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Cena wins right to face Lesnar
By
DALE_PLUMMER - SLAM! Wrestling
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Who will face Brock Lesnar at Backlash for the WWE Championship? One
match will answer that question, tonight on Smackdown!, when John Cena
and Chris Benoit face each other in the finals of the Number One
Contenders tournament. Michael Cole and Tazz bring us all the action
from Norfolk, Virginia, live. Well, on tape.
Match #1 Rey Misterio and Tajiri vs. Big Show and A-Train
The first match of the night is a true head scratcher. Who booked this
match, and why did they do it? Misterio and Tajiri combined don\'t
weigh
as much as one of these stiffs. Does the WWE really expect us to
believe
that Misterio and Tajiri can win? Enough editorializing, let\'s get into
the match. The cruiserweights actually hold their own early, by
double-teaming A-Train. This teamwork provides an opportunity for
Misterio to hit the 619, but a big boot from Big Show breaks it up.
Show
enters the ring and tosses Misterio around like a rag doll. Tajiri and
Misterio do mount another comeback, after a springboard drop kick on
A-Train. Big show breaks up the pin fall, though. Then, in an
impressive
show of strength, Big Show lifts Misterio over his head, with one hand.
Misterio doesn\'t meet with a nice landing after that. A-Train nails
Tajiri with a bicycle kick and pins him for the victory.
A-Train isn\'t content with the win, though. After the match he tries to
attack Tajiri, only to get a face-full of the green mist. Big Show
comforts A-Train outside the ring, that mist really burns, only to
receive the 619 from Misterio, via the ring post. Big Show gets knocked
on his rear, and I think his pride was hurt, too. He looks mad.
After the break, we join Big Show and A-Train backstage. Show is still
fuming mad, and challenges Misterio to a match at Backlash.
Back in the ring, Michael Cole welcomes Brock Lesnar to ring. He
congratulates Lesnar on his Wrestlemania win, despite the fact he
landed
the shooting-star press on his face. Lesnar takes the mike, giving Kurt
Angle props for kicking out of two F-5s. That\'s why he had to attempt
the shooting-star press. Lesnar went on to say how he respects Kurt
Angle, until John Cena interrupted him. Cena is also looking for
respect, despite the fact that he doesn\'t respect Lesnar or the title
he carries. Cena also finds it hard to believe that Lesnar suffered a
concussion, because you need a brain to suffer a concussion. Cena is
rambling on about how he is bigger then Lesnar, the fans, WWE, the WWE
title, when Benoit interrupts him. Benoit says no one is bigger than
the
title, and that you don\'t have to respect the man that holds it,
either.
You just have to respect the belt itself. Lesnar takes offense to that
remark and next thing you know everyone is accusing everyone else of
disrespect. This is worse than playground. Lesnar and Benoit resolve
their differences quickly, and try to seal it with a handshake. Cena
hits Benoit from behind and runs back up the ramp.
Mr. America is coming! I don\'t know who that is, but is he related to
Miss America?
Match #2 Eddie Guerrero with Chavo vs. Jamie Noble w/ Nidia
Before this match starts Team Angle walks out on stage to address Los
Guerreros. Team Angle respects Los Guerreros. Boy, there seems to be a
respect epidemic on tonight\'s show. Anyway, they respect the Latinos
because Grandma Guerrero is the best housekeeper money can buy. As
Eddie
ponders what was said, Noble jumps him from behind and starts the
match.
Noble is no match for Latino Heat and is quickly subdued. Nidia rears
her head, by trying to break up the frogsplash. Eddie shakes her off
and
hits his finisher to put Noble away quickly. After the match, Los
Guerreros fire back at Team Angle. Eddie respects them for all the time
they spend practicing taking each other down. And they are the best at
\"going down on each other.\" Chavo adds that Team Angle also gives a
whole new mean to \"You suck!\" I have know idea what they are
insinuating
here.
After the break we find out that Rey Misterio has accepted Big Show\'s
challenge. Hmm...Big Show vs. Rey Misterio at Backlash, I\'m sure that
will
spike the PPV buy rates.
Nathan Jones catches up with Nunzio, backstage. Jones nearly puts the
smallest member of the FBI through a chain link fence for setting him
up
last week. The other members of the FBI try to save him, but Jones lays
them out for their trouble.
Torrie Wilson is in her locker room warming up for her match. She is
limber; I\'ll give her that. Sable stops by to talk. She tells Torrie
that she is very good in Playboy, but even better in person after
seeing
her in the shower last week. Torrie looks a little put off by this.
Sable asks for some help with her zipper, that\'s on the FRONT of her
outfit. Sable undoes the zipper and Torrie gets a free show.
It looks like Piper\'s Pit is going to be a weekly segment. Honestly, I
don\'t think this is really a bad idea, until Piper pretty much called
all wrestling writers on the internet cowards. I\'ll let that slide,
because I\'m the bigger man. Piper is making friends, though. Sean
O\'Haire to be exact. He\'s the wrestler for the new millennium. O\'Haire
tells Piper he\'s not here to kiss his butt. It sure sounded like butt
kissing, though. Piper and O\'Haire\'s love fest is short lived as Jimmy
Snuka makes his way to the ring! Piper looks like he nearly soiled his
kilt. Piper sends O\'Haire out of the ring, saying he can handle this
himself. He offers to bury the coconut, oops, hatchet with Snuka. Piper
offers a handshake, and Snuka accepts. Of course this is a set up, but
Snuka blocks the cheap shot, only to get jumped by O\'Haire. Rikishi
storms the ring to make the save, and have an impromptu family reunion.
The Big \'Kish gets on the mike and tells O\'Haire that he will own him
at
Backlash.
A video runs of Torrie Wilson\'s autograph session in New York. She even
autographed a copy of Playboy for all of us that couldn\'t make the
event. I\'ll be expecting my copy in the mail, soon, then.
Match # 3 Torrie Wilson vs. Nidia w/ Jamie Noble and Sable as
special
referee
This was a typical women\'s match until the end. After a botched
backdrop, Torrie hits a DDT off the top rope. As she is going for the
pin, Sable drop kicks Noble off the apron, and then counts 1-2-3.
Torrie
picks up the victory as Sable raises her hand high.
Match #4 Matt Hardy (v 1.0) w/ Shannon Moore vs. Brian Kendrick,
Cruiserweight Title Match
Kendrick has the quickest ring entrance ever. He just sprints down the
ramp, ala Sammy Sosa sprinting to right field. I guess the kid is just
happy to have a job. Shannon Moore interferes early in this match, but
Kendrick dispatches him easily. Hardy is able to slap a half nelson on
Kendrick, who promptly counters it into a modified DDT. With Hardy down
on the mat, Kendrick pays homage to his trainer Shawn Michaels with a
flying elbow off the top rope. Kendrick tries to finish of Hardy with
\"sliced bread #2\", yes that\'s the name of his finisher, but Hardy
reverses it into a Twist of Fate. Hardy pins the young upstart and
retains his title.
Backstage we discover that the FBI has Nunzio\'s back. No, really!?
Match #5 Nathan Jones vs. Nunzio
Nunzio tries to attack Jones when he enters the ring. Jones responds by
knocking down the Italian in one punch. Jones dominated the match until
the rest of the FBI get involved. The match ends in a DQ for Nunzio,
but
the action goes on. Jones is hit with a crowbar outside the ring, and
then has his ankle crushed between the steel steps. Jones may have
notched another win in his young career, and the fans can notch a win
if
Jones\' injury puts him on the shelf for a while. I don\'t see that
happening though.
Match # 6 John Cena vs. Chris Benoit #1 Contender tournament final
Cena raps his way to ring, in shore telling Benoit that he can \"bite
me.\" Benoit tries to use his technical style to his advantage early,
while Cena counters with submission moves. Benoit is able to slap the
cross face crippler on Cena early, but Cena is able to get to the ropes
and break the hold. WWE then cuts to a commercial. We return to find
Benoit going for a pin. I hate it when they do that! Why go to
commercial in mid-match, it\'s so frustrating. Benoit corners Cena, but
eats turnbuckle after a drop-toe hold. Cena dodges a flying head butt
from Benoit, only to feel the effects of the cross face crippler,
again.
Cena is able to make his way to ropes, yet again, to break the hold.
Cena sets up Benoit for the Death Valley Driver, Benoit counters with a
sunset flip, but can\'t get it over. Cena drops his knees on Benoit\'s
shoulders and gets the 1-2-3 for the win and a shot at Brock Lesnar at
Backlash.
Come back next week when \"Rowdy\" Roddy Piper will make his in-ring
debut
on Smackdown!
Dale Plummer is a rookie on the SLAM! Wrestling staff. Dale only
started
watching wrestling in 1992, so he could care less if any other stars
from the \'80s try to make a comeback.
