It has come to this: An NHL team actually misses Martin Gerber.
With their new first-string goalie serving a suspension, the Maple Leafs have given up 12 goals during their past two games.
Oldster Curtis Joseph and youngster Justin Pogge each was pulled from his past start, but, hey, that's the goaltending business in the NHL.
There aren't many consistent stalwarts such as Martin Brodeur out there.
Consider the ups and downs the past two years of Vesa Toskala, Chris Osgood, Carey Price, Cam Ward and anybody who has tried to stop a puck for the Ottawa Senators.
There's still hope for the Leafs: Adam Munro, the supposed backup goalie with the Marlies, has better numbers than Pogge (2.44 goals-against average, versus 2.70) and lanky James Reimer, 21, remains a decent prospect.
So, no need yet to resort to the cardboard cutout.
Guess Don Cherry didn't get the memo about Earth Hour on Saturday night.
Or else he just forgot to unplug that brilliant pink jacket on Hockey Night in Canada, during his weekly episode of Grapes in Drapes.
Bunch of Shemps
You take a look at the way the Maple Leafs, Raptors and Senators have performed and you have to wonder: How is it that Jim Carrey is the only guy from Ontario picked for a role in the new Three Stooges movie?
Cherry is somewhat contradictory at times, you might agree.
On Saturday, Cherry took credit for Alex Ovechkin toning down his goal celebrations last week, after Col. Don advised the Washington Capitals star to show some class:
"Ovie Ovechkin, he listened ... He found out that you shouldn't jump around," Cherry said.
A few minutes later, Cherry chuckled as video showed the Edmonton Oilers celebrating a victory by gathering in a scrum and hopping together.
"Watch, they jump around, nothing wrong with that," Cherry said. "Look at that, I just love that ... I see them jumping around."
What does it all mean?
Only that some people take Cherry way too seriously.
Beat goes on
You have to feel a bit sorry for Chris Bosh of the Raptors.
After all, he has spent the entire season playing with a bunch of deadbeats.
North or South Pole?
Pardon my French, but here is the first sentence of a Reuters story out of Paris:
"A French pole vaulting champion ran naked with his pole through the streets of Paris ..."
Now, ya think it was written deliberately that way, or just a bad translation from French?
Turns out the pole vaulter, Romain Mesnil, was just trying to draw attention to his quest for a new sponsorship deal.
It worked marvellously, too. He was signed up immediately by Fruit of the Loom.