eventually has enough and
starts the brawl with the Olympic champion. After an
arm-drag on Holly, Angle charges Holly in the corner.
Hardcore sidesteps him, sending Angle flying shoulder
first into the ring post. Angle sells the injury the
rest of the match. After a sleeper hold, Angle is set
up for a powerbomb. The Olympian fights his way out,
and responds with a series of clotheslines. Angle then
hits two German suplexes, but Holly counters with a
small package. After Angle kicks out, Holly sets up
for the Alambama Slam. Angle grabs the ropes, and
frees himself from the move. After an inverted DDT,
Holly goes to the top rope. Angle gets to his feet,
only to be clocked with a clothesline from the top
turnbuckle. Holly connects with the Alabama Slam, but
Angle is able to break the pin fall by getting a foot
on the ropes. Angle is caught in a full nelson, but is
able to counter with the Angle Slam. Angle then slaps
on the ankle lock, but Holly rolls through and kicks
away. Holly tries for another Alabama Slam, but Angle
counters with a sunset flip and locks in the ankle
lock, again. Holly tries to kick free, but is
unsuccessful and eventually taps.
Winner via submission: Kurt Angle
Paul Heyman hits the ring immediately after the
match. Before Paul can say one word, Big Show lumbers
to the ring. Show pleads his case to Paul Heyman to be
the number one contender. Angle responds by
challenging Show to any athletic competition, which
doesn't included pie eating. And I think the WWE
writing staff has been watching too much Happy
Gilmore; just read this classic exchange:
Big Show: "I eat pieces of crap like you for
breakfast!"
Kurt Angle: "You eat crap for breakfast?"
It's funny, but just plain lazy from a creative
standpoint. Heyman interrupts before they start
quoting Caddyshack, and is about to book the two in a
match at No Way Out, when John Cena interrupts. Cena
takes verbal shots at Big Show and Kurt Angle, who
then beg Heyman to add Cena to the match. Heyman won't
do it at first, until Cena keeps rapping. Heyman then
adds Cena to the match, just to shut him up.
Visit the SLAM! Wrestling store!
Buy WWE Bloodbath: Wrestling's Most Incredible Steel Cage Matches Double DVD Set
Dale Plummer is a rookie on the SLAM! Wrestling
staff. Dale is petitioning the FCC to investigate
Smackdown! for other copyright infringements and other
indecent acts committed against classic comedies. You
can email him hereto add your name to the list or
discuss any other issues, Dplummer627@yahoo.com.
