September 26, 2003
Smackdown!: 'No Mercy' means no mercy for fans
By DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling
After seeing two titles change hands last week on Smackdown! could more gold be on the move tonight? Michael Cole and Tazz bring us all the action from the "Your Bank's Name Here" Center in Philadelphia, PA.
I think Vince McMahon hates us all. I'll explain later. The Chairman's music hits and he struts to the ring with Sable. Vince wants to have a special ceremony for the newly crowned WWE Champion, Brock Lesnar. Instead of the new champ, Vince gets the old champ, Kurt Angle, instead. Angle makes his way to the ring, but Vince decides to talk for him. He says Angle wants to cry about losing his title. Vince tells Kurt that there will be no rematch. He'll have to start at the bottom and work his way back to the top. Angle snatches the mike from Vince's hand. He calls out Lesnar, and if the champ won't come to him, he'll find him in the back. Music hits, but its John Cena's, not Lesnar's. Cena only gets a verse out, before Angle lays him out and tosses him from the ring. Angle has waited long enough, and sprints to the back. Backstage, he finds Brock's locker room, but no Brock. Cena then jumps Angle in the hallway. Cena makes for the parking lot and drives off. Angle follows, and commandeers Vince's limo to take chase.
Match #1 - Los Guerreros vs. Matt Hardy v(1.0) and Shannon Moore - WWE Tag Team Championship Match
Eddie and Matt start things off, but Latino Heat quickly tags out. Chavo is pulled from the ring by Moore, and then Hardy lands a drop kick that sends Chavo into the announce table. Chavo is then double teamed in the ring. Eddie gets the tag in and lands his arm drag/head scissors move on Hardy and Moore. Moore fights back with a swinging neckbreaker, but Chavo saves his uncle with a cross body block. Hardy breaks up the pin. Hardy sets up Eddie for a Twist of Fate, the Latino Heat counters. Moore tries a high-risk maneuver off the top rope and misses. Chavo nails him with back suplex, setting him up for a frog splash from Eddie. Eddie nails it, and pins Moore to retain the tag team belts.
Winners via pin-fall and still Tag Team Champs: Los Guerreros
After the match, Chavo heads back to the lowrider, but Eddie stays in the ring to celebrate the win. Hardy ambushes Eddie in the ring. Latino Heat is driven onto the belts with a Side Effect from Hardy.
After the break, we see Charlie Haas, Eddie opponent for tonight's U.S. Title match. Haas picks up were Hardy left off, and locks Guerrero in the "Haas of Pain".
A-Train makes his way to the ring to run his mouth. He is upset that everyone is saying that he can't beat Benoit. Train says he can beat anyone, even challenging the crowd to a fight. A-Train challenges Cole and then Tazz to a fight. OK, beating up Cole will show how tough you are. Instead, Train grabs the timekeeper and drags him into the ring. He slaps the Crippler Cross Face on him. Benoit runs in from the back. A-Train powers him into the turnbuckle. Benoit dodges a charge and slaps a CCF on the big man. A-Train over powers Benoit and dumps him over the ropes to the floor. Benoit then tastes steel as A-Train nails him with a chair.
Eddie Guerrero is getting treatment for his back. The doctor doesn't think Eddie should wrestle anymore tonight. Latino Heat will have no part off that, and will go on.
Sable and Vince are playing nice in his office. Vince is still married, right? Watching him you wouldn't know it. Linda McMahon does watch Smackdown, right? A production assistant interrupts the fun. Vince chews him out for being late, but then tells him that the ceremony for Brock will go on, so be ready.
Josh Matthews asks Charlie Haas why he attacked Eddie. Haas says Guerrero got what he deserved. Not only did Eddie and Chavo take his tag titles, and they hurt his partner, Shelton Benjiman. Haas vows to take Eddie's U.S. Titles.
Promotional stuff for The Rock's new movie. Face it, people, he ain't coming back.
Match #2- Rey Misterio vs. Tajiri - WWE Cruiserweight Title Match
Both men size each other up. Tajiri slams Misterio to the mat, and drops a knee on his head. Rey fights back with a head scissors. Tajiri is able to lock in the tarantula on Misterio. The Japanese buzzsaw then distracts the ref and tries for the mist. Misterio counters with a few kicks to the head, and a green liquid leaks from Tajiri's mouth. After the break, the action is still going back and forth. Tajiri is focusing on Misterio mid sections with kicks and a gut wrench. Misterio ducks a kick, which catches the ref in the head. Brain Hebner is out cold. Misterio is woozy, but is able to counter a handspring elbow, setting up Tajiri for a 619. Tajiri dodges the West Coast Pop, and lands a kick to Misterio's face. A new ref comes down to make the count, but Tajiri can only get two. Misterio pins Tajiri, but he new ref is checking on Hebner. This gives Tajiri the opportunity to use the red mist, and pin Misterio for the win.
Winner via pin-fall and new Cruiserweight Title: Tajiri
The WWE has joined forces with Hip-Hop to get people to register to vote.
Match #3- The Basham Brothers with Shanequa vs. Jaime Noble with Nidia and ???
Noble comes out with mike in hand. He tells the Bashams that since Billy Gunn is hurt he has hired a new partner. Hmmm - I wonder who it is? It's Bradshaw. And Noble's money is well spent, as a Clothesline form Hell takes care of one of the Bashams. Bradshaw is all set to get the win when Shanequa interferes.
Winners via DQ - Jaime Noble and Bradshaw
Big Show make an unscheduled appearance. He makes his way to the announce position to offer commentary.
Match #4 - Eddie Guerrero vs. Charlie Haas - U.S. Title Match
As soon as Guerrero starts making his way to the ring, Big Show gets up and head to the back. The two stare each other down as the pass. Big Show then jumps Eddie and slams him into the ring post. Haas goes to work on Eddie on the outside, before rolling him into the ring to start the match. Chavo comes down to help his Uncle, and buys Eddie time to get to the ropes after being pinned. Latino Heat, locked in the Haas of Pain, doesn't tap. A frustrated Haas grabs the title belt, only to have the ref take it away. Guerrero places the belt on the top turnbuckle. Haas attempts to splash Eddie in the corner, but instead goes face first into the belt. Eddie scrambles to the top rope, and hits a frogsplash. He pins Haas to retain the title.
Winner via pinfall and still U.S. Champion - Eddie Guerrero
Once again, Vince and Sable are in the ring. Vince demands the crowd get on their feet for the new champ. Lesnar hits the ring and the love fest ensues. Brock runs his mouth for a while, until Undertaker crashes the party. The Dead Man says he didn't interfere last week out of respect for the belt, but he doesn't respect Brock. He tells Lesnar to enjoy that title, because he's gonna take it at No Mercy. Vince jumps in, asking ėTaker by who's authority is this match being made. Cue Steph's music. The GM makes her way to the ring, and tells daddy that she made the match. Vince has a brainstorm. He tells Steph to take back the title match, or she'll have to face him at No Mercy. See, I told you Vince hates us. And it's an I Quit match. I guess No Mercy means no mercy for the fans. Steph sticks to her guns, and won't change the championship match. Lesnar blindsides Undertaker, and Steph scurries from the ring. Undertaker doesn't stay down long, as he grabs Brock by the throat. Brock is chokeslammed to the mat, and Undertaker stands over him as the show ends.
Dale Plummer is a rookie on the Slam! Wrestling staff. Dale challenges RAW reporter Nick Tylwalk to an I QUIT match at No Mercy. The first one to stop watching the Steph/Vince match loses.