Sens can't duck pressure

EARL MCRAE -- Sun Media

, Last Updated: 10:16 AM ET

More homer-free musings from the Four-Eyed Lippy Little Shin Kicker on the Sixth of June: D-(Ducks) Day for the Ottawa Senators who can't solve Huey, Dewey, Louie, and Scrooge McDuck in goal.

(1) Dean Brown. The radio play-by-play vocal cords of the Senators who've reverted to the Senatesnores of old. After the Snores' Monday loss, Mr. Brown declared that from here on in "the pressure is off" the Snores, and repeated it several times -- "the pressure is off" the Snores.

Uh, excuse ME? The pressure is OFF the Snores? How in hell can the pressure be OFF the Snores? If the Snores lose one more game, they're DEAD. No, Mr. Brown. The pressure is now ON the Snores like it ain't ever been on the Snores this season and if the Snores don't realize that, they deserve to be dead right now as we speak, forget playing tonight.

(2) Mike Eastwood. Team 1200 hockey analyst, former NHL player of effectively average talent. Let all the broadcast "journalists" of shameless homerism learn from Mike Eastwood, the best, most insightful, non-partisan, local analyst of them all who isn't corrupted by a compulsion to rah-rah for the home team, to come up with excuses for its dismal play that no excuses can possibly excuse. Mike Eastwood. A rare and refreshing credit to the genre.

(3) Attention all local radio and TV talking head alleged "journalists": Shocking as it might seem, you are NOT supposed to be PR extensions and bedmates of the Sens. When babbling about the Sens, it's not "we" and "us" and "our." Credibility, please.

(4) The Chris Pronger suspension. Colin Campbell, NHL senior executive vice-president and director of hockey operations, says the injury to the Pronger-nailed Dean McAmmond (no penalty called) was a definite factor in the decision to suspend Pronger for one game, or to quote Campbell: "The injury you cause is certainly one of the important criteria of (supplemental) discipline" and "... if there's no injury on the play, I don't think this act warranted supplemental discipline if it didn't cause the player to be knocked out."

Question for Campbell: What if a player who gets elbowed to the head goes down, jumps right up, continues playing, no penalty called, and said player doesn't start showing the delayed-reaction effects of the elbow to the head until a period or two later, or after the game, with, say, serious nausea, vomiting, passing out, and the club doctor says it's all because of the elbow hit -- are you, Colin Campbell, still going to impose a suspension on the instigator at that point? After all, the elbow caused the injury, right? You know the answer to that one, folks. NO.

(5) Don Cherry. Daniel Alfredsson winds up, whomps Scott Niedermayer with a wicked slapshot. Scott Niedermayer, who's well off to the side from the direct path to the Ducks' net. Cherry gives Alfredsson "the benefit of the doubt" that he wasn't trying to nail Niedermayer. Right, Donald. Sniper Alfredsson, renowned for his horribly inaccurate shooting.

(6) Don Cherry again. His increasingly croaky voice. The suspense killing as to whether he'll make it through Coach's Corner. The Shin Kicker phones Prad, the Shin Kicker's friendly pharmacist at White Haven Pharmacy. "Prad. Don Cherry's voice. Have you noticed?" Prad's noticed. "What do you recommend?" Prad: "Honey and lemon lozenges. Halls or Vicks. One to suck on every few hours. They will soothe the throat and he'll be fine."

(7) The Anaheim Ducks are possessive and proud, but they don't mind at all that the Senators have taken to impersonating Daisy.


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