Now this is the stuff of true Greek mythology. Step aside, Hercules, you 97-pound weakling. And you, Odysseus, with your little rowboat. Take a powder, Zeus, because there's a new sheriff in town.
His name is Angelos Charisteas and, okay, maybe Homer isn't around to immortalize him in song, but satellite TV will do quite nicely.
This new Greek god's name was on the lips of hundreds of millions of world-wide viewers yesterday as the lightning rod for one of the most significant long-shot victories in major sports history.
Jason and the Argonauts versus The Golden Fleece was a fair fight compared to Greece against the rest of Europe at the European championship of soccer.
And when the greatest moment in Greek sporting history was finished and a 1-0 victory had been secured by his goal, Charisteas, in true regal style, took command.
"I call on all Greeks to rejoice and celebrate," he said.
And then millions of Greeks and wanna-be Greeks all over the globe obliged. Seldom has a royal edict been complied with so quickly and with such enthusiasm.
Upsets happen in sports every day of the year, but on a worldwide major championship scale, it's hard to think of anything more stunning than this one. To give it a hockey comparison, it would be like Germany winning the World Cup come September. And then multiply it by about a hundred because that's how many more people care about soccer than hockey.
And if you're going to call it a fluke, be careful. This wasn't one game. Or two games. A half-dozen teams had a chance to derail this runaway train and couldn't. Not only did the Greeks beat the home team, Portugal, but they beat them twice. They also beat the defending champions, France, as well as the consensus pick to win it all, the Czech Republic. Off that record, you have to say that the Greeks not only earned their championship fair and square but they bruised some monstrous egos along the way.
Put simply, they were the best team. They didn't have the best players but they were the best team. It was evident yesterday. They were inside the Portuguese shirts all day, pressuring the ball obsessively with a work ethic unmatched.
As usual, they took advantage of one of the few chances that came their way. In the 57th minute, Giourkas Seitaridis made a run down the wing and Greece was rewarded with a corner.
Angelos Basinas floated in a delivery from the right and Charisteas bulled his way around Portugal's defensive kingpin Costinha to get his forehead on it, slamming it into the empty net, with Ricardo, the Portuguese 'keeper, out of position.
If the Greeks won it with their commitment, they also won it with German pragmatism.
In his native Germany, Greek coach Otto Rehhagel has always been known as a bit of an eccentric; a poser and a gasbag, pontificating on any subject of his choosing, most of it to do with himself.
But one thing is clear: The man knows how to build a limousine out of a bunch of spare parts. He's been the Greek national coach since '01 and has been blessed not by great talent but by a collection of players willing to check their egos at the gate and play as a team.
Many of his players are unable to crack the lineups of their club teams in Europe but they were able to coalesce for one glorious month. And that is a credit to their coach.
"The Greeks have made football history," said Rehhagel. "It's a sensation."
Greece captain Theo Zagorakis, a journeyman footballer with modest talent and enormous character, put yesterday's events in perspective.
"We proved once again that the Greek soul is, and always will be, our strength," he said. "It is the greatest gift that God gave us.
"We're going to take this cup to Greek people all over the world. I think we've given them something more than joy. We've given them great pride, which they will be able to carry with them for the rest of their lives."
Beat that, Socrates.
