December 19, 2003
Smackdown: Hardcore Holly keeps his job
By DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling
With only a week 'till Christmas, and a big trip to the Middle East, Smackdown! makes a stop in Jacksonville, Florida. I wish I were there. Michael Cole and Tazz bring us the action, but first we see a recap of last week's match between Rey Mysterio and Brock Lesnar.
The Doctor of Thug-a-nomics makes a call to the ring. Cena raps a nice holiday tale, although I wouldn't recommend it for the kids. He then joins Cole and Tazz at the announce position, presenting Tazz with a new throwback WWE shirt. Tazz immediately whips out his cell phone, ala Joe Horn. Funny stuff.
Match #1 - Big Show vs. Orlando Jordan
Cena sticks around to provide commentary. I predict this match will be a squash, but Jordan will pull the upset when Cena distracts Show. And I'm wrong. The match is a squash, but Show does win with a choke slam. He and Cena then stare each other down after the match.
Winner via pin-fall: Big Show
Hardcore Holly enters the arena. A security guard tries to tell him that he is banned, but Holly says Paul Heyman invited him. A security detail shows up to escort Holly to his personal locker room, which Heymanset aside for him.
After the break, A-Train is waiting in the ring. Brock Lesnar heads down, with Matt Morgan and Heyman in tow. Brock is pretty upset that Train cost Team Lesnar money by losing to Shannon Moore. A-Train apologizes, and wants to make it up to Lesnar. Heyman has an idea; A-Train will team with Morgan against Moore and Holly tonight. Also, if Moore and Holly lose, Holly is done with WWE, but if they win Holly will get the title shot he wants.
Match #2 - Los Guerreros vs. The World's Greatest Tag Team vs. Rikishi and Scotty 2 Hotty vs. The Basham Brothers, Fatal 4-way WWE Tag Team Title match
This match is a total mess. Anyone can be tagged in at anytime, and Danny Basham takes advantage early. He tags Eddie Guerrero in right away. Rikishi takes it to Eddie; Chavo tries to help, but gets splashed in the corner with Eddie for his trouble. Both men clear the ring, before Rikishi can hit a double stink-face. Charlie Haas tags in, but can't get the sunset flip over on Rikishi. Eddie Guerrero nails one of his patented moves, taking the Bashams for a ride with the dual head scissors/arm drag maneuver. With the champs down in the corner, Rikishi tags back in. TWGTT acts like they're going to cut off the stink-face. It is just a ruse, as the Bashams get a face full of the big man's big behind.
After the break, Scotty 2 Hotty hits the worm on Doug Basham, but Haas breaks the pin. After a blind tag, Chavo lands a cross-body block on Danny. All hell breaks loose, then. Scotty and Danny are the last two men left standing. Chavo recovers to fight off Scotty, and nails a superplex on Danny. The ref is distracted, and Doug is able to frog splash Chavo, and switch positions with his brother. Doug pins Chavo to retain the titles.
Winner via pinfall: The Basham Brothers
In Paul Heyman's office, Dawn Marie is listening to the GM's newest idea. And she is looking darn good while doing it to. Heyman is giving everyone on the roster a chance to win the WWE title, everyone, but Chris Benoit that is. One random wrestler will be drawn from a barrel to face Brock Lesnar tonight.
Ernest Miller, better known as the Cat, is on his way to ring to waste out time again. Sable's music hits immediately, and she storms to the ring. She rips into him for kissing her last week. The Cat blocks a slap attempt and goes for another lip lock, but Vince McMahon's music puts a quick stop to that. McMahon is upset, but instead wants to show Cat who is the greatest. Vince shows off his moves, but The Cat doesn't get much of a chance, as Vince kicks him below the belt. The Cat is left rolling in pain on the mat.
Match #3 - Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble w/ Nidia - #1 Cruiserweight Title Contenders match
Nidia is still blind from the attack of Tajiri last month. Noble hangs Mysterio in a tree of woe, but only connects with the ring post with a shoulder block. Mysterio then hits a moonsault. Noble gets knocked into the ropes, and it's time for the 6-1-9. Noble plays possum, and sends Misterio to the floor. Noble then hits the floor and tosses his girlfriend into the ring. He then drop kicks her into the ref. Noble sets up Mysterio for a Tiger Bomb, but Rey reverses it into a head scissors pin, and wins the match. After the match, Noble races to the aide of his girlfriend, explaining how the 'evil' Mysterio threw her into the ring and cost him the match.
Winner via pinfall: Rey Mysterio
Hardcore Holly tells off the security in his locker room. They don't do a good job of keeping Josh Matthews away, either. Holly explains that he has to wrestle this match tonight to try to save his career.
Match #4 - Chris Benoit vs. Chuck Palumbo w/ The FBI
The FBI is sent to the back right away. Benoit locks in the Cross Face early, but Palumbo is able to get to the ropes. Benoit hits his triple German suplexes, and then takes to the air with a flying head butt. Palumbo fights back, dropping Beoit into the turnbuckle, but can only get a two count. Benoit then slaps on the CCF out of nowhere, and Palumbo taps. The FBI hit the ring after the match. Benoit fights them off, but eventually succumbs to the numbers.
Winner via submission: Chris Benoit
Nidia is in the trainer's room being checked out. Rey Mysterio tries to tell her what really happened, as she cowers in fear. Oh, and he does it in Spanish, which she responds in.
Match #5 - Rhyno vs. Bradshaw
Rhyno comes out to the ring to call out Bradshaw. One problem, Bradshaw is all ready in Iraq. Rhyno wants the ref to declare him the winner by forfeit. Faarooq steps up in his partners place. Rhyno isn't happy, and nails Farooq with a low blow to get himself DQ'ed. He then follows up with a Gore.
Winner via DQ: Faarooq
Match #6 - Brock Lesnar vs. ??? - WWE Title Match
Lesnar gets to the chance to draw his opponent. The champ seems upset, at first, but anger turns to laughter as it turns out he drew Shannon Moore. I smell a fix. Moore puts up a fight early. Knocking the champ to the ground with a series of kicks. Lesnar takes over the match, and Moore gets caught in the Brock Lock. Moore taps out.
Winner by submission: Brock Lesnar
Lesnar gloats after the match. He says he could have beaten anyone. He reaches into the barrels and pulls out another ball. It says Shannon Moore. He pulls out another, which also has Moore's name on it. In fact, all the balls say Shannon Moore. It was a set up!
Match #7 - Hardcore Holly and Shannon Moore vs. A-Train and Matt Morgan
Holly heads to the ring with security, who move to protect Lesnar. While Holly verbally spars with Lesnar, Morgan and A-Train hit the ring to take advantage of a weakened Shannon Moore. Moore is stuck in the ring, as the bell rings to start the match. Moore is worked over by both men, until he can crawl to corner for a tag. Holly immediately knocks Morgan off the apron, and then hits Train with a clothesline off the top rope. Holly is tossed to the outside, where Lesnar nails him with a chair. A-Train tosses Hardcore back inside, and Morgan finishes him off with a powerbomb. Holly kicks out of the pin attempt, and then fights out of a bear hug. A-Train tries to take out Holly with a bicycle kick, but connects with Morgan instead. Holly breaks out the Alabama Slam on Morgan, and covers him for the three count.
Winner via pin-fall: Hardcore Holly and Shannon Moore
After the match, Lesnar is livid. And that's the show!
Dale Plummer is a rookie on the SLAM! Wrestling staff. Dale hopes Tazz isn't going to be fined for his phone stunt tonight.