SLAM! Sports SLAM! Wrestling
   Tue, December 16, 2003



News & Rumours
Bios
Obits
Canadian Hall of Fame
WrestleMania 30
WrestleMania 30 photos
Video
Movie Database
Minority Mat Report
Columnists
Features
Results Archive
PPV Reviews
SLAM! Wrestling store
On Facebook
On Twitter
Send Feedback




Photo Galleries

Raw in Detroit


WWE Tables, Ladders and Chairs ... and Stairs


NXT Takeover: [R] Evolution


WWE Survivor Series


House of Hardcore VII


Signmania VIII


Beulah McGillicutty







SCOREBOARD
PHOTO GALLERY
VIDEO GALLERY
COMMENT





Raw: Foley hits the road
By NICK TYLWALK -- SLAM! Wrestling


Armageddon turned out to be a pretty fitting title for the last WWE pay-per-view of the year. In one fell swoop, Evolution captured all of the title belts Raw had to offer. With all four members standing on the stage to start out tonight's show, Triple H claims they made good on his promise to change the face of sports entertainment. Now, everyone will have to live under Evolution's golden rule: they have all the gold, so they make all the rules. Can Mick Foley, Goldberg, or anyone else do anything about it? Find out as Raw goes live from Mickey Mouse's winter home, Orlando, Florida.

Match 1 - Trish Stratus and Lita vs. Christian and Chris Jericho - Eric Bischoff's Battle of the Sexes II<

For some reason, Bischoff wants to see this again. Jericho and Trish have some words in the ring, and a dejected Y2J tags himself out rather than wrestling against her. Christian has no such qualms, playing rough with both ladies. Jericho works a little against Lita before tagging his partner back in, though Christian soon finds himself under assault from a Lita moonsault (I think) and a high cross body from Trish. The fans boo lustily as Christian hits a double clothesline, pulls up at two on his cover of Trish and nails the blonde bombsehll with an Unprettier. He covers again but Jericho decides he's seen enough and drags Christian out of the pin. Words are exchanged and referee Charles Robinson calls for the bell. When Christian protests, Jericho shoves him down hard in the corner, and Y2J looks legitimately concerned as the trainer and a couple of refs tend to Trish. Speaking of concerned, Bischoff flies down to the ring and gets in Jericho's face about ruining his match. Jericho fires right back, calling the co-GM a jackass and claiming he never wanted the match to happen, certianly not twice. Since the Canadian is so angry, Bischoff decides to put him in a match with someone equally upset, namely Kane. With that out of the way, Eric moves on to other business, asking Foley to come to the ring to hear his idea to change the face of Raw forever.

After a commercial break, Mick obliges and steps into the ring, though he can't imagine Bischoff's idea is more important than his quest to return Stone Cold Steve Austin to Raw. To that end, he's going in front of the Board of Directors in two weeks to plead his case, and a certain Texas Rattlesnake will be on hand as well. Bischoff congratulates him sarcastically, but claims that Foley is still a disappointment. His reasoning is that the people want to see Mick not as co-GM but as Mick Foley, hardcore legend, and as an active participant in the ring. Bischoff rolls an excellent video package on the Titan Tron that goes through Foley's career, including most of his famous bumps. The crowd digs it, but Foley says he knows where this is headed and states that if and when he returns to the ring, it will be on his own terms. Unfazed, Bischoff talks about surviving six grueling months with Austin as his partner and promising himself that would never happen again, so he's ready to settle their situation tonight. His proposal is simple: Foley versus an opponent of Bischoff's choosing, in this case Randy Orton. If Orton loses, Bischoff will quit Raw tonight, but if Foley loses, he's gone from the show. Mick considers the ramifications for a second, but says there's no deal. After all, he can see how the match will go, with him beating Orton's non-dues paying rear end all over Orlando until the rest of Evolution lends a hand and ensures his defeat. So Mick proposes three stipulations of his own: Earl Hebner must be the referee, Evolution is banned from ringside and Bischoff can't interfere. Eric looks a little uncertain, but says they have a deal and shakes Foley's hand. Mick turns to leave, but stops and returns for just a second. It occurred to him that he's never held the Intercontinental Title, so he exercises his power as co-GM to make it a title match as well. J.R. sounds like he's about to have a coronary since it's now winner takes all.

Match 2 - Booker T and Maven vs. Mark Henry and Matt Hardy (Version 1.0)

Call it kind of a combination rematch from Armageddon, with the seemingly endless feud between Booker and Henry rolling on. Maven works most of the match for the faces, holding his own until Hardy scores a couple of near falls. The Tough Enough winner reverses a power bomb into a Russian leg sweep and dives to make the hot tag to Booker, whose flurry of offense ends with a spinebuster and a Spineroonie. Henry tries to intervene but gets low bridged and neutralized on the floor by Maven's cross body. Hardy goes for the Twist of Fate, but Booker counters with a scissor kick and gets the one, two, three. Now please let him move on to another feud. I'm begging you.

The Coach waits outside Goldberg's dressing room to get the exclusive 411 on what it's like to be an ex-world champion. After a brief word from our sponsors, he attempts to go in only to have the door slammed in his face. No one disrespects The Coach like that! He makes another attempt to get the scoop by barging in, but the sounds of Goldberg roughing him up are soon followed by the sight of him flying out of the room and landing hard on the concrete. Remember, that beating was a Jonathan Coachman exclusive.

Match 3 - La Resistance vs. ?

Before their opponents are introduced, Rene Dupree mocks The Rock for the beating they gave him last week. With that revisionist history behind them, he goes on to say they are not "fi-fi," and Conway mocks Foley while pledging their full support for Orton. Whatever match was planned seems to have changed, as Lillian Garcia announces Goldberg and he makes his way down the ramp, kicking Conway on the way. Two spears and a jackhammer later, Goldberg takes LR's French flag and snaps it in half. The he grabs an American flag from the crowd as "U.S.A." chants ring out and J.R. extols his virtues as a patriot. Bischoff is not as impressed, and he comes out to berate Goldberg for beating up La Resistance and his number one announcer, Coach. Since he's such a loose cannon, Bischoff decides to remove him from the active roster for 30 days. My suggestion for Goldberg? Next time you spear someone, make like Chad Johnson and pull out a sign that says, "Please Bischoff, don't suspend me again."

Backstage, Foley wonders aloud if he's doing the right thing. So he asks Shawn Michaels about what it's like to return for one match and get sucked back into being a regular. HBK says the business is like a mob, and just when you think you're out, you get pulled back in. When asked, Michaels has to admit it was worth it. Foley asks Shawn to hand him his flannel shirt, because he's got a match to wrestle. Next up, footage is shown of Denver Broncos running back Clinton Portis sporting a replica world heavyweight title belt after his five TDs against the Chiefs. Hey, if David Arquette could wear it, I have no problem with Portis.

Match 4 - Rob Van Dam and Shawn Michaels vs. Triple H, Ric Flair and Batista

Originally this match was supposed to feature Goldberg as well, but apparently his deactivation begins immediately. Michaels begins the match by frustrating Batista again, then finds himself working against all three heels. He rallies enough to toss Flair off the top rope (of course) and tags out to Van Dam, who immediately opens up on Batista with a series of kicks. The ref takes a bump in the corner right before Rob launches a Five Star Frog Splash. A cover is made but Flair drags the recovering ref away, HHH hits a Pedigree and Batista is dragged on top of Van Dam. The ref finally gets over to make the count, but RVD revives just in time to kick out, and the match continues. Flair locks the Figure Four on Van Dam as we abruptly head to a commercial. Rob's in trouble in the heel corner when we return, but he eventually makes the hot tag to HBK. Michaels nails a top rope elbow on Triple H and starts warming up the band, but Flair distracts the ref and Batista delivers his tigerbomb. Van Dam leaps to the outside with a cross body on Flair and Batista as both men in the ring just barely beat the ref's ten count. A pedigree is countered with a back drop, though Shawn's attempt at his finisher is foiled as he's caught and spun around. HBK ducks a clothesline and scores with Sweet Chin Music, covering for the pinfall and the unlikely victory.

Match 5 - Rico vs. Jon Heidenreich

This is a rematch from Heat, so as S. Carter would put it, what more can I say? Rico seems to enjoy being in Jon's bear hug a little too much, not that there's anything wrong with that. Heidenreich gets in a number of power moves, but Rico prevails with a little help from Miss Jackie.

Jericho knocks on Trish's door to ask her if she's okay, but she says she'll only feel better if CJ never talks to her again. The door is slammed in Jericho's face, which seems to be a popular way to handle things tonight.

Match 6 - Chris Jericho vs. Kane

Former undisputed champion or not, Jericho has no chance here with the way they're currently booking Kane. An early Lionsault is caught and countered by a choke, then Kane hits a sidewalk slam and throws Jericho to the floor out of a military press. After a beating on the outside, Jericho grabs a chair and smacks Kane to earn the DQ. Undeterred, Kane hits a big boot, chokes Jericho with a camera cable and levels him with a chokeslam. When the smoke clears, Christian comes out to check on Y2J, but only so he can shove him back down again. All in all, not the best night to be Chris Jericho.

Bischoff gets together with Orton to go over some last minute stategy. Since Foley hasn't been in the ring for four years, Eric reasons that he's not in the best of shape and Orton can tire him out. Um, Foley was never in the best of shape. That was part of his charm. Anyway, Bischoff gets Orton fired up by insinuating that others in the locker room are doubting him, and the I-C champ promises to annihilate Foley. Meanwhile, Mick is getting good luck wishes from numerous faces in the back, and he wishes good luck in turn to Michaels. When HBK asks why, Foley tells him it's for the match he's booking between Michaels and Triple H for the world title in two weeks.

Main Event - Randy Orton vs. Mick Foley - Winner Takes All

Foley slides out of the ring and attmepts to psych himself up as the crowd gets behind him. He backs halfway up the ramp, and J.R. says he'll soon run and dive in the ring like so many times in the past. But Mick turns and walks up the ramp, then heads to the back. A puzzled Orton gives chase as Foley goes into his office and retrieves his suit and bag. Bischoff stops him and says that the stipulation is set in concrete, so if he leaves, that's it. Foley keeps walking as Bischoff asks rhetorically if this is how it's going to end for the great Mick Foley. Mick is almost out the door when Orton catches up to him and asks him if he's leaving. He mocks the tear he says he sees in Foley's eye, saying legends don't cry and calling Mick a coward. Orton spits in Foley's face, but Mick simply wipes it off, walks past him and out into the Orlando night in what might be the most anticlimactic ending ever. No Raw next week (it's the Best of 2003 show), so tune in two weeks from now to find out how many Orlando fans asked for a refund. Good night everyone, and have a Merry Christmas.

Nick Tylwalk has been a SLAM! Wrestling contributor since 1998, but this is the first time he?s ever seen Mick Foley run. Why, Mick, why?