Kolzig, Gerber and Grabovski can't score

GARY LOEWEN, SUN MEDIA

, Last Updated: 11:34 AM ET

There is some good news for Leafs Nation:

Goalie Olaf Kolzig likely won't be healthy enough to play in a game unless the team makes it to the playoffs.

Thus, those nasty Montreal Canadiens fans won't be able to refer to them as the Maple O-Laffs.

GERBER ON GUARD

The Ottawa Senators have had a string of failed goaltenders, it seems.

But former Senator Martin Gerber didn't look so bad for the Maple Leafs in their 2-1 win over the Washington Capitals on Thursday.

Hmm. Maybe the Senators haven't had a goaltending problem after all.

Maybe they have a crummy-team problem.

NO SCORE

Imagine how good Mikhail (Clutch 'n') Grabovski might be if he had a finishing touch.

Against the Caps on Thursday, he fired high on a glorious chance, alone in front.

He has one goal in his past 26 games.

But that's just one behind Jeff Finger during that span.

NO TANKS

These are confusing times for Leafs Nation.

Are the Leafs trying to win or are they trying to slip among the bottom-feeders to ensure a top-five draft pick?

Some suggest the inconsistent Gerber was brought in to help tank the season.

Some suggest Gerber was brought in to do the opposite, to help keep them respectable.

The bottom line is that the players will keep working for new contracts or to safeguard their jobs, regardless what management is thinking.

For players, winning is the only thing.

Beyond that, there is nothing more annoying than sinking to the bottom of the standings and then losing the lottery.

That's called tanks for nothin'.

I GOT MINE

Manny Ramirez, discussing the delay in getting a new contract signed with the Los Angeles Dodgers, said: "It was a bad economy. I got a great contract."

In other words: "Too bad for you, lesser humans, but I got my $45-million deal!"

COUSIN'S A-CYST

Alex Rodriguez has a cyst on his right hip.

The cyst has been drained and the fluid has been sent to a lab to determine whether it is "the clear" or "the cream."

REIGN OF TERRELL

The Dallas Cowboys have cut Terrell Owens, largely because of his deteriorating relationship with quarterback Tony Romo.

Never mind Romo preferring to throw passes to his buddy, Jason Witten, but Owens never could handle playing second fiddle to Romo's girlfriend, Jessica Simpson.

In December 2007, Owens said: "Right now, Jessica Simpson is not a fan favourite -- in this locker room or in Texas Stadium."

Right now Owens is not a fan favourite -- in the locker room or in the new retractable-roof stadium.

It seems the Cowboys felt that for games when the lid would have to be closed, it couldn't contain Owens' ego.

ICED CAPUCCINO

Thanks to its sponsorship deal with Tim Hortons, you will notice a few changes to the Brier, which starts today in Calgary.

The following terms now have new names:

Rocks: Timbits.

The four-foot: The double-double.

The button: The strawberry cruller.

And takeouts will be referred to as drive-thrus.

GARY.LOEWEN@SUNMEDIA.CA


Videos

Photos