Fans drop gloves

MIKE BELL -- Calgary Sun

, Last Updated: 12:16 PM ET

It didn't take long, really. Nor a great deal of effort. But the rewards are sweet.

The accomplishment? Finding the Nickelback-ean equivalent in the Cheap Seats, a topic certain to get a belligerent rise out of a certain segment of the population, eliciting from them a round of questioning concerning sexual orientation and Oedipal accusations.

The subject? Either Tie Domi or the Toronto Maple Leafs -- or a combination of the two.

Infer Mr. Domi, who's spent most of his hockey life speaking with his hands, was probably not the most qualified individual to offer insight into the game as a TV analyst and the grammatically challenged insults come raining down from above.

And we didn't even get into the whole Belinda Stronach situation, although Domi's wife's revelation he was never really interested in politics is the kind of thing one could right a dissertation on (Working title: Water is Wet and Other Valuable Nuggets From the Obvious Vault.)

So, while last week's reaction coupled with the easy fodder provided by this past week's sad, sordid chapter in the Domi clan begs for a return visit, we must decline -- mainly because there are some of us who know when we return from the cheap seats, we do so to a bungalow made of glass (actually, it's more like Saran Wrap).

Instead we'll give Sun scribe Dan Toth the credit for his crack on the alleged affair when he commented you'd think the Leafs would want to rethink their decision and keep Tie around for a little while longer.

After all, don't they need people who can score in Ottawa?

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By the way, Leafs fans, please don't think I don't understand where your rage comes from.

Going three decades without something you really, really want, probably makes you a little edgy.

Sorry, did I say three?

I meant four. How silly of me. Four decades. This season it's 40 years of ineptitude and heartbreak. Happy anniversary!

Which I guess makes it all the more understandable why Leafs fans hold a special place in their hearts for Domi. No player truly embodies what it has meant to bleed blue and white for the past 30 years better than he.

Think about it: Both are used to taking repeated blows to the head; Both know every time they show up to a game they'll be sitting beside people well acquainted with losing; And both remain inexplicably loyal to an organization that couldn't care less about them and will have little or no difficulty replacing them.

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While we're tripping our way through minefields, now would be a good time to stop and assess the latest happenings in the Terrell Owens saga.

To wit: What the hell?

Is there another person on the planet who's more of a drama magnet? (If we see upskirt photos of a commando T.O. on the Internet tomorrow the answer is a resounding 'no.')

Is there any other human being on the planet who could turn a groggy medication reaction into front-page news, mid-day press conferences, leaked police reports and suicide rumours?

Granted, the media shares some of the blame jumping on it like a pitbull in a nursery but anyone who thinks the story of one of the most famous and controversial athletes (a.k.a. 'some fancy little football person') allegedly attempting suicide isn't worth following up on is probably a loser who follows politics and junk.

And while it all could have ended with T.O.'s press conference, his publicist Kim Etheredge not only insinuated the police screwed up the police report to "take advantage" of poor T.O., before she left the podium she also dropped the crass line: "Terrell has 25 million reasons why he should be alive" as if she were cutting one before getting off the elevator.

The only question now is how does T.O. top this?

I really can't wait to find out.


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