'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the nation
A great debate rages over Olympic sensations
No one will argue with most of the choices
But one thing is causing some serious noises.
The kid from Cole Harbour, Crosby's his name
We all agree, the guy has got game
Better than that, he's an 18-year-old dream
With leadership and character so rarely seen.
The ultimate Canadian, most would agree
Young Sid does it all so effortlessly
Yet, he won't be going to Turin, Italy
Left home in favour of Todd Bertuzzi.
The big man is good, no argument here
A role model, though? Don't even go there
What does it mean, this thing we've been told?
That just one thing matters: winning the gold.
Take heart, fellow fans, who'll cheer on our team
Most athletes we're sending aren't really mean
In fact, most will do us enormously proud
So get ready to cheer, real long and real loud.
For medals are coming, there's no debating
In hockey, in downhill, and long track speed skating
The latter, we think, will make headline news
Led by Winnipeg's Klassen and Hughes.
Both know the Games, have already won medals
Clara, incredibly, on blades and on pedals
Cindy's a threat in four different races
Don't snooze when this speedster does up her laces.
Before the Olympics, we'll try to reclaim
Our World Junior Hockey Championship fame
This one's on home soil, out on the West Coast
Our team, it's a young one, no reason to boast.
The youngest of all is Jonathan Toews
A 'Pegger who's drawing all kinds of raves
Word is he could be the first pick in the summer
Which would earn him enough to buy a new Hummer.
Toews, Dustin Boyd and defenceman, Cam Barker
Three locals expected to add the odd marker
The home crowd will be in their favour, of course
But will it be as loud as it was in Grand Forks?
For who can forget that gold medal game?
A full house at The Ralph watched the Russians get tamed
Looking back at the year, that sure was the highlight
When our juniors ended a seven-year dogfight
Our faith in the game was tested, for sure
NHL owners and players acted like boors
Turns out they weren't as big as they thought
We found other things to do, like it or not.
Greedy and shameless, they finally relented
Made a new deal, and the lockout was ended
When you look at the way the game has come back
You can't help but wonder why we went through all that.
The Moose, they would show us where hockey was at
With a playoff win over the dirty St. John's Rats
The Americans were next, from Rochester, with love
But the Moose couldn't handle those Chicago Wolves.
If it's football you're after, this wasn't the place
At least, if you like a good playoff race
They weren't even close, our poor, old Blue Bombers
They couldn't put up respectable numbers.
Two seasons running, they've blamed the head coach
Chased him out, just like a cockroach
Doug Berry's the new man, brought in with much fanfare
But you can't help but wonder just what he's in for.
If you thought the Bombers made a bad impression
You didn't see baseball's congressional session
The sluggers were only themselves protecting
When they denied ever injecting.
The scandal of drugs, performance-enhancing
Had hitters and pitchers, everywhere, dancing
A decrease in homers, an increase in lies
The issue even reached the Winnipeg Goldeyes.
The standard response was not, "I am sorry"
But rather, a tiresome supplement story
Finally, the big leagues have a policy with clout
And a whole new meaning to, "three strikes, and you're out."
You can count on our curlers to bring us good cheer
The only thing they take is the occasional beer
They're not after glory, fortune or fame
A perfect example is Randy Dutiaume.
The "lunch box," we called him, at the provincials
He fulfilled a dream, by beating all rivals
A hit at the Brier, oh how he could talk
As good with a quote as he was with a rock.
Not so adept with the microphones
Was our women's champ, one Jennifer Jones
Jennifer proved, though, that wasn't vital
When she came home with a Canadian title.
The shot that won it, we'll always remember
Almost as good as any eight-ender
As nice as it was to win with that shot
There's one thing Jen wanted more than the Scott.
An Olympic berth waited in Halifax
The ultimate reason to crouch in the hack
Alas, the trials left her cold and alone
She could handle the rocks, just not the stones.
So here's to our jocks, losers and winners
Here's to the saints, even the sinners
Here's to all who revel in the fight
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.
Contact Paul at firstname.lastname@example.org or 632-2788.