Sen should be Long gone

Dany Heatley has now asked for a trade from the only two NHL teams he's ever played for. (Sun...

Dany Heatley has now asked for a trade from the only two NHL teams he's ever played for. (Sun Media/Blair Gable)

DON BRENNAN, SUN MEDIA

, Last Updated: 8:57 AM ET

The ideal destination for Dany Heatley?

How about Long Island?

Think about it.

First of all, the spoiled, selfish suck-hole would hate it there.

Perfect.

Next, the Islanders were victimized by then-Panthers GM Bryan Murray on June 24, 2000 (when they took Mark Parrish and Oleg Kvasha for Roberto Luongo and Olli Jokinen) in the second-most lopsided trade this decade.

Second only to the fleecing they received by then-Senators GM Marshall Johnston (when they accepted Alexei Yashin for Bill Muckalt, Zdeno Chara and a first-round pick immediately turned into Jason Spezza) just 364 days later.

Surely the Isles can be tricked by Murray and the Senators again.

Granted, the GM was finally booted off the Island. But the same king still rules.

Owner Charles B. Wang.

He would have to love Heatley, who has proven to be the modern-day Yashin.

And if Wang could be fooled into giving away Chara and Spezza for a heartless, one-dimensional Russian, it only figures he'd be okay trading the No. 1 overall pick for a heartless, one-dimensional Canadian.

But wait, before you Ottawa fans start debating whether Murray should draft John Tavares or Victor Hedman, get this: if Heatley has his way, he won't go anywhere he doesn't want to. His no-movement clause has not necessarily been rescinded just because he has now decided he wants to move. The talk is Heatley is pushing for a clause on the clause. He wants final approval on his destination.

There are more than 7.5 million reasons (or 37.5 million over the next five years) why it's going to be tough to move Heatley.

Dany boy has baggage. A loading dock full.

He has now asked for a trade from the only two NHL teams he's ever been on. He likes Ottawa and his teammates so much, yet just four seasons after the Senators gave him a new lease on life, he is ripping it up.

Why? All we have been fed to this point are suggestions that he has a problem with coach Cory Clouston. Never mind that under Clouston, the Senators appear to have turned the corner back to respectability. Never mind that, despite missing the playoffs for the first time in a dozen years, they disappeared over the horizon to the sounds of cheering, not booing. Never mind that some even think next season, they will not just challenge for a playoff spot, but first place in their division, maybe even the conference.

ONE MESSED-UP DUDE

This is not enough to excite or even appease Heatley. How come? Because he doesn't like the fact his ice time slipped under Clouston? Because he was demoted to the second power-play unit? Because he might not score 50 again under this system?

Is that really it, Dany? If so, you truly are one messed-up dude. If not, you better step up and explain what's what. Or we're left to believe it is so.

So now the GM who acquires Heatley must break the good news and bad news to his coach ... that he's traded for Heatley. You'll love him, as long as he likes you.

Left to him, Heatley would likely vote for the obscurity of San Jose and the soft passes of Joe Thornton. But the Sharks would have to do some nifty budget juggling.

Only the Islanders, Kings, Coyotes, Thrashers, Predators and Maple Leafs are able to take on Heatley's salary without dumping some of their own. Of that group, he might consent to the Kings and Predators, where media coverage is minimal. Just the way Heatley will want it.

Forget the Leafs. Toronto Sun columnist Steve Simmons would make Heatley cry like a schoolgirl. Same reason it's hard to imagine the sensitive sniper agreeing to a swap that would put the jersey of the Canadiens, Flames, Oilers, Canucks, Rangers, Bruins, Wings, Flyers, 'Hawks or Sabres over his weak shoulders.

He'd long for the day he was back in Ottawa, where for various reasons he was an object around which a lot of tip-toeing was done.

Anyway, the Senators are better off without him. Heatley doesn't have the spine to fight through the checking done by the Penguins and Wings these days. Anyone who has watched him play can see he doesn't have the jam or desire to excel in the Stanley Cup final.

He's too preoccupied with another goal. His next one.

Yes, what's most important to Dany Heatley is now obvious. It's Dany Heatley.


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