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Undertaker DVD release arrives D.O.A.
By
JON WALDMAN -- SLAM! Wrestling
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Undertaker: He Buries Them Alive
The timing is right for the WWE's recent release of the Undertaker tribute
DVD, "He Buries Them Alive", but the content could be much more.
Amidst all the rumours of the Undertaker going back to his "undead phenom"
gimmick, WWE has re-issued the one-time tape on DVD. Hosted by the Million Dollar
Man, the recording is straight, uncut matches; and while this may not seem out-of-the-ordinary
for today's market, remember this was originally done in the mid 1990s, when
there were very few video compilations being released.
Here's a brief look at the Undertaker DVD matches:
Match 1> Undertaker vs. Undertaker
This, of course, is from the resulted from the original Yokozuna/Undertaker
casket match. After Yoko won, the Undertaker "died", but was brought
back to the WWF by Dibiase. Paul Bearer claimed Dibiase's 'Taker was fake, and
intended to prove it by resurrecting the Undertaker, resulting in this match
at Summerslam.
The first few minutes of this segment is Bearer using a flashlight urn to "unleash
the spirit" of the Undertaker. The match itself is a pure abomination of
a match, with pretty much everything being punches and clotheslines. The end
of the match has "Fakertaker" get the tombstone, but not pin. The
second attempt is reversed by the Undertaker, who delivers two other tombstones
for the duke.
Winner: Undertaker (the real one)
Rating: 1 out of 10 - This was a terrible match. The ending was appropriate,
but the action was deplorable. Given how much Callous and Brian Lee (Fakertaker)
can do in the ring, I was really disappointed.
Match 2> Undertaker vs. Kwang
This is from what appears to be the first-ever RAW broadcast. Kwang, for those
who don't recall, was a masked martial arts wrestler; he's better known, however,
as Savio Vega.
This is as typical an old school 'Taker match as you'll ever see - lots of
zombie no-sells, the power and acrobatics. Kwang, being a somewhat name wrestler
at the time, does get in some offence, but not much. Kwang, near the end, uses
the ever popular green mist on 'Taker, but he no sells that, and in fact, spits
back, which somehow sends Kwang, who's wearing a mask, reeling. A chokeslam
later the match is over.
Winner: Undertaker.
Rating: 2.5 out of 10 - good to see classic Undertaker action, though
seeing a bit more out of Kwang wouldn't have hurt.
Match 3> Undertaker vs. Yokozuna - Casket match
This one's from Survivor Series, and has Chuck Norris as the special enforcer
outside preventing a re-run of the original casket match between these two,
where every heel teamed up to help Yoko win the match.
This one is pretty slow-going. At this point, Yoko was, according to McMahon's
commentary, around the 600-pound mark. Yoko gets gassed pretty quickly here,
and the match suffers as a result. Interference is needed here, and we get it.
King Kong Bundy and Bam Bam Bigelow mak their way to ringside, staring Norris
straight in the eye, while IRS comes from the other side to get to the Undertaker,
who was about to stuff Yoko in the casket. IRS does a much more impressive segment
with 'Taker than Yoko did, and even gets him in the casket. The referees, however,
are busy getting rid of Bundy and Bigelow and the casket can't be closed.
Yoko, is still incredibly gassed, and even falls over at one point. It's scary
just how big this guy got. Eventually, 'Taker grabs Yoko and makes his way out
of the casket. Jeff Jarrett, at one point, comes down to ringside, and gets
some Sweet Chin Music from Norris. It's now a matter of time, and after a SWEET
running DDT and a big boot, 'Taker wins the match.
Winner: Undertaker
Rating: 2.75 out of 10 - Not a bad match, per se, but, then again, I tend
to enjoy the concept of the casket match more than some people.
Match 4> Undertaker vs. Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart
This one's from Superstars, and basically serves as a build-up to the casket
match that is also on the DVD.
This is your typical Superstars main event, with Undertaker and Neidhart having
a pretty good go at it. Anvil gets a pretty good showing here, dominating the
match at times. The turning point comes, however, when Paul Bearer heads to
the back and brings out the casket. After 'Taker gains control in the match,
he tosses Neidhart into the open casket. Neidhart panics and basically runs
from the ring, causing a count-out.
Winner: Undertaker
Rating 1.5 out of 10 - not great action in the ring, but the matches on
Superstars were never that great to begin with.
Match 5> Undertaker vs. Jerry "The King" Lawler - Casket Match
I actually never knew this one existed. This is a Colesium Video exclusive,
and includes commentary from Stan Lane and Gorilla Monsoon.
This is classic Lawler, using a foreign object repeatedly, versus the classic
Undertaker, who is impervious to pain. Lawler actually gets 'Taker in the casket
and is really close to winning the match, but 'Taker blocks the close of the
casket.
Much of the action here is punchy, but in a good way - Lawler is just trying
to knock-out 'Taker, rather than try to weaken him. Undertaker, however, gets
the eventual control, gets the Tombstone, and stuffs the King in the casket
for the W.
Winner: Undertaker
Rating: 3.5 out of 10 - Great match for what it was, but not a mat classic.
Worth seeing at least once.
In the end, we get a pretty good look at what the Undertaker was. The DVD serves
as a good refresher course on 'Taker, but at only 60 minutes it's a bit wasted.
Tacking on at least another hour of bonus matches would have been definitely
worth WWE's time. If you want to stay with the footage only available up until
that point, there are still a ton of matches that fans would have wanted. Matches
like the Wrestlemania VIII match against Jake "The Snake" Roberts,
his debut at Survivor Series or title victory over Hulk Hogan would definitely
have made this compilation a more recommended buy. As is, however, it's definitely
worth a rental, or possibly a below-regular price purchase (ie. sale or second-hand).
What Undertaker matches would you like to see on a "Dead-Man"
compilation? Send
your thoughts to Jon and they will be posted in a future column.
RELATED LINKS:
More on The Undertaker
More SLAM! Wrestling reviews
Visit the SLAM! Wrestling store!
Buy the WWE Undertaker: He Buries Them Alive DVD
Jon Waldman has been with SLAM! since 2000. He is anxiously anticipating
the "Best of Los Boriquas" DVD.
