Smackdown!: Brock, Angle put on a classic
DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling
There's a high wind advisory tonight, and I'm not talking about the winds here in Pennsylvania due to Hurricane Isabel. Which happens to be cutting out my cable, stupid storm. No, I'm talking about the winds of change in the WWE. Two titles are on the line tonight as Kurt Angle defends the WWE Championship in a one-hour Ironman match, and Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjiman also put their belts on the line. Michael Cole and Tazz join us from the campus of North Carolina State.
In between the static, Vince McMahon hypes tonight's Ironman match. It's a first ever on free TV, well it's not really free, but that's a lesson left for another time. Like when my cable cuts out, again! I guess the Undertaker interrupted Vince, because he is telling the boss the he won't interfere in the championship match tonight. The gist of it was a respect thing. He emphasizes though, he has no respect for McMahon.
Match #1 - Rey Misterio and Chris Benoit vs. Tajiri and Rhyno
Benoit and Tajiri start things off. Benoit is caught in a tarantula, but the ref holds Misterio back when he tries to break the hold. Tajiri and Rhyno work well as a tag team, until Rhyno gets a face full of the green mist that was intended for Misterio. Benoit hits a series of German suplexes on Tajiri, while Misterio nails the 619 on Rhyno. Misterio follows up by dropping the dime, and pins Rhyno for the win.
Winners via pin-fall: Rey Misterio and Chris Benoit
Guess who's on the cover of the next issue of GQ? If you said me, thanks, but you are sadly mistaken. It's The Rock! I'm still not buying it, and I'm not seeing his new movie either. Have you seen the trailer? Can you say straight to video?
Match #2 - Shanequa vs. Torrie Wilson and Nidia with Dawn Marie
This match is billed as two on one. There are SO many jokes I want to make here, but I also would like to continue writing for SLAM! Shanequa is joined by the Basham Brothers, but she sends them back to the locker room before even heading down the ramp. Torrie and Nidia jump Shanequa before she even enters the ring, and beat her down on the floor. Shanequa is thrown back in the ring and is met with some hard chops to the chest from Nidia. The Amazon fights back, though, and takes out both opponents with a dual clothesline. Torrie is tossed from the ring, so Shanequa can go to work on Nidia. It doesn't take long, as a powerbomb incapacitates Nidia, and Shanequa pins her for the win. Dawn Marie jumps in the ring to check on Nidia and gets boot to her face for the effort. Shanequa isn't done there, as she tosses Dawn Marie into the ring post on the outside.
Winner via pin-fall: Shanequa
Stephanie is on the phone when Vince, Big Show, and Sable interrupt. I'll sum up the conversation. Steph: You can't make me quit. Vince: Oh, I will. Steph: Why don't you fire me? Vince: You like it rough. I'll play rough. You'll be begging me to quit. The good news, this was the last McMahon segment tonight!
After my cable came back, Chavo is talking with Eddie in the locker room. He got Los Guerreros a title shot tonight for the Tag Titles. Chavo says he did it for Eddie. He thinks he uncle will look good with dual gold straps.
John Cena is on the roof of the arena. That has to be an OSHA violation. He cuts a rap on how he will win the U.S. Title next week. He also cuts on John Ritter, which is mysteriously muted on my broadcast. Stupid hurricane!
Match #3ñ Los Guerreros vs. The self-proclaimed World's greatest tag team - WWE Tag Team Championship.
The Guerreros roll to the ring is a phat low rider. The crowd is heavily behind Eddie in this match. Latino Heat dominates early and his nephew follows suit, as the tag champs look nothing like that. After a commercial, Eddie hits an armbar on Benjiman and a leg scissors on Haas at the same time off the top rope. Eddie goes back to the top rope, but doesn't hit the frogsplash, instead taking to the mat the easy way. On the outside Haas grabs two chairs, one he tosses to his partner. Benjiman doesn't get a chance to use it. Chavo takes him out at the knees. Benjamin rolls out of the ring in pain, and Haas is left alone with the Guerrero boys. Chavo suplexes Haas and Eddie finishes him off with a frog splash. Eddie pins him for the win and the Tag Team Title!
Winner via pin-fall and new tag team champs: Los Guerreros
The APA is branching out into bookmaking. They are currently taking bets on the Ironman match. Want a longshot? Odds on a McMahon not getting involved tonight 100-1. The over under on F-5's is standing at 4.5.
Match #4- Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle ñ Ironman Match for the WWE Title
Just in case you don't know or remember, I'll recap the rules to this thing. The wrestler who records the most number of pin-falls in an hour wins. A pin fall is a three count, submission, count out or DQ. There will be a 15 second rest period after each pinfall. All normal match rules apply.
Lesnar starts the match out by jumping Angle before he can even take the title belt off. Lesnar frustrates the champ by stalling outside the ring. Brock wants no part of Angle's mat wrestling style. Angle has seen enough and fights Brock on the outside. Angle is thrown into the ringpost, and crawls back into the ring. Lesnar joins him in the ring with a steel chair. Lesnar belts Angle with the chairshot to the head. Brian Hebner calls for the bell; disqualifying Lesnar, and giving Angle the first pinfall.
Angle scores via DQ. Angle leads 1-0
Lesnar uses the rest period to demand water from the announce table. Angle is still out cold in the ring. Lesnar F-5's the champs and pins him for a three count.
Lesnar scores via pinfall. Match tied 1-1
Angle is still feeling the effects of the chair shot, and Lesnat takes advantage. Brock slaps an ankle lock on Angle and makes the champ tap to his own move.
Lesnar scores via submission. Lesnar leads 2-1
After a commercial break, the WWE shows us what we missed. Lesnar stole another move from Angle, but couldn't get the pin after an Angle Slam. Angle turns the tables by dodging a shoulder block in the corner, sending Lesnar hard into the ring post. Lesnar is tossed to the outside after a series of rolling german suplexes. Angle follows him, only to be F-5'ed on the floor. Lesnar rolls back into the ring, and Angle is counted out.
Lesnar scores via count out. Lesnar leads 3-1
Angle regains momentum after two huge overhead suplexes. The champ quickly follows with and Angle Slam and pins Lesnar for a three count.
Angle scores via pin-fall. Lesnar still leads 3-2
The action is starting to really pick up. Lesnar counters an Angle Slam into and F-5, but Angle counters that into the ankle lock. Lesanr kicks out of it, with Angle almost taking out the ref. Lesnar does take out the stripes with a clothesline that was meant for Angle. The champ nails another Angle slam, but there is no ref to make the count. Lesnar gains the upper hand with a low blow. He then heads outside the ring and grabs the title belt. He almost implants it in Angles skull with a vicious shot. Lesnar climbs on top of Angle and gets a three count from a still groggy Brian Hebner.
Lesnar scores via pin-fall. Lesnar leads 4-2
Lesnar and Angle fight to the floor again. Angle throws the challenger into the steps. Angle, in desperation, goes to the top rope and plants a double axe-handle into Lesnar's back. Lesnar is thrown back into the ring, but Angle only gets a two count. Angle climbs the ropes again, and tattoos Lesnar with a missile drop kick. Angle still can't get a pin. Angle goes high risk again, but this time Lesnar rolls out of the way of the moonsault. Lesnar goes for the pin, but Angle is able to slap on the ankle lock. Lesnar counters and tosses Angle out of the ring. Lesnar picks up the steps, but an alert Angle slide kicks them back into Lesnar face. Angle still can't get a pin after brining Lesnar back into the ring. After a commercial, Lesnar superplexes Angle off the top rope and is able to pin the champ once again.
Lesnar scores via pin-fall. Lesnar leads 5-2
Back outside the ring Lesnar goes for his signature move once again. Angel counters and sets up Lesnar for an F-5 of his own. Angle hits it into the ring post. Lesnar is rolled back into the ring and Angle slaps on a half-crab to Lesnar injured leg. Brock is able to get a rope break. Angle quickly ties Brock up with an ankle lock. Lesnar breaks the hold by grabbing the ropes. Lesnar hits another F-5 on Angle. The champ kicks out of the pin. Lesnar climbs to the top rope, but Angle meets him there and superplexes Lesanr. Angle pins him for a three count.
Angle scores via pin-fall. Lesnar leads 5-3
Angle, trying to pick up quick points, has an Angel slam counter with a DDT. Lesnar can't make the pin. Lesnar tries a suplex, but Angle is able to counter into the ankle lock. Lesnar taps.
Angle scores via submission. Lesnar leads 5-4
With less the 5 minutes to go Angle needs one more point to force overtime. Lesnar is stalling once again. Angle catches him on the outside and applies an ankle lock. Angle gets Brock back in the ring and hits 6 german suplexes in a row. Lesnar grabs the ref, and mule kicks Angle in the groin. Hebner deosn't see it. Angle is able to slap the ankle lock again. Lesnar is fighting off the pain as the clock ticks down to zero. Lesnar doesn't tap and holds on to win the Ironman match 5-4.
Winner 5-4 and new WWE Champion: Brock Lesnar
This was a great match with both men putting everything on the line. Lesnar could barely celebrate his win. He was shown crawling to the ramp, exhausted, as Smackdown! went of the air.
Dale Plummer is a rookie on the Slam! Wrestling staff. Dale will be performing his own Ironman stunt by watching the last two weeks of RAW back-to-back before attending Unforgiven on Sunday at the Giant Center in Hershey, Pennsylvania.