Total Non-Stop Action: New Jack is back!
DONNIE ABREU - SLAM! Wrestling
This week's show started with Sports Entertainment Xtreme's acting leader, Glen Gilberti in the ring asking D'Lo Brown to come on down. Gilberti says that the only reason that redneck Jeff Jarrett is popular is because TNA is in Tennessee. Can't argue with that. He continues to run down Jarrett and tells D'Lo he needs to join S.E.X. if he wants to win the title tonight.
A.J. Styles crashed the ring and interrupted the monologue. He put a beating on Gilberti.in and out of the ring. They battled back and forth until Raven came down and sat in the corner of the ring, watching the two men go at it. Mike Tenay speculated that Raven still has heat with A.J. but said he is ticked off that Gilberti gave his title shot to D'Lo.
Brown joined the fun and went nose to nose with Raven before being separated by all of S.E.X.
New Jack returns to the ring.
Next up, we had a pretaped segment. Tenay sat down with Konnan and Jerry Lynn to discuss their issues. Konnan complained about horrible American wrestlers plodding around and working horrible matches. He claimed they had to steal Luche Libre's style to stay on top. Lynn said he had no heat with Konnan and is a huge fan of Luche Libre. The two seemed to settle their philosophical differences. Konnan then reaches in a bag and hands Lynn the yellow costume worn by last week's mystery man. K-Dawg admits he was behind the attack but gives his word it won't happen again. Tenay discussed Lynn's title shot against Kid Kash, which led Konnan to shake his hand at wish him luck.
Raven is interviewed by Goldylocks. He rants about the crowd in Tennessee and said he is destined to be the NWA TNA World Champion. True.
Tenay and West then introduced themselves and the show. They promoted the World title match and the X Division match between Kash and Lynn. They threw to a video package recapping the Dusty Rhodes / David Flair feud. This took us to our first match.
Brian Lawler VS. "Wildcat" Chris Harris
One half of America's Most Wanted, Harris was in a singles match for the second straight week. No sign of his partner iCowboyi James Storm. Lawler came to the ring with David Flair. The third member of their team, Eric Watts was not with them.
Once again, Harris was very impressive. The more I see him as a singles wrestler, the more I think he is being held down in a tag team. When he has the chance to cut loose, Harris is a lot of fun to watch.
Flair interrupted several close falls, and kept his partner alive. Harris hit an awesome Catatonic that saw Lawler land on the back of his head and neck. Flair distracted the ref and iThe Wildcati took a shot in the face from the old NWA belt that David stole from Pappa Ric.
WINNER: Brian Lawler
At the end of the match they continued to beat on Harris until Dusty Rhodes slowly made his way down to the ring. You thought Vince McMahon's punches at Wrestlemania looked weak? You should see Dusty's elbows to the head of Lawler and Flair. Pathetic. Please, get Dusty out of the TNA ring.
Dusty grabbed a mic and compared David stealing his dad's belt to someone stealing a trophy from Babe Ruth's closet, or an old belt from Muhammad Ali. He then says he is going to get a posse together to recapture that stolen belt. Apparently stealing is okay for Dusty but not David.
A verbal battle between Dusty and Lawler went on and on for about 5 or 6 painful minutes. Dusty even commented about isomeonei (producer?) waving that the segment was going too long. He blamed the length of the promo on Lawler being winded and unable to get his words out. Lawler eventually made a challenge for next week.
It's going to be a ladder match -- with Rhodes for a belt that he doesn't own, and isn't recognized as a championship in TNA. Dusty Rhodes in a ladder match? I think this is a sign of the Apocalypse. Someone tell me this is a belated April Fool's prank. PLEASE.
Goldylocks was backstage with Saturn and Sandman talking about their battle to come with S.E.X. Saturn wonders how they dare call themselves iExtremei (hint hint nudge nudge). The two of them will be in a six man tag against the Harris' and Christopher Daniels. Father James Mitchell offered the assistance of the New Church, but was told the third spot had already been taken. Saturn and Mitchell exchanged words and suddenly seemed to be at odds. Confusing.
Alexis Laree VS. Trinity
I'm not a fan of women's matches, but this was better than anything the WWE has had since Alundra Blayze and Bull Nakano. You know Oe women actually wrestling? Not just rolling around in Jell-O or choking each other in some glorified cat-fight. It's still not Angle-Benoit, but a refreshing change nonetheless. There were some nice exchanges and impressive spots, which included a huge moonsault attempt by Trinity that she missed. Raven came to the ring and sat in the corner to watch the end of the match. Kash came down the aisle to see what Raven wanted. Trinity won the match with a standing shooting star press.
After the match, Raven nails Trinity with the Evenflow DDT! Why? Who knows! Kash looks on and instead of rushing down to help his woman, he turns and heads to the dressing room. Laree and Raven left hand in hand.
Goldylocks interviewed Jarrett. She asked what was up with Jarrett's new attitude citing the sneak attack on Watts and chairshot on Brown last week. Jarrett grabbed Goldy by the throat and told her to back off. Classy.
Harris Twins and Christopher Daniels VS. Sandman, Perry Saturn and a mystery partner.
The arena went black (do they have to do that EVERY time there is a mystery partner?) and when the lights came up we saw the Orignal Gangsta -- New Jack in the ring! New Jack cleared the ring with trash can shots to all three members of S.E.X. The crowd went nuts chanting his name. Tenay made reference to the ties and friendship of Sandman, Saturn and New Jack in ECW.
Saturn carried the majority of the match and looked a little better this week than he did last. The Harris Brothers still suck n no news there.
New Jack had one of the Harris boys on a table on the outside and went to the balcony n preparing to hit one of his infamous dives. Brian Lee of the New Church pushed New
Jack off and to the floor. Lee then beat on the prone Harris. Confusing.
Back in the ring, Saturn won the match for his team with a DVD. I don't think a tag was ever made.
WINNERS: Saturn, Sandman and New Jack
After the match Perry was attacked by Mike Barton. Barton is better known as Bart Gunn (Smokin Gunns / Brawl For All Champion) from his WWF days. For those who haven't kept up with Barton over the last few years he's been in Japan, he looks huge. Some fans started a chant thinking it was Mike Awesome. Barton hit a DVD and left Saturn laying. He was wearing an S.E.X. shirt so he has apparently joined that enormous faction.
Sonny Siaki VS. David Young
Siaki's valet Desire was handcuffed (down boys) to a ring rope in order to prevent her from interfering in the match.
Siaki hit a nice split legged moonsault. Didn't know he had it in him. Siaki dominated the match and eventually hit Young with his own finisher the spinebuster. Young kicked out and when he got to his feet crushed Sonny with the Siakalypse. Young caught Siaki off guard and rolled him up in a cradle / small package to get the upset win.
WINNER: David Young
Athena came to the ring with another set of handcuffs. Siaki was cuffed to the ring and forced to watch big bad Young put Desire down with a spinebuster. The crowd remained silent. Big surprise they didn't cheer violence against women by men.
An impressive video package is shown for iThe Truthi Ron Killings. Why can't all of TNA's videos look this slick?
Ron "The Truth" Killings VS. "Primetime" Elix Skipper
Tenay identified Killings backup from last week (Mabel / Viscera) as Nelson Knight. Knight is not with The Truth to start this match. Killings grabbed the mic, but Skipper jumped him before he could say a word.
With Skipper on the outside, Killings hit a great corkscrew suicide dive n jumping clear over the top rope! The match goes back and forth, but eventually we get a Killings win following a face first suplex.
WINNER: Ron Killings
After the match, iThe Sun Tanned Supermani was attacked by Christopher Daniels. That's when Nelson Knight showed up and cleared house. Sit out powerbombs, huge leg dropsOe you know his M.O. Killings and Knight celebrate together and the crowd popped nicely.
Jerry Lynn Vs. Kid Kash (X-Division Title Match)
Lynn won his #1 contender spot on February 12th, and hadn't received his shot until now. Kind of tells you what TNA has been doing with the X-Division lately. It was announced that Kash recently hyper extended his knee when he faced Lynn in a match for another promotion. Kash is limping noticeably.
Match started with lots of standing switches, exchanges, deep arm drags and drop kicks. After countering an attempt of the Money Maker, Lynn puts the champ up for a Gory Special (see Konnan? Jerry loves Luche Libre!).
Kash connected with several of his signature hurracanranas and then a fisherman gourd buster. The crowd was hot for this match. Kid attempted a springboard dive but was caught in mid-air by a perfectly timed dropkick. Kash went from rolling thunder into a hurracanrana but was dropped in a sit out powerbomb!
Lynn had the match under control and was about to score the win. He took KK up for an F5, but took the ref out by accident. That's when a mystery lucador dressed in black with a white spider logo over his costume attacked. He left Lynn laying and Kash made the cover. Didn't get to see Kash's summersault Van-Terminator this week.
WINNER: and still champion, Kid Kash
Another video package is shown recapping the D'Lo n Jarrett issues, and Glen Gilberti's offer of a title shot against Jarrett if D'Lo promised to join S.E.X. upon winning the strap. It was a pretty cheesy promo. Not nearly as well done as the Killings piece.
D'Lo Brown VS. Jeff Jarrett (NWA TNA World Title Match)
Raven on the stick.
Cameras went backstage to reveal Brown has already jumped Double J. He is punching and kicking the champion all the way into the crowd. Both men took a couple of chair shots and were thrown into various walls and guard rails. Eventually Brown led Jeff down to the ring. That's when we noticed that Gilberti standing ringside, presumably to cheer on D'Lo.
Back on the outside, Jarrett tried to clobber his opponent with a chair, but Gilberti grabbed it out of his hand, leading JJ to be spun around and caught in a Brown DDT.
Finally we get back in the ring for more than 30 seconds. D'Lo had a sleeper on and was cheering as though the match was over. Jarrett powered out and after a big vertical suplex, both men were down for a 7 count.
When both men were on their feet, Jarrett caught D'Lo with one of the best standing dropkicks I've ever seen! Right on the chin. Perfect. Brown regained his composure and used the Stroke but Jeff kicked out. We get a ref bump, which brought Gilberti in and allowed him to put a diamond cutter on JJ. No pin. Another ref bump. Jarrett took out Gilberti then took a belt shot from Mike Sanders. D'Lo covers, ref crawls over but still no pinfall.
Then Raven showed up, and as he did twice earlier just sat in the corner of the ring. Ref goes to eject Raven, which allowed Sanders to come back into the ring. He tries to hit a superkick on JJ. Jarrett ducked and watched as Brown caught it. After the stroke, the pinfall was made, with Raven sitting in the corner watching.
WINNER and still champion: Jeff Jarrett
Jarrett and Raven then go nose to nose and all of S.E.X. comes down to the ring. Raven tells them to get out so they can go at it one on one. Jarrett pushed Raven into a corner when Alexis Laree came from behind to grab his golden locks. Jeff reached down, picked up a chair and smashed it over the head of the 5'2i 100 pound woman. Three attacks by babyface men on women in one show.
We fade to black and that's that.
It was a better overall show than last week's talk-fest. The X matchup was great despite the champion's injury and the main event was well worked, up until the final scene. Does Jarrett feel he needs to prove himself as a tough guy? This isn't the way to do it.
See you next week folks.
Donnie Abreu has been a wrestling journalist for eight years and is the co-founder of IceCold Media (http://www.icecoldmedia.com). Visit IceCold Media for all your custom media design needs. Mention that you read Donnie's column on SLAM! and receive a 20% discount!