Christmas wishes for the Senators

CHRIS STEVENSON, DON BRENNAN AND BRUCE GARRIOCH

, Last Updated: 8:14 AM ET

JASON SPEZZA

Maybe some nice, freshly-harvested wooden sticks (he did so well with them) and some chemistry with new linemates not named Dany.

DANY HEATLEY

Another 50-goal season in his stocking, especially on a team struggling to find the net this year. We'll throw in some good book sales and a thicker skin, too.

CHRIS KELLY

A return to the plus side of the ledger and a stick that doesn't break just when he's going to clear the zone while killing a penalty.

ILYA ZUBOV

A friend at customs. And a hockey number. Stuff one in Cody Bass' stocking, too. You know you're not a regular NHLer when they send you out with a 53 or a 58 on your back.

ALEXANDRE PICARD

More patience and poise and a few more points on the power play.

JARKKO RUUTU

Another constant for the last name. A Canadiens toque to wear in Montreal, just so crazy Habs fans don't jump him. And a big bottle of Scope, to show a little consideration for the opponents with whom he goes nose-to-nose.

FILIP KUBA

A new contract because he's been their best defenceman and, of course, Mattias Ohlund to play alongside him on the power play.

CODY BASS

Seasons 1-4 of Entourage. He needs something good to watch for the long drives between Ottawa and Binghamton and let's face it, there's no more entertaining a collection than Ari, Drama, Vince, E and Turtle.

DANIEL ALFREDSSON

He already has a lifetime contract with the Senators. All he needs Kris Kringle to bring him is a Stanley Cup.

SHEAN DONOVAN

More ice time for the speedy veteran. When he's been given a better chance, he's responded with some effective play.

ANTOINE VERMETTE

Lumps of coal, er, goals to ring in the New Year. Maybe he could use a new stick because the one he's using lacks goals.

CHRISTOPH SCHUBERT

A set of luggage, a change of address cards and some packing tape so he can go somewhere where he'll get a chance to play.

ANTON VOLCHENKOV

Goalie equipment, a bottle of Rub A-535 and an industrial ice-making machine for the club's shotblocker.

CHRIS NEIL

All he wants for Christmas is his two front teeth, his two front teeth, his two front teeth. But better give him a another teammate or two who don't mind dropping the gloves and finishing their checks. There's not enough of those guys in that dressing room.

NICK FOLIGNO

A trampoline. He can work on his father Mike's jump during the summer since he's not getting any practice on the ice.

CHRIS PHILLIPS

A return to form of a couple of years ago for the veteran shutdown defenceman.

JASON SMITH

An Aeroplan card. He has to collect points somehow. Also, "Gator" needs to get fed .... up. The 15-year veteran has now been around these parts long enough. He has to identify any lolligaggers or those not buying into the system and explain what's what.

MARTIN GERBER

Give him Super Mario for Nintendo because he's a dead ringer with that moustache he's been growing.

ALEX AULD

A part-time job with The Be-Sharps, the barbershop quartet founded by Homer Simpson. Alex could sing baritone (have you heard the voice?) and maybe even learn how to laugh every once in a while. If he does crack a smile now, it has to be under the mask or behind closed doors. When he returns to the rink, well, he's going to have to be sharp for the low-scoring Senators to have a chance.

BRENDAN BELL

A GPS that leads him to the top of the list of all-time NHL Bells. Right now, the 25-year-old Brendan has 59 games (Toronto Maple Leafs, Phoenix Coyotes, Ottawa Senators) under his belt, which puts him behind only Billy Bell (61 GP, 1917-24, Montreal Wanderers, Montreal Canadiens, Ottawa Senators), Joe Bell (62 GP, 1942-43, 1946-47, New York Rangers), Bruce Bell (209 GP, 1984-90, Quebec Nordiques, St. Louis Blues, New York Rangers, Edmonton Oilers), and Mark Bell (445 games, 2000-2008, Chicago Blackhawks, San Jose Sharks, Toronto Maple Leafs).

JESSE WINCHESTER

A lifetime supply of Crest for the ready- to-smile Colgate boy who needs to change his ways. Billed as a playmaking winger, he has spent most of the season alongside a centre who has just three goals. Give "Winnie" a Scoring Goals For Dummies book. Somebody's gotta start doing it.

MIKE FISHER

A multi-purpose coat hanger that will help him break into cars "every time" when it's not in the closet wearing a special gift from Don Cherry .... a new velvet LAVENDER, PINK, BROWN, GREEN AND TURQUOISE DOUBLE-BREASTED SUIT!!! Because he's been a good boy, Fisher also gets a new hockey stick. One that works.


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