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TNA: Callis vs Watts a strange main event
By DONNIE ABREU -- SLAM! Wrestling


Don Callis

This week's show was very entertaining. It featured the debut of an ECW icon and several stars from AAA in Mexico. We also had a title change, a job loss, more insane clowns, more fairplay and a blatant attempt to be seen on Sports Center.

The show started with Eric Watts, Goldylocks and Chicago Bear Brian Urlacher getting out of a big black limo and walking into the Asylum.

Abyss VS. D-Lo Brown

As Abyss walked out to the ring, Brown cut a backstage promo about how he was going to exact revenge for his boy AJ Styles. Pretty good promo.

Brown came out quickly but Abyss turned the tables by using his size and taking the match to the floor. D'Lo was literally thrown from post to post by the 6'8" monster. Abyss seemed set to finish the match but Brown came back with a series of kicks and a top rope clothesline. D'Lo struggled like mad to get the big man up, but HE DID and held him for a few seconds before hitting his version of the Catatonic. Abyss recovered and connected with his sit-out Torture Rack. Brown kicked out. Short power bomb by Brown. As Brown went for the Frog Splash, Abyss threw the ref into the ropes knocking the former WWF star down. Abyss snuck in the Black Hole Slam and picked up another win. This was a MUCH better match than I would have anticipated. I'd love to see them go at it again in a 15 minute match.

Winner: Abyss

As Abyss tried to leave the ring, Brown grabbed his hair pulling him back. Abyss then powerbombed D'Lo onto a table that had been set up earlier outside the ring. Blood came pouring out of Brown's mouth. Another big masked man, El Leon ran down to make the save. That match will happen next week.

In the locker room Jeff Jarrett is surrounded by all the heels and has his lawyer on the speaker phone. The lawyer says that Brian Urlacher must leave the building immediately or something horrible will happen. I think he said that if Urlacher stayed then the lawyer would have a no-trade clause worked into the big linebacker's NFL contract. That might have just been my imagination.

X-Division Championship Match
Chris Sabin (champion) VS. Michael Shane (accompanied by Shane Douglas and Tracy)

The Toronto native Tracy was wearing a cast on her wrist as a result of that HUGE bump she took last week off the top to the outside onto a table.

The match started off slowly with both men feeling each other out. A bunch of standing switches and reversals with very little rest time. Douglas joined the announcers while Tracy constantly ran interference for her man. Michael slammed the champion's head into the broadcast table while Douglas yelled in his face "Hail Sabin!"

Back in the ring, BEAUTIFUL overhead release suplex by the Heartbreak Cousin. Sabin took over and knocked Shane to the outside. He threw the ex champ into the crowd and pulled the rail towards the ring. Sabin then rang back into the ring, hopped onto the top rope and FLEW past the third row onto the challenger. Holy crap.

A 360 standing moonsault by Sabin, but he was caught by a superkick. Sabin kicked out and tried to slip in the Cradle Shock. Shane escaped but a series of reversals ended with a sweet jackknife cradle roll. Great match. Shane finally proved he can work a match without relying on the Memphis-style heel crap.

Winner and STILL Champion: Chris Sabin

At the end of the match Douglas was ticked off. He ran into the ring and screamed at his protege. The crowd was begging for Michael to kick Douglas' head off, but they just hugged and walked off.

We then had a recap of Jonny Fairplay's horrible segment from last week. That was followed up by a pre-taped sit-down interview by Tenay with Fairplay. Fairplay is wearing a neck brace trying to sell an injury given to him by Styles. Of course he only sold the injury for about five seconds. Tenay mentioned that Fairplay used to be the personal assistant to Roddy Piper. Fairplay tried to look upset and told Tenay not to mention that name again. Oh lord. Apparently he is going to have a new interview segment called "Playing Fair with Jonny". Tenay asked if it would be like Piper's Pit. That's when Jonny walked out. Thank God. You'd think pre-taping him would help. It didn't.

Sandman backstage talking about how he will face Mitchell's team again, but needs a new partner.

The Gathering (Julio Dinero & CM Punk) with Father James Mitchell VS. Sandman and a mystery partner

The mystery is actually how Sandman makes it to the ring in a vertical position after downing a dozen Buds during his entrance music. Sandman's tag partner was actually MIKEY WHIPWRECK! Cool. Whipwreck slid into the ring behind the Gathering, and had his former ECW manager Mitchell try to strike a quick bargain with him. Mikey seemed all set to agree but then snuck a thumb to the eye on both Punk and Dinero. On the outside Mikey swung Dinero by the waist into the rail neck first. He tried to follow with a dive off the top but he missed and took the steel in the face. WELCOME BACK MIKEY!

Punk took Sandman's cane but missed the homerun swing and was caught along with Dinero in a double DDT. The Gathering recovered. Lamb's Slaughter and the baddies win again.

Winners: The Gathering

Like last week, the match was short and the new partner only spent a few moments in the ring. Does TNA pay ex-ECW title holders by the second?

The lights went out and a video promo ran that said "I'm watching you Devil". I guess that means Raven ordered this week's PPV.

Backstage Johnny Swinger and Simon Diamond argued about which one of them had signed with Jarrett. They both deny having done so.

In the ring, Don Callis (backed by the Red Shirt Security and Fairplay) called out Brian Urlacher. Callis told Urlacher to his face that if he didn't leave that Watts would automatically lose the match. Callis said that they could do it the easy way or the hard way. The hard way involved the Red Shirts attacking the All Pro. Urlacher ran off the ropes and nailed both men with a double clothesline. He then gave ESPN a quick piece of footage by pressing Fairplay over his head and to the floor.

8 Man X-Division Match
Chad Collyer, Shark Boy, Eric Young and Matt Stryker VS. Juventud Guerrera, Mr. Aguila, Hector Garza and Abismo Negro

Kid Kash came out with his clipboad but was run off by Jeremy Borash, the time keeper and 73 year old woman.

This was set to be a preview of the America's X-Cup set for February 11th. All the members of the AAA team were in action here in this match.

This was my first look at Abismo Negro (translated to Black Abyss), and first time I've seen Garza since the LWO in WCW. Aguila of course was Essa Rios in the WWF. "Showtime" Eric Young is a Canadian talent who has been on the show in the past.

Guerrera and Aguila did a lot of flying before Garza came in and was kept in the corner of the home team.

Team TNA (Elix Skipper, Sonjay Dutt, Chris Sabin and Jerry Lynn) came out to the ramp to scout the match.

Abismo Negro, the muscle of the team, showed some flying ability with a Benoit style Topei to the floor on Stryker. That was followed up by a dive from Aguila, Sharky and basically everyone else. You know how those lucha pile-ons work.

A shooting star press by Aguila and that was it.

Winners: Team AAA

Team TNA then walked into the ring to face off with their future opponents. All eight men shook hands in a sign of mutual respect.

Backstage Trinity talked about signing with Jarrett while Siaki has still decided not to because he is following the advice of some mystery friend. Kid Kash ran in and helped Trinity lock some handcuffs on the former X-Champ.

TNA Tag Team Title Match
The 3 Live Krew (Ron Killings and BG James) with Konnan (champions)VS.The Red Shirt Security Team (Kevin Northcutt and Joe Legend)

I'm so sick of the 3LK and Konnan's horrible pre match promo. So stale. Can't Killings just be a World Title contender again?

As bad as BG James is, Nortcutt is worse. Legend and Killings had to carry this match.

Legend hit some nice suplexes and went for a moonsault but missed it. James with his shaky-shaky knees thing but the Red Shirts have watched a lot of New Age Outlaws on home video. Killings dove off the top onto Lehend on the outside.

The ref was then distracted by The New Franchise (Michael Shane and Tracy) while Shane Douglas hit James with one of the belts. Northcutt made the cover.

Winners and NEW Champions: The career bouncer and the big guy from Scarborough

Backstage, The Sandman was on the phone and said he was bringing Terry Funk in to the Asylum next week to help him do battle with the Gathering.

Tenay was in the ring and then introduced the most hated and controversial band in the world - a band that has sold more than ten million albums with very little mainstream support: The Insane Clown Posse.

The crowd was filled with Juggalos and went nuts for ICP (who also had the best entrance video and music in the whole company). Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope basically just talked about how they are fans of TNA and want to join all their fans at the Asylum every week.

Glen Gilberti and David Young crashed the party, started a brawl and set up a tag match for next week. I guess Disco's not down with the clown.

No Disqualification / Resignation Match
Eric Watts VS. Don Callis

When's the last time Callis had a match outside of Border City? When's the last time Callis OR Watts HEADLINED a pay per view? I've never claimed to be a wrestling historian, but I'm pretty sure it's NEVER happened. The circumstances for this match are simple. Both men have decision making power in TNA (much like Austin and Bischoff for so many months on Raw). The loser of this match will resign from his job allowing the victor to have absolute control. All TNA wrestlers are handcuffed at ringside in pairs as to avoid interference. Jarrett came out and handcuffed that "big bully" Mike Tenay to the guard rail behind him. As the champ finished that, El Leon handcuffed the champion to himself at ringside. Callis appeared to be wearing a shiny rhinestone robe he stole from Terry Taylor's bag.

This was basically a garbage match with chair shots, brawling outside the ring et all. There was a spot where Callis was standing on the opposite side of the rail amongst the ham and eggers (thank you Bobby Heenan) when Watts tried to do his best RVD impression. He used all his ability to leapfrog the rail, but didn't have enough jump to get to his opponent. Donny bailed him out though by throwing a chair at the big guy's head.

When the "action" finally made it into the ring, Callis had a brief advantage (which he used to do his own version of JJ's strut, and throw on a side headlock). The nice thing about having Callis wrestle in the main event is that the ICP suddenly look like credible competitors.

Watts made a come back and went for his chokeslam but we had a ref bump. Trinity decided to interfere by moonsaulting into the ring onto Watts. Nobody handcuffed the women huh? Seems to me that would have been my first thought. Watts survived Trinity's attack, but then we had the big moment. The greatest call by any announcer - ever. Tenay screamed "GOLDYLOCKS YOU WHORE!" following the predictable heel turn by the former interviewer. As Watts was set to nail a chokeslam we had a crotch shot followed by a DC belt shot. Tenay followed his first gem up with "That bitch is a gold digger!" Easy Mike.

Winner and STILL Management Consultant for SLAM! Wrestling (and TNA): Don Callis


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  • See the ICP at their insane best -- buy Juggalo Championshit Wrestling - Volume 2

    Also, thanks to Jaya Roopansingh for covering my butt last week and providing SLAM! with a rock solid TNA recap.

    Donnie Abreu is a Toronto-based writer who has been blessing SLAM! Wrestling with his presence for many, many years now.