July 29, 2003
Raw: Shane avenges Linda
By JON WALDMAN - SLAM! Wrestling
Welcome once again to the RAW Report. I\'m Jon Waldman, you\'re re-capper for the week. This week, Nick\'s on vacation, apparently joining Mr. Powell in the Shawn Michaels club.
By now you should all know my formula for rating matches, so I won\'t go into it.
Before I start, I\'ll mention that I was going through some of my WCW tapes last week, and found a tag match featuring Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko vs. Chris Jericho/Eddy Guerrero. The match was an easy 8/10, going to show that if you have good wrestlers on your roster, you should not have a problem booking solid matches unless your last name is McMahon, Gerwitz or Russo.
Now onto the show, emanating from Colorado Springs.
The show begins with a recap of last week\'s action with Linda, Bischoff, Austin, Kane and RVD. The tombstone is shown, which is somewhat surprising.
Tonight\'s show features Austin\'s decision plus Randy Orton and Shawn Michaels on the Highlight Reel.
Vince kicks off the show, promising that he will avenge Kane\'s actions last week, because he\'s a man and Kane\'s an animal. What\'s he going to do, hit him with a newspaper? This explanation makes no sense. Just say you\'re avenging what happened to your wife, you want to stop the madness for the good of the company, something that\'s logistic, not just an ego rub.
Match #1 Scott Steiner (w/Stacy)/Booker T vs. Christian/Test
Oh this is classic. This is the same match we had last time I reviewed RAW. I still don\'t care about this feud, by the way.
Match starts with some back-and-forth action between Booker and Test. Christian tags in and takes over on Booker. A Booker T chant is heard. Christian keeps control, tags in Test. Booker reverses a clothesline into a holding reverse kick for two. Booker tags out to Steiner, then Test tags out. Steiner controls with the lazy elbow drop and other moves. Christian turns the tide with his fall-out reverse DDT (a move that surprisingly has NEVER been given a name), then tags out to Test. Test takes over, and does push-ups after a corner clothesline. Test goes for a move off the top, but Steiner catches up and gets a spinning belly-to-belly side-suplex. Pier-six brawl leads to Booker and Test on the outside, and Steiner b2b side-suplexes Christian out. Cluster outside leads to Steiner getting dropped on the ring steps be Christian and Test. He appears to have hurt his wrist (we know he\'s in pain because he says a naughty word) as we take a break.
Back from the break, Test is doing jumping-jacks. He gets a sleeper on Steiner. Steiner elbows out, but Test regains the advantage until a double-KO spot. Dual tags leads to Booker taking over on Christian and Test before a Spinaroonie. Test gains control but Booker escapes a pump-handle slam. Christian grabs hold of Booker T, but Test hits his partner with the big boot. Steiner takes out Test with the Downward Spiral, allowing Booker to get the 1-2-3 over Christian with the scissor kick.
Winners: Steiner/Booker T.
Next up, we get Summerslam press conference highlights, which announce HHH vs. Goldberg as the RAW main event.
Match # 2 Golberg vs. Stevie Richards
Richards attacks early, but Goldberg soon gains control. Press-slam into a front suplex, spear, and jackhammer get Goldberg the duke.
Evolution comes out and Triple H has a war of words with Goldberg. In the end, Goldberg challenges Triple H tonight, but Triple H refuses. After that, Goldberg challenges Flair. Flair has to be held back by Evolution. Bischoff comes out, and makes the match for next week. This could be an interesting match
Commercial break note - during a promo on Calgary show, Vince bashes the Harts. I really hope Bret goes to the show and buys a front-row ticket. That would be sweet.
Match #3 Val Venis vs. Rico w/Miss Jacky
Rico and Venis fight over move #27 (standing side arm-bar), until Venis dropkicks Rico out. Jacky distracts Val so Rico can take over. Back in, some action leads to Rico getting two from a float-over suplex. Val sends us to the double-KO count with a powerbomb from an attempted hurricanrana. Val recovers with a swinging uranage for two and a Perfectplex for two. Back and forth action follows until Val gets a spinebuster. Val goes up, but Jacky tries to interfere as my power momentarily goes out. Back from blackout, Val covers for the three-count.
Winner: Val Venis
Backstage, Bischoff announces the arrival of the paddy wagon holding Kane. This sends various people backstage scurrying. Bischoff warns security to keep the wagon closed until he gets the word from Vince.
Next up, it\'s the Highlight Reel. Jericho comes out, talks about his win over HBK, complete with highlights on the JeriTron 5000.
Jericho then introduces his first guest, Randy Orton. Orton gives Jericho an Evolution tee shirt. Jericho would have given Orton a Highlight Reel shirt, but they\'re sold out. Cute. Jericho asks Orton about his involvement in the match. Orton responds that he\'s taking H3 and Flair\'s advice and is making a name for himself as a legend killer.
HBK then comes out, almost totally ignoring Orton. He talks about how Jericho couldn\'t beat him by himself, and challenges him to a match. Jericho refuses, and says he\'ll face anyone not named Shawn Michaels tonight
After Jericho and Orton call HBK an SOB, Michaels attacks them, only to be double-teamed. Nash comes out to save his buddy, as Orton escapes through the crowd. Nash, after checking his tights, says his name isn\'t Shawn Michaels, and challenges Jericho to a match.
Match #4 Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Nash
Winner: Nash by DQ.
Nash and Jericho then continue to fight after, with Nash busting Jericho open and assaulting the wound, including snake-eyes on an exposed ring turn buckle, the boards, and exposed boarding. Man, that Nash really has a HUGE move-set. What was I thinking? So many ways he used the snake eyes oh who am I kidding.
Earlier tonight, Vince comes out and rants on Kane.
Backstage, Rosey and Hurricane discuss the superhero-training program. Rosey apparently wants a mask, cape and super-powers. This was actually semi-funny, but they are STILL wasting Hurricane.
Backstage the paddy wagon is open so Kane can have some fresh air. Aww; how sweet of the security guards. Bischoff, the heartless fiend he is, says to close the wagon up again, and not to open it until he gives the word.
Coach and Lawler talk about RVD having a \"severe concussion\", but could he could be back next week. Ask Bret what a sever concussion is, dumbasses. Also of note, JR is out of the hospital. I wonder if he\'ll have any burn-marks in Vancouver when he\'s doing his barbeque at the horse races
Match #5 World Tag Team Championship match - La Resistance vs. Mark Jindrak/Lance Cade (I refuse to call him Garrison).
The Dudleyz are co-commentating for this match. This is a re-match from J/C beating La Resistance on Heat a couple weeks back in a non-title match.
Cade starts off quick with a shoulder block for two on Grenier. Cade sends Grenier outside, who is helped by Dupree. Cade then hits a sweet tope de baseball (baseball slide between the ropes) on both of the Frenchmen. Back in, Jindrak is tagged in and gets a two-count. Cade and Jindrak continue to dominate as Cade gets a two off a roll-up. Grenier, however, gets control and tags out to Dupree, who gets two off a suplex, and another two-count off a clothesline. The ref is distracted while Grenier prepares to use the flag, which causes the Dudleyz to march down to the ring.
Back from a commercial break, the Dudleyz are back at the announce table. Jindrak and Dupree are both tagged in, and Jindrak looks awesome. He hits Dupre with a flying jalapeno for two. Grenier and Cade get a dropkick variation of the Hart Attack on Grenier to send him out, but Grenier ends up interrupting an attempt on Dupree. Grenier and Dupree then get the double uranage (which I think should be called \"La Piece de Resistance\" or \"La Souflee\") for the three count on Jindrak.
Winners: La Resistance
After the match, the Dudleyz attack and set up for the 3D on Dupree, until Grenier hits both Dudleyz with the flag. Methinks there\'ll be a flag match at Summerslam.
Backstage, Bischoff gives the word for the paddy wagon to open. Kane comes out in shackles and is escorted by tazer-gun carrying police. Hey, I think I used those guns at Darkzone. No wonder so many of us had seizures during the game
Match #6 Women\'s Title match Gail Kim vs. Molly Holly
I\'m guessing the backstage stuff was out of sequence
A replay of last week\'s tag match leads into this week\'s bout. Molly gets a series of amateur wrestling moves in until Gail reverses into move #36 (policeman\'s arm-bar). For those who are curious, the arm-bar joke is courtesy of Chris Jericho, who on Nitro proved that he knew more moves than Dean Malenko (the man of 1,000 holds) by listing the moves he knew. Every other move was an arm-bar (damn I miss the WCW Jericho).
Back to the match and Kim gets a lucha roll-up for two. Gail then goes for the lucha armdrag, but Molly simply pushes her off the top rope. Absolute GENIUS counter move there. Molly rolls Kim back in and covers for two. Molly gets another two after a snap-suplex. She then hooks in a bow-and-arrow, but quickly releases it. Kim turns the tide with a leg-scissors, but Molly regains control with a leg-trip into a hangman. Molly\'s Xena flip meets Kim\'s boots in the corner. Kim attempts pins with a roll-up and spinning hurricanrana. Both get two. She then attemps a Frankensteiner, which Molly blocks. Molly then hits a sweet Molly-go-round for the three count and the win.
Winner and new champion: Molly Holly
Finally, Vince comes out and Kane soon follows, accompanied by guards. Kane is released from his shackles and is brought into the ring by Vince. Vince starts to rag on Kane, but then turns soft and ponders a partnership between the two. Austin\'s music comes on, and he soon appears in the ring. Austin says he\'ll stay in his general manager role, accepting the conditions Linda set forth. Austin then tries to goad Kane into \"pysically provoking\" him, but Shane runs out and attacks Kane instead. Vince tries to stop his son, but Shane clobbers him. Shane then chases Kane up the ramp, and after three chairshots, Kane falls off the stage through a table. We end with a shot of Kane giving a Raven-esque smile.
Overall, the show was iffy. The sell for the title match is really weak at this point, and unless Goldberg goes over Flair cleanly, no one will truly buy him as a contender. Molly winning the Women\'s title was much needed, while the tag match was much better than expected, even though the champs didn\'t look all that good. The last sequence was puzzling, but I guess now we\'ll see if Zack Gowan can survive without Vince giving him some rub.
Overall this show gets a 3.5/10. There\'s lots of room for improvement here, but there was enough stuff that didn\'t bore me.
If all goes according to plan, Nick will be back next week. Until the next time I sub for one of the regulars, this is Jon Waldman signing off.
Jon Waldman has been a part of SLAM! Wrestling since 2000. He has interviewed
one of the WWE\'s current heavyweight champions for SLAM! in the past. To find
out which, and to read some of Jon\'s other wrestling and non-wrestling articles,
visit his portfolio at www.jonwaldman.com.