Buffalo has a lot of things going for it ... really!
One of them isn't its hockey team, which is about to get knocked to the sidelines in what has become a ridiculously one-sided Eastern Conference final.
But Sabres aside, Buffalo's really not a bad place.
HOW 'BOUT THEM BILLS?
Buffalo, after all, has a National Football League team: The Bills. At one time, with Jim Kelly at the helm, the Bills were good -- very good. And they won a Super Bowl ... oh, wait a second, they didn't win. They lost Super Bowl XXV on a missed 47-yard field goal by Scott Norwood. Oops. Sorry.
And Buffalo was home to O.J. Simpson. The Juice. You remember ... murder trial ... "if the glove doesn't fit, you must acquit" ... yeah, that O.J.!
Of course, we shouldn't be picking on Buffalo for its football inadequacies. Our football team, the Renegades, once drafted a dead guy. And you can bet that the dead guy may have been better than a couple of the other stiffs our football brainiacs selected that day.
You might not think of Buffalo as Hollywood North, but a scene from Planes, Trains and Automobiles was filmed nearby. Uh, those aren't pillows! The Natural, a flick that's gotta be on everybody's Top 10 sports movies of all-time, was filmed there.
GOT GOO GOO DOLLS
And Buffalo has The Goo Goo Dolls. Iris. Better Days. Slide. Great stuff. You won't see me slagging The Goos.
Buffalo has Buffalo wings. And the Anchor Bar. But I'm not buying into that "Best Wings Anywhere" crap. Ottawa's got some pretty good wing dings of its own ... Local Heroes, Marshy's and others are on a par with anyone.
Okay, so it's hockey time.
Damn, we once had a quitter named Dominik Hasek guarding our goal. Let's see, I'm just scanning the NHL record books ... wait, Buffalo also had a quitter named Dominik Hasek guarding its goal, at least when he didn't have a hangnail keeping him off the ice.
Geez, Ottawa and Buffalo aren't so different after all.
Except for our hockey teams. See ya later, Buffalonians.