See last week's recap.) This week is no different as Michael Cole and Tazz call the action from the Bradley Center in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. " />

 

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   Fri, October 3, 2003



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Smackdown: Bad burritos, Lesnar battered
By DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling


No Mercy maybe a few weeks away, but many fans, including your truly, feel that WWE has taken the No Mercy theme to heart. Every week I become more and more convinced that Vince McMahon is going senile, and he hates the fans. (See last week's recap.) This week is no different as Michael Cole and Tazz call the action from the Bradley Center in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

Match #1 - Eddie Guerrero with Chavo vs. Matt Hardy v(1.0) with Shannon Moore - U.S. Title Match

An actual wrestling match starts off the show. Eddie isn't pulling double duty this week, as he is only scheduled to defend the U.S. Title. Latino Heat jumps on Hardy early, but Shannon Moore grabs him on the apron. This allows Hardy to drop Guerrero on the ropes. Hardy is able to hit a Side Effect, but cannot get the pin. Eddie rolls out from under an elbow drop, and nails a series of vertical suplexes. Guerrero goes to the top turnbuckle, but Hardy cuts him off. Hardy connects with a superplex, but once again cannot get a pin. The tables are turned, when Hardy, going up top, is met with a hurricarana off the top rope. Hardy tries for the Side Effect again, but Eddie counters with an arm drag. Hardy distracts the ref, Moore runs in with the belt. Guerrero greets him with a drop kick, and picks up the belt. He tosses it to Hardy and feigns a headshot. The ref takes the belt from Hardy, giving Chavo time to run in and nail Hardy with a tag team belt. Eddie scurries to the top rope and nails a Frogsplash. He covers Hardy for the 1-2-3.

Winner via pin-fall and still U.S. Champ: Eddie Guerrero

A plug for Bradshaw's books airs. "Have more money now", sounds like a good idea to me. I've seen Bradshaw on CNBC before, and he wasn't rating WWE stock as a "good buy", either.

Wrestlemaina XX tickets went on sale! Why didn't someone tell me? Well, judging by the footage from Madison Square Garden over the weekend, I should be able to get tickets ... for a couple thousand dollars!

Earlier tonight, Josh Matthews interviewed John Cena, if you can call getting made fun of an interview. In short, Cena said he would no longer stand in Angle's shadow.

Los Guerreros run into the Big Show in the back. Eddie wants to know if last week's attack was personal or if Show was just in a bad mood. Big Show tells the Guerreros he doesn't like their kind. Oh, he enjoys the food, but not the people. He then takes out both Guerreros with a push. Chavo reads Eddie the riot act for not fighting back. Eddie tells his nephew that he'll take care of things.

I usually don't talk about commercials during the show, but I'll make an exception here. UPN is showing Ready to Rumble this week. Does anyone else think this movie helped to bring down WCW? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Match #2- APA vs. The Basham Brothers with Shanequa

The APA waste little time in trying to waste the Bashams. If you put some camouflage pants on the Bashams, they'd look like Junior Bushwackers, just a thought. Bradshaw finds himself outside the ring after a ref bump. Shanequa kicks him in the face, leaving Farooq or Simmons, you pick, inside the ring with both brothers. After a double team move, the ref comes around and counts the 1-2-3 as the Bashams pick up the win. Bradshaw hits the ring, and cleans house. Shanequa tries for a kick to the gut, but Bradshaw catches her. He then lays her out with a Clothesline from Hell.

Winner via pin-fall: The Basham Brothers

After a commercial break, we find that A-Train has joined Cole and Tazz at the announce table. There is absolutely "No Mercy" being shown as the WWE continues to force A-Train down our throats.

Match #3- Chris Benoit vs. Charlie Haas

This match serves one purpose, to carry on the Benoit/A-Train feud. It's shame, too. Haas and Benoit really work well together in the ring, and a singles feud between those two would be awesome. Benoit slaps the cross face on Haas, only to have A-train run in and break it up. Haas is disqualified and A-Train puts Benoit in the CCF. Four refs try to break it up, but are chased from the ring by the hairy one.

Winner via DQ - Chris Benoit

I almost didn't think we'd see Vince in the first hour of the show, but with 10 minutes to go here he comes, with Sable at his side. Vince is here to give Steph a second chance. She can come out and rescind the title match at No Mercy between Undertaker and Brock Lesnar, and then she won't have to wrestle, either. Steph comes out and sticks to her guns. The title match will happen. Vince rambles some more, and adds another stipulation to his macth. If Steph loses the "I Quit" match, she must also quit as GM of Smackdown! Sable calls Steph a nasty name, and that leads to a catfight. Vince breaks it up by picking his daughter up by the hair. He then body slams her to the mat. He goes for another, but Undertaker hits the ring. Vince goes toe-to-toe with the Deadman, but one punch puts the owner down. Taker sets ups for a chokeslam, but instead drops Vince and wheels around to catch Brock Lesnar with boot out of nowhere.

There's a delivery for Eddie Guerrero. It's some of those world famous Milwaukee burritos. You know, it's Milwaukee the city of beer, bratwurst, and burritos, and apparently Mexican deliver men, too. Show takes some for him, and then adds some special sauce to one of the burritos for Eddie.

Match #4- Tajiri vs. Billy Kidman - Cruiserweight Title Match

Kidman starts things off with a head scissors on Tajiri. The Japanese buzz saw rolls out of the ring, but Kidman hits him with a splash over the top rope. Back in the ring, Tajiri responds with multiple kicks to Kidman's shoulder. Kidman hits a BK bomb, but cannot get a pinfall. Tajiri takes control with the tarantula, but Kidman ducks a kick to the head. He counters with a standing drop kick. Tajiri stumbles to the corner, with Kidman following. Tajiri nails a low blow mule kick, and then mocks Kidman by bowing to him. A kick to the head finished off Kidman, and Tajiri retains his belt.

Winner via pinfall and still Cruiserweight Champion: Tajiri

More promotional interviews for The Rundown. I can admit I was wrong, I guess the movie doesn't suck. You know what that means; The Rock isn't ever coming back. Nick Tylwalk was right! The Rock has gone to Hollywood, so deal with it.

Match #5- Big Show vs. Orlando Jordan

Big Show looks a little queasy in the ring. He fights off Jordan, but he looks ill. After a clothesline to Jordan, Show clears out and heads to the back, clutching the back of his trunks to whole way. Jordan picks up the win after Show gets counted out.

Winner via count out: Orlando Jordan

Zach Gowen is at home in Detroit recovering from injuries sustained at the hands of Brock Lesnar. He tells Cole that he'll be back next week.

WWE has hit a new low, toilet humor. Big Show is in a bathroom stall. Eddie Guerrero walks in and informs Show he sent those burritos to him, and they were laced them with some special sauce of his own. You get the idea; if you want the sound effects, buy a whoopee cushion. Eddie says his revenge has nothing on Montezuma.

Match #6- John Cena and Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker and Kurt Angle

Angle and Cena start things off, but Taker soon tags in. He lifts Cena over his head, before dropping him to the mat. Cena then gets a lesson in the old school from Taker. Angle tags back in, and takes a spill to the outside, when Lesnar pulled the ropes down. Lesnar picks up the Olympic hero and drives him into the ring apron. After a poorly timed commercial break, Lesnar is taking to Angle inside the ring. Cena jumps in for the double team. Angle reverses a press slam into a German suplex on Lesnar. Angle makes the tag, but the ref deosn't see it and orders Taker to leave the ring. Cena walks into an ankle lock, but Lesnar breaks it up. Taker finally tags in and cleans house. He drops Lesnar on the turnbuckle, and then clotheslines him out of the ring. He follows with a big boot to Cena and then a chokeslam. Lesnar dives back in and breaks the pin. Lesnar destroys Taker with a spinebuster, but Angle is able to tag back in. He hits belly-to-belly suplexes on both heels. He follows with rolling germans on Cena. Cena grabs his chain out of the corner and hides it. Lesnar breaks up another ankle lock. As Lesnar is chastised for interfering, Cena lays out Angle with the chain, and pins him.

Winner via pinfall: John Cena and Brock Lesnar

Undertaker continues fighting Lesnar outside the ring. Taker is thrown into the steel steps. Lesnar prepares the announce table for an F-5. Undertaker fights out of the F-5 attempt, and instead chokeslams Lesnar through the table. The show ends with Lesnar lying battered and beaten in the remnants of the announce table.

Dale Plummer is still a rookie on the SLAM! Wrestling staff. Dale will avoid the burritos if he ever visits Milwaukee.