The Hockey Horror Picture Show played downtown on Monday, ending with a crowd shouting "boo" on cue every time the spooked Maple Leafs appeared.
The 13-game mark and Halloween eve seems the appropriate time to dig up the book on the Leafs, who've been playing trick or treat with fans all month with maddening hot-and-cold, home-and-road play. And in the spirit of the season, we suggest the appropriate costume this evening:
CAPTAIN MATS SUNDIN
TRICK: Dubious own-zone coverage.
TREAT: Off to his best start as a Leaf with 19 points.
COSTUME: Captain Stubing, skipper of the Love Boat.
TRICK: On pace for just half of last year's 40 goals.
TREAT: Playing with an edge, despite serious illness.
COSTUME: Bart Simpson.
TOMAS KABERLE AND PAVEL KUBINA
TRICK: Puck-handling gaffes on the rise, especially Kubina.
TREAT: Seventeen combined points.
COSTUME: SNL's Festrunk Brothers, those wild and crazy guys from Czechoslovakia.
TRICK: Home wrecker.
TREAT: Road warrior.
COSTUME: Jason Voorhees, the goalie-masked slasher from Friday the 13th. Next victim? His own defencemen.
TRICK: Cement skates.
TREAT: Fighting for NHL plus/minus lead.
COSTUME: Lurch, the valet from the Addams Family.
TRICK: Can't bury linemate's great passes.
TREAT: Clears out the corners.
COSTUME: Arnold Schwarzenegger, circa The Terminator.
TRICK: Could not sustain a strong training camp.
TREAT: Big shot, big shoulders.
COSTUME: What's My Line? alumnus Soupy Sales.
TRICK: No assists yet this year.
TREAT: Getting more power-play time with McCabe out.
COSTUME: Tiny terror Stewie from Family Guy.
TRICK: Still buffaloed by fateful own-goal.
TREAT: Can still shoot and lay on the body.
COSTUME: Just a sheet over his head to conceal himself in public.
MATT STAJAN, ALEX STEEN AND JOHN POHL
TRICK: Often play like rookies.
TREAT: Often play like veterans.
COSTUMES: Interchangeable Joker, Riddler and Penguin.
TRICK: Glacial speed a detriment.
TREAT: Good reach, draws hard-checking jobs, five-on-three specialist.
TRICK: Injuries have hampered his physical game.
TREAT: Maintains a scoring touch.
COSTUME: Ditched Sideshow Bob for Tasmanian Devil.
TRICK: Can't get on a roll, missed chance to be No. 1.
TREAT: Can't hurt to be pushed by Toskala.
COSTUME: Inherited Antropov's old pinata outfit.
KYLE WELLWOOD AND CARLO COLAIACOVO
TRICK: Can't stay healthy.
TREAT: No. 2 centre and top-six defenceman.
COSTUME: Frodo/The Mummy.
COACH PAUL MAURICE
TRICK: Players tune him out on defence.
TREAT: Players tune him in on offence.
COSTUME: Teemu Selanne.
GM JOHN FERGUSON
TRICK: His trades and free agents mostly ineffective.
TREAT: Entire roster about three weeks from full health.
COSTUME: Gene Wilder's Young Frankenstein: "Give my creation LIFE!"