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It was like the old hockey joke about going to a fight when a hockey game broke out.
We were at a Stanley Cup final when a comedy festival broke out.
It was the morning after Ryan Smyth had scored the winner with 2:15 to go in Game 3 to keep the Edmonton Oilers alive. The day-after storyline was the concept of Smyth being a guy with no ability who is able to manufacture a multitude of massive goals to win big hockey games.
Ethan Moreau started it.
"I don't know. It's a mystery," he began.
"We try to figure out how he scores so much all the time.
"He has a horrible shot - a terrible stick.
"You watch him in practice and sometimes he winds up and takes a slap shot. My five-year-old can shoot better.
"What a typical Ryan Smyth goal. Off his chest."
Chris Pronger was up next on this hockey version of open mic night.
'WORST SHOT ANYONE HAS EVER SEEN'
"Smytty's shot is a muffin," he said.
"I don't know how they go in but they go in."
Even Georges Laraque checked in ...
"It's worse than a muffin, actually. It's the worst shot anyone has ever seen. And that stick of his - the blade is straight.
"I've always wondered how he even raises the puck.
"Smytty isn't one of those star-type guys who looks lazy. He's not one of those star-type guys who gets three goals and two assists and comes to the dressing room without a bruise on his body. He's got a bruise for every point he's ever scored in this league. But he doesn't leave too many bruises with that shot."
Linemate Shawn Horcoff said it's true.
"Worst shot in the league. Worst stick in the league. When you break your stick, his stick is the last one you want to have handed to you. And he has a knack of putting it out there for somebody to grab. The good thing is that a righty or a lefty can use it.
"It's so heavy. No one under the age of 10 can lift it. It comes with a slight curve to the right and Smytty actually bends it to the left to straighten it out. One day we're doing our sticks together and he tells me, 'This is way too curved.' I look at it and I can't see a curve in it at all."
Steve Staios laughs.
"The telling tale is to ask him how many goals he has from the top of the circle. Two. Career. Both were deflected."
Dwayne Roloson said he can't tell a lie.
"I can shoot it harder than Smytty.
"That's using my goal stick with my blocker and glove and shooting from the wrong side."
Rem Murray says his stick should go in a museum when his career is over. "He uses a big paddle. It's like a badminton paddle. His slap shot doesn't go 55 miles per hour."
Coach Craig MacTavish ended up as the keynote speaker.
"He's got 38 or 36 or 37 goals and you know where they are coming from," he said of an area about the size of your average bathroom.
"He's pretty hard to stop when he gets in those areas. But at times you can see Gary Bettman's name on the puck when he shoots it.
TURNING UP THE HEAT
"Wasn't it Howie Meeker who had the great line? 'Can't skate. Can't shoot. Can't handle the puck. What a hockey player!' "
As is the tradition at a good roast, and this definitely was one, the roastee eventually gets a time for rebuttal.
Smyth was informed of some of the zingers he took on the day to celebrate his ultimate moment after all those years of spending his springs going to the World Hockey Championships as Captain Canada.
"Oh geez," he said. "I'm speechless.
"Yeah, I'm not the flashiest player, that's for sure. Everybody knows my style. I get a lot of those goals like I did (Saturday) night. The guys tease me all the time. It's non-stop. It's pretty much everybody in the locker room."
That's true, said Horcoff.
"We're on him all the time. He seems to enjoy it. And the more we get on him, the better he seems to play."
If that's the case, boy is he going to have a big game tonight.