SLAM! Sports SLAM! Wrestling
   Fri, October 10, 2003



News & Rumours
Bios
Obits
Canadian Hall of Fame
WrestleMania 30
WrestleMania 30 photos
Video
Movie Database
Minority Mat Report
Columnists
Features
Results Archive
PPV Reviews
SLAM! Wrestling store
On Facebook
On Twitter
Send Feedback




Photo Galleries

House of Hardcore VII


Signmania VIII


Beulah McGillicutty


Big Event 7 fan fest


Raw in Buffalo


SHIMMER tapings


Alexia Nicole







SCOREBOARD
PHOTO GALLERY
VIDEO GALLERY
COMMENT





Smackdown! craps out
By DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling


I thought WWE hit a new low with the bathroom segment last week. The WWE has sunk to a new low. I was wrong; WWE television has hit a new low. I can't believe they think we enjoy this crap. And I mean crap, literally. The last segment of tonight's Smackdown! featured Eddie and Chavo Guerrero spraying Big Show with the contents of a sewage tanker-truck. This would be funny, if I was 13. What I do find funny is the symbolism this segment represents, and people in the audience holding their noses in the arena. Also, "As the McMahon Turns" kicked off the show. These two worthless segments book ended an otherwise enjoyable show, filled with wrestlers that are doing their best, despite poor booking and storylines. Smackdown! reminds me of my New York Rangers; tons of talent, and not a clue what to do with it.

Before I get into the recap, I would like to thank everyone that has e-mailed their thoughts and concerns regarding the WWE. I've been busy and haven't had time to reply, but please keep the mail coming.

Tonight's Smackdown comes to us from Hartford, Connecticut, with Michael Cole and Tazz calling all the action. With the Boston Red Sox on TV tonight, I have a feeling that the rating are going be mighty low in the New England area, tonight.

The McMahon soap opera opens the show tonight. Linda McMahon shows up to address the situation between her daughter and husband. Steph makes her way out, and the McMahon fest is on. Linda tries to talk Steph out of wrestling, but her mind is made up. Vince interrupts, shockingly, and tells Linda to stop meddling in his business. Linda begs Vince to stop. When Vince refuses, Linda makes him put something on the line in the match. Vicne offers to step down as WWE Chairman if he loses. Sable hits the ring. Vince looks her over, before introducing her to his wife. Sable then offers Vince her services at No Mercy. Linda pretty much calls Sable a slut, and gets a kick in the gut for her troubles. Steph comes to Mom's aide, knocking Sable to the mat. Vince throws Steph off, and clotheslines her as she charges Sable, again. Vince and Sable walk to the back.

Match #1 -  Tajiri vs. Ultimo Dragon

Rey Misterio joins Cole and Tazz on commentary. I almost forgot Ultimo was on the roster.  Tajiri tries the handspring elbow early, but connects with a spin kick from Ultimo, instead. Tajiri is knocked to the outside, and Ultimo nails him with his patented moonsault. Back in the ring, Tajiri can't get the tarantula locked in. Ultimo goes up and over Tajiri, but the Japanese buzzsaw nails him with a super kick. Tajiri finishes Ultimo off with a kick to the temple. Tajiri picks up the victory. After the match Misterio jumps Tajiri.

Winner via pin-fall: Tajiri

Josh Matthews catches up with Steph. The GM inform us the Linda McMahon, her mother, will be her corner at No Mercy.

Match #2 - Undertaker vs. Chuck Palumbo with The FBI

Undertaker grabs the stick before the match. He says Vince is getting nervous that he'll take out his boy, Brock Lesnar. That's why he has to face the FBI tonight, so they'll soften him up. Undertaker has friends, though, and this one is a steel chain. Once the match gets underway, Undertaker takes Palumbo to the old school. Palumbo tries to spear ėTaker in the corner, but catches nothing but the ring post. Undertaker follows it up with snake eyes and a big boot. Nunzio and Johnny the Bull distract Undertaker, but Palumbo can't capitalize. A choke slam puts the goomba down for the count. After the match Brock Lesnar hits the ring from nowhere, and lays out Undertaker. The FBI joins in on the beating. Undertaker is able to grabs his chain and cleans house. Lesnar grabs a chair, but Undertaker fights him off with his equalizer.

Winner via pin-fall: Undertaker

Vince and Sable are watching the action, when a young wrestler interrupts. Paul London introduces himself and asks Vince for a try out. The boss is pretty upset for being interrupted. He gives London his shot, against Brock Lesnar. Oh, it's also for the WWE Title.

Big Show is walking through the craft service, backstage. He sees one of the production guys eating a burrito and promptly beats him up. I'd be mad to for being stuck in such a lowbrow and stupid angle. As for the production guy, well, he got to be on TV.

Footage of Zach Gowen arriving at the arena earlier in the day is shown.

Match #3- Big Show vs. Orlando Jordan

It's a return match for last week, when all this nonsense started. Jordan gets in a little offense, but other than that this match was a total squash.

Winners via pinfall - Big Show

Josh Matthews catches up with Eddie Guerrero backstage. Eddie tells him that he isn't worried about any retaliation from Big Show. Big Show breaks up the interview and almost breaks up Eddie, too.

Kurt Angle vs. John Cena - Rap Battle

Angle put up the challenge to Cena in this lyrical fight. Tazz MC'ed the fight. Cena went first, ripping Angle's gimmick. Angle stopped Cena before he got vulgar. Angle admitted he won't win the battle, and decides to tell a story instead. He finishes by telling Cena he didn't come here to rap; he came to fight. Angle beats Cena senseless, tossing him into the barricade and steel steps. Back in the ring, Cena fights back, but Angle counters an F-U with rolling German suplexes. Cena then scurries from the ring, before Angle can slap on the ankle lock.

Match #4 - Shannon Moore vs. Zach Gowen

Matt Hardy joins Cole and Tazz to add his two cents. Moore takes time to make fun of Gowen, who responds with a drop kick to the back of Moore's head. Moore responds with a suplex, that drops Gowen into the turnbuckle. Gowen fights back with a DDT. Hardy goes to the ring apron, only to get a kick from Gowen. Gowen goes to the top rope, but Hardy pushed him off. Moore hits a swinging neck breaker and pins Gowen for a three count.

Winner via pinfall: Shannon Moore

Undertaker is shown leaving Steph's office.

Match #5 - Chris Benoit and the APA vs. The Basham Brothers and A-Train

The Bashams attack the APA with chairs as the walk to the ring. Benoit tries to make the save, but is picked off by A-Train. Farooq is taken to the back as the match starts. Bradshaw is worked over by both Bashams, until he powers out of the corner with a big boot and clothesline. Benoit tags in and cleans house. He then locks in a sharpshooter on A-Train and then one of the Bashams. The Basham taps, but he isn't the legal man. A-Train recovers and sets up Benoit for the "Train Wreck". He then pins Benoit for the win. The beating then continues on both men after the bell.

Winner via pin-fall: The Basham Brothers and A-Train

Match #6 - Brock Lesnar vs. Paul London

Lesnar grabs a mike and tells London he's pretty upset that he has to wrestle tonight. Lesnar does respect that London has the testicular fortitude to show up, though. Lesnar invites London to touch his title belt. DON'T DO IT PAUL. After some trepidation, London reaches out to touch the gold, and Lesnar crushes him with a clothesline. I told you not to do it. London never gets a shot in and is squashed by the champ.

Winner via pinfall: Brock Lesnar

After the match, Lesnar tosses London from the ring. He picks him up and goes for an F-5 into the ring post. London is saved by Spanky. His heroism doesn't get him much as Lesnar tosses him into the ring post. Undertaker walks out and stops Lesnar destruction. He informs that champ that their match at No Mercy has changed. It's now a Biker Chain match. Whatever that is. Brock looks as confused as I am.

Josh Matthews, who is earning his money tonight, is back at the trainer's room to get an update on Eddie Guerrero. Chavo tells Matthews his uncle is pretty messed up, but they will get revenge.

Match #7 - Chavo Guerrero vs. Big Show

This isn't so much a match as a set up. Chavo calls out Show. Show refuses to fight because he is all dressed up to go out. Chavo tries to goad Show into a fight. Show balks, until Chavo calls him a chicken. Show hits the ring and the bell sounds. Chavo runs, and is counted out. That's when Eddie shows up in the truck. He proceeds to explain to Show what he is going to do. Show tries to run, but Chavo trips him going up the ramp. Eddie unleashes the contents of the truck on Big Show. Show is left face down in sewage as the show ends.

Dale Plummer is a rookie on the Slam! Wrestling staff. Dale hopes the New York Ranger's season isn't as bad as current WWE programming. If so, it's going to be a looooong winter.