Road to redemption

DON BRENNAN, BRUCE GARRIOCH, TIM BAINES, CHRIS STEVENSON, SUN MEDIA

, Last Updated: 8:48 AM ET

DON BRENNAN: I say this trip can save their season, but I doubt they'll follow my suggestion. What they need to do is stay in Vancouver an extra day and go out, as a team, to the Roxy. These guys need to loosen up in a big way. They are way too tight. They need to go out, as a team, and have a bunch of beers at a great bar. The Roxy. Monday night. Early flight to Edmonton Tuesday, for that night's game against the Oilers. A hung-over victory will be their stepping stone back to respectability. Guaranteed.

TIM BAINES: You're suggesting that they get blasted, load up on the spiked egg nog, then go play a game? I know some nights it looks like they're hung over, but I'm not sure it's the best way to win a hockey game.

BRENNAN: I'd say the same thing in November. If I would have thought of it. This, Tim, is a genius idea.

CHRIS STEVENSON: Given the Senators' record on the road -- 3-8-2 -- you could say they've looked tipsy in the games, never mind hung over. Confused, incoherent, dizzy ... all of those things Don usually just groups together as "Saturday night."

BRENNAN: All I know is it was 5 p.m. somewhere three hours ago.

STEVENSON: At least the Senators are coming off a win going into tonight's game, though it was gift-wrapped by Dallas' Marty Turco. Martin Gerber kept trying to give it to the Stars and Turco kept handing it back. If they can beat the Flyers in Philly, I'll start to believe they've turned a corner.

BRENNAN: I would never allow Marty Gerber back in goal. I'd promote Brian Elliott and put Marty in the minors, where he can't hurt them.

STEVENSON: What have Tim Murray's Bingos done to deserve that?

BRENNAN: Seriously, he must far and away be the league leader in soft, deflating goals allowed. He's probably second and third, too. Nice guy, Martin Gerber. He's just not an NHL goalie anymore.

BRUCE GARRIOCH: Anyone miss me? Yes, this trip will decide the season. The miracle turnaround better bloody well start tonight. Now or never.

STEVENSON: Bruce is fired up. He got "bloody" into his first entry.

BAINES: Bruce, you're with us. I thought you were Christmas shopping. Did you buy your wife Maria anything? It's okay, you can tell us what you bought her ... she probably doesn't read this.

GARRIOCH: I was wrapping when you guys started. Actually just landed in Philly. They better start winning here. Hopefully, Dany Heatley doesn't have the Philly flu. Expect him to play, but he wasn't on the ice today.

BAINES: Why do we continue to crap all over Martin Gerber? I actually feel sorry for him. He was great for the first part of last year. We treated him like he was the second coming of Georges Vezina. Leave the poor guy alone. I'm sure he wants to play better and more regularly.

BRENNAN: Tim, you're just being the devil's advocate, or whatever you call it. If you've watched him play, you're not defending him. I'm sorry, but I can't watch the guy play anymore. I'm sure he has problems with his eyesight. He's always losing the puck.

STEVENSON: I'm the opposite. I can't avert my gaze. You might miss something interesting.

BAINES: We ran Ray Emery out of town, now we're gunning for Gerber?

BRENNAN: Shut up, Tim.

BAINES: Shut up, Tim? Thankfully, we never drop the F-bomb on this page. That's what you really wanted to say, wasn't it?

GARRIOCH: Poor Ray. He's only pulling down $2.5 million in the KHL. Don, Martin Gerber is going to lead them to the Stanley Cup.

STEVENSON: Speaking of the Cup, Senators owner Eugene Melnyk thinks his club still has a shot. There's optimistic and then there's ... well, I don't even know what to call it. Blind faith?

GARRIOCH: We talked about that last Thursday and then the talk turned to Christmas specials.

BRENNAN: Bruce is playing the role I usually play. The change-the-topic-without-them-noticing role. But I do that when it's a dumb topic. This is a good and relevant one. Bruce, scroll back. Catch up.

GARRIOCH: Gerber is going to be fine. He's your Radek Bonk.

BRENNAN: Shut up, Bruce.

BAINES: Stop with that! That's more shut-ups than General Burkhalter used to deliver to Colonel Klink in an episode of Hogan's Heroes.

STEVENSON: Don would say Gerber is the Sens' Sgt. Schultz: "I see nothing."

BRENNAN: Okay Chris, that was funny. You made me spit Coors Light up through my nose.

BAINES: I just hope that Gerber or any of the other Senators isn't forced to date General Burkhalter's sister, Gertruda. Klink was lucky to avoid her.

BRENNAN: Easy, Tim. My mother is Gertruda.

GARRIOCH: Can we choose a bar with $2 Coors Lights for this some time? I have a fridge full in my basement.

STEVENSON: Bruce, do I take that to mean you would invite us over and then charge us $2 a beer?

BRENNAN: Why a bar then? Let's just do it at your place. Will Maria cook us up some hor dervers, h'or Dovres, or duvers ... some snacks?

GARRIOCH: Okay. I won't charge you two bucks then. That's not professional.

BAINES: One of these nights, this will be done from the ballet ... the one at the NAC, of course.

STEVENSON: Getting back to the original question, I think the Senators will have to get 10 out of 16 points -- a tall order -- to stay within sniffing distance of a playoff spot by the end of this trip. Less than that and they can get the "Fire Sale" sign ready. Some might argue it should be a "Fire Somebody" sign.


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