August 1, 2003
Smackdown!: McMahon tests Angle, Lesnar
By DALE PLUMMER -- SLAM! Wrestling
It's been four days, or two according to Michael Cole, since the first Smackdown! only Pay-Per-View, and you know what that means. Still photos of the action from Sunday to start the show!†Tazz also joins us at the announce position from Colorado Springs.
Newly crowned WWE Champion Kurt Angle starts the show off with a bang. After the "U-S-A" chants die down, the Olympic hero grabs the stick and asks the crowd if there was any doubt that he was going to win. Angle calls the win the highlight of his career, since four months ago he didn't know if he'd ever wrestle again. Winning the belt again is a dream come true for Angle. The lights go out and here comes the pain, in the form of Brock Lesnar. Lesnar tells Angle he did the impossible in beating him for the title. He then challenges Angle to a rematch for his WWE Title. Angle acts like he won't accept, but then tells Brock he's on. Hold on though, since when can wrestlers that aren't dating the boss's daughter book their own matches? Cue Vince McMahon. The WWE chairman makes his way to ring, with some news for Brock. You see, Angle met with Vince earlier that day, and begged Vince not to put him in a rematch with Lesnar, or so Vince says. Vince tells Brock that he'll have to earn his rematch. Lesnar should take this up with his lawyer, don't all championship match contracts have an automatic rematch clause? Instead of the rematch tonight, then, Brock and Kurt will team up against opponents of Vince's choice.
Match #1- Rey Misterio with Billy Kidman vs. Shelton Benjiman with Charlie Haas
Misterio tries to finish Benjiman off fast with a 619 early in the match. Benjiman easily avoids it, and proceeds to throw Misterio into the ring post and then out of the ring. Haas tries for a cheap shot, but Billy Kidman scares him off, protecting his friend. Back in the ring, Benjiman gets a taste of the steel, as Misterio sends him flying into the ring post with a modified snap mare. Benjiman lands a flying armbar, pinning Misterio; only getting a two count. Haas tries to interfere, once again, but Kidman thwarts his efforts. This allows Misterio to hit the 619. Benjiman catches Misterio during the West Coast Pop, but Misterio reverses it into a victory roll and gets the pin.
Winner via pinfall: Rey Misterio
Next up, we see footage of Jamie Noble beating Billy Gunn at Vengeance. You know what that means, hotel fun! Noble is setting up his hotel room in anticipation of his big night with Torrie. The Playboy Playmate does show, looking less than enthusiastic. Noble shows off what he's got. No not that, I'm talking champagne, fruit, paddles, handcuffs÷I'll just stop right there, I'll feel sick. And so does Torrie, as she makes a bee-line for the bathroom.
Match #2 -† Chris Benoit vs. Rhyno
The Canadian Crippler is foaming at the mouth, ready to pummel his former friend. Rhyno doesn't come to the ring, though; instead he's on the video screen with a message. He feels Benoit treated him as a joke when they were a tag team, so Benoit has to wrestle a warm-up match. It's against someone who knows something about being funny, Doink the Clown.
Match #2 -† Chris Benoit vs. Doink
Doink takes his time getting to the ring. He entertains the crowd along the way, making balloon animals for the kids. Everyone loves a clown÷except for Benoit. He has seen enough, attacking Doink on the outside before the bell rings. Doink is eventually thrown into the ring, so the match is made official. After a huge back suplex off the top rope, Benoit finds the mark with a flying headbutt. He locks in the Crippler Cross Face, and the clown taps.
Winner via submission: Chris Benoit
After then match, Rhyno reappears on the video screen. Benoit tells him to come out and take it like a man. Sometimes you don't get what you want, Rhyno tells his former partner as he leaves arena.
Back across town, Torrie is feeling better. There's a knock at the door, and I don't think it's housekeeping. Noble answers the door, finding Nidia decked out in a fur coat. Nidia drops the coat to reveal that she's not wearing much else. She throws her man on the bed and goes to town, as Torrie looks on in disgust.
Brock Lesnar confronts Kurt Angle in the locker room concerning Vince's comments. Angle admits to talking to Vince, but all he told him was to remember what happened at Wrestlemania. Angle was looking out for the safety of both men.
Match #3 - Eddie Guerrero vs. Tajiri U.S. Championship Match
Eddie Guerrero rolls to the ring in a lowrider, but the hydraulics seem to be broken. Eddie checks the trunk and is met with a kicking from a hiding Tajiri. The Japanese buzzsaw then spits the green mist into his former tag team partners face, blinding him. Many referees intervene, as Guerrero is screaming in pain. Latino Heat tells the ref he cannot see, so he is unable to wrestle. Guerrero tries to make his way to the back, but referee feels that Eddie is okay to wrestle. And he must or forfeit the title.
Tajiri starts off with a flurry of offense. He gets Latino Heat wrapped up in the tree of woe, early. And then lands a baseball slide kick to the head. Guerrero regroups and tosses Tajiri to the outside. Back in the ring, a rear chin lock on Tajiri slows things down. Guerrero attempts a frog splash, but Tajiri is quick to his feet and hits a superplex. After a handspring elbow, Tajiri rocks Guerrero with a tornado DDT, but cannot get the pin. Guerrero is the able to land his rolling vertical suplexes, but can only pull two off. Guerrero distracts the ref, and low blows Tajiri. Tajiri has Guerrero lined up for another shot of mist, but he hits the ref instead. Guerrero uses this opportunity to hit Tajiri with the title belt, knocking him out. Latino Heat grabs a water bottle, flushes the eyes of the ref, thus reviving him. Eddie goes to the top rope, hits the Frog Splash, and retains his title.
Winner via pinfall and still U.S. Champ -† Eddie Guerrero
Match #4- Zach Gowen vs. Shannon Moore with Matt Hardy v(1.0)
Before the match, we see the story about Zach Gowen that aired on Confidential. Shannon Moore starts the match off by making fun of his opponent. Gowen shrugs it off, and tries for a tornado DDT. It's reversed into a northern lights suplex buy Moore. Matt Hardy then trips up Gowen from outside the ring. Moore takes advantage hitting a swinging neck breaker. Gowen comes back with a missle dropkick, followed by a moonsault. After a spinning neck breaker on Moore, Gowen takes out Hardy on the outside. The rookie is preoccupied with Hardy, though. This allows Moore to get the win with a schoolboy pin. After the match Hardy teaches Gowen a lesson. Hitting the kid with a Side Effect and a Twist of Fate.
Winner via pinfall: Shannon Moore
Match #5 -† John Cena vs. Orlando Jordan
Cena lays down the lyrics once again. He says he may have lost to ŽTaker, but he's not the one at home nursing his injuries. He also takes a shot at Undertaker and Orlando Jordan's profession relationship. Cena also demands a rematch. Jordan has heard enough, hitting Cena with a quick punch as soon as he gets in the ring. That's about the extent of Jordan's offense. Cena delivers the F-U and this match is over.
Winner via pinfall Ů John Cena
Back in the hotel room, Torrie is getting drunk off champagne. Nida and Noble get out of the shower and propose a "Triple Threat Match" to Torrie, and I'm not talking about the kind that Big Show, Lesnar and Angle were involved in Sunday. Billy Gunn crashes the party. Noble starts pleading that he never touched Torrie. Nidia jumps her man, before Gunn has a chance, too. Torrie and Gunn just look on in disbelief, or maybe they're into watching.
Brock Lesnar has an idea for Mr. McMahon. If Brock can beat Vince next week, Lesnar gets his rematch. Vince says he'll take it under consideration.
Back in the hotel, all four are in bed together. ŽNuff said.
I'll make this short and painless for you, the home reader.†Instead of long and painful for the home viewer, which would†be me. This is the public service I provide.†Sable comes to the ring and gloats that she beat Stephanie. She thanks Vince for A-Train's involvement on her behalf. Sable then announces that A-Train will be half the tag team that will be facing Angle and Lesnar, tonight.
Match #6 - Brock Lesnar and Kurt Angle vs. Big Show and A-train
Surprise! Surprise! A-Train's partner is The Big Show. Is there a clause in Big Show's contract that says, "Any time Faces take on a mystery tag team, Big Show must be one of the participants." Will someone check on this, please? We haven't seen A-Train in a while, but everyone remember the "Shave your back!" chant. A-Train overpowers Angle. He misses a corner charge, though, allowing Angle to slap on the ankle lock. A-Train powers out of the hold, and Brock tags in. A power slam from the former champ puts down the hairy one. With Angle back in the ring, A-train lays him out with a bicycle kick. Show tags in and drops a massive leg across Angle's throat. Lesnar breaks up the pin. A-Train tags back in. Angle ducks a clothesline and hits his Angle Slam. Lesnar tags in and takes out show on the apron, and a belly-to-belly overhead suplex slows down A-Train. Lesnar sets him up for an F-5, but has it broken up by a big boot from Show. Show then tags in, but gets hit with the F-5 for his trouble. Angle makes a blind tag on a woozy Lesnar, and pins Big Show for the win.
Winner via pinfall: Kurt Angle and Brock Lesnar
After the match, Lesnar has words with Angle about the ending of the match. They don't talk for long as Angle gets the business end of an F-5. McMahon comes to ringside, telling Lesnar that he will wrestle him next week, in a steel cage. And there will be a special guest referee, Kurt Angle. The show ends with Lesnar looking around in disbelief.†
Dale Plummer is a rookie on the Slam! Wrestling staff. Dale doesn't take his shirt off in public, thus avoiding "Shave your back!" chants. A-Train should take note.