August 15, 2003
Smackdown: Lesnar's bad, A-Train's worse
By DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling
The electricity is on and flowing here in Pennsylvania's capitol of Harrisburg, so those of you that are in the dark, tonight, I'll shed some light on Smackdown! It's only 10 days until Summer Slam as we join Michael Cole and Tazz in St. Louis.
Vince McMahon kicks the show off. I wonder what's on his mind, tonight? He is going to introduce us to someone tonight. It's someone we thought we knew, but we really don't know him. It's "The Real Brock Lesnar." He is a sadistic animal according to Vince. For those of you who didn't watch last week, Lesnar's heel turn is recapped, and Vince loves every second of it. Vince then tells Kurt Angle, who is recovering back home -- he will face the music next week.
Speaking of music, Lesnar's hits and the "Manster" makes his way to the ring. Lesnar explains his actions last week. He tells us that Kurt was his friend, up until he won the WWE Title at Vengeance. Vince jumps in and announces that Angle will defend his belt at Summer Slam against Lesnar. General Manager Stephanie McMahon crashed the party. She stands up to her father. Telling Vince she won't quit, and that he'll have to fire her. She goes on to say that he is garbage as a father and husband. Vince retorts by calling his daughter a disappointment, and the worst investment he's made since marrying his wife. Steph tries to slap her dad, but Lesnar grabs her arm. Vince retaliates by booking his daughter in a match with A-train.
Match #1 - Rey Misterio and Billy Kidman vs. The Self-Processed World's Greatest Tag Team - WWE Tag Team Championship match
Kidman, fresh off his honeymoon, and Charlie Haas start things off. A leg scissors takes Haas down, but the Seton Hall grad recovers and fights Kidman into the corner, where he is double-teamed. Kidman fights it off, and Benjiman tags in. Kidman, selling the leg work, is able to tag in Misterio. Benjiman catches Misterio in mid-air, but Misterio is able to counter with a modified DDT. Benjiman isn't down long, and almost picks up the win with a T-bone suplex. Kidman breaks up the pinfall, to save the match. Kidman then hits a cross body block over the top rope to floor on Haas. Benjiman falls to a spinning hurricarana off the top rope, but is able to kick out. After a commercial break, that gives me a chance to check out some pre-season football, the action is fast and furious. Haas breaks up a 619 attempt, by back dropping Misterio over the top rope. Haas the tags in, as Misterio make his way back into the ring. Haas and Benjiman double-team the cruiserweight champ, dropping him across Haas's knee. Benjiman then locks in a bear hug. Haas and Benjiman continue to double-team Misterio, who cannot get to his corner for a tag. When Kidman finally gets the tag, he comes in and cleans house. Haas and Kidman go to the top rope, where Misterio jumps in and powerbombs Haas to the mat. Kidman hits the Shooting Star Press as Misterio hits a 619 on Benjiman. Kidman only gets a two count. Misterio grabs his title belt on the outside, but the ref sees him. What the ref doesn't see is Benjiman nailing Kidman with the ring bell. Haas covers Kidman and gets the victory.
Winners via pin-fall and still WWE Tag Team Champions: The Self-Processed World's Greatest Tag Team
Match #2 - Danny Basham w/ Doug Basham and Shanequa vs. Billy Gunn w/ Torrie Wilson
Gunn dominates this match early. Danny Basham can't get any offense in. Shanequa attacks Torrie and throws her into the ring. This provides enough distraction for Doug to jump in and help his brother take out Gunn. The ref doesn't see a thing, and Danny picks up the win.
Winner via pin-fall: Danny Basham
After the match, the Basham beat down Gunn even more, but then turn their attention on Torrie. Torrie is huddle in the corner, and Shanequa grabs her by the hair. She proceeds to body slam her in the middle of the ring. Jamie Noble and Nidia run to the aid of their new "friends." But the trailer-park couple is over powered by the Bashams. Noble is laid out by a spinebuster from the second rope, and Nidia is powerbombed by Shanequa.
The APA is watching in the back. Bradshaw is convinced that Shanequa is really Sheldon Benjiman in drag. They two then discuss re-opening the business. We never do get an answer, though.
The Big Show is seen leaving Vince McMahon's office.
Match #3- The Big Show vs. The Undertaker
Undertaker still isn't fully healed from his battle with John Cena. The Dead Man walks into a choke slam, but reverses it into an arm bar, that has The Big Show writhing in pain. 'Taker then takes Show down with a DDT, and drags him to the ring apron, where he drops a leg across the giant. Undertaker is in control after going Old School. Big Show regains momentum with a side slam. Show then nails Taker with a clothesline and starts stomping on the injured ribs. Undertaker ducks a big boot and Show gets caught up on the ropes. Big Show is then knocked to the floor. Big Show recovers and rams Undertaker into the steel steps. Undertaker reverses an Irish Whip and Big Show is rammed into the ring post. The fight spills over the security barrier, into the crowd. Undertaker is in control, until A-Train comes through the crowd and nail Undertaker with a 2x4. The ref starts the ten count. Big Show is able to get back in the ring, and Undertaker is counted out.
Winner via count out: The Big Show
During the break, Undertaker, in obvious pain, is seen receiving medical attention.
Match #4- Rhyno vs. Tajiri
Eddie Guerrero rolls out in a low-rider truck, and joins Cole and Tazz at ringside. Chris Benoit follows, also joining in at the announce table. Tajiri picks up the win after dodging a Gore, which sent Rhyno into an exposed turnbuckle. A kick to head from Tajiri finished off the man beast.
Winner via pinfall: Tajiri
Guerrero takes off after the match with Benoit in hot pursuit. Benoit wants a ride in the truck. They both get in and Benoit annoys the hell out of Guerrero, until Latino Heat just gets out of the truck and leaves.
Match #5 - Zach Gowan vs. John Cena
John Cena has his own shirt! I know what I'm buying at the next live event I see! Cena insults Zach by, GASP!, making fun of his missing leg. Cena uses his "Ground and Pound" attack effectively to keep Gowan down. He sets Gowan up for the F-U, but just drops him. Cena decides to hit the F-U off the top turnbuckle. He sets up the move, but Gowan counters on the way down with an armbar. The one-legged wonder hits a springboard leg lariat, followed by a bulldog. Gowan tries a cross body block, but Cena rolls through it. He picks up Gowan and finally hits the F-U for the win.
Winner via pin-fall: John Cena
Steph is backstage getting ready and she looks terrified. She then runs into her opponent, A-Train. The hairy one tells her that he was paid to take her out at Vengeance, but he would have done it for free. He also informs Steph that he like it rough, and she should too.
After the commercial, we see footage of Matt Hardy punking Zach Gowan after his match with Cena.
In the catering area, Spanky, Funaki, and Orlando Jordan are hanging out. Spanky impresses the two by chugging two bottles of chocolate syrup. In his zeal, he accidentally sprays Vince McMahon. Bad move. Vince is more then angry. He calls Spanky a stain on life, like the stains on his jacket. Spanky then makes fun of Vince's investment in the XFL. That pushes Vince too far and he orders Spanky to the ring, to face Brock Lesnar.
Match #6 - Spanky vs. Brock Lesnar
Lesnar destroys Spanky. After three powerbombs, Lesnar grabs a steel chair. Lesnar chases the ref after one vicious shot to the kid. The ref eventually disqualifies Lesnar, but that doesn't stop him. He bust Spanky wide open with more chair shots, and it doesn't stop there. Lesnar picks up the poor kid and throws him into the ring post from five feet away. It was brutal. Vince then comes out and celebrates with his new ally.
Backstage, Steph looks like she's gonna cry.
Match #7 - Stephanie McMahon vs. A-Train
Vince sticks around to see this in person. First he announces a special ring announcer, Sable. Sable announces Steph as whom she beat at Vengeance, and that the match is now a no-count out affair. Steph gets to the ring and jumps Sable for some good, old-fashioned catfight action. The A-Train's music hits, and Steph freezes. A-Train tosses the GM across the ring, after she slaps him. Dead man walking! Undertaker tries to make things right. A-Train runs out to meet him and is met with a chair shot. 'Taker is taking it to A-Train, when Big Show lays out the Dead Man from behind. A-Train heads back to the ring to finish the job. He drags Steph into the corner and hits a splash form the middle turnbuckle. He pins her for the win.
Winner via pin-fall: A-Train
After the match Vince and Sable enter the ring. With Steph writhing in pain, Vince and Sable kiss in the middle of the ring.
Dale Plummer is a rookie on the SLAM! Wrestling staff. Dale can't wait to get his hands on Cena's new shirt, if anyone wants to buy it for him please drop him an email for contact information.