NHL lockout's not ending anytime soon, so send in replacement players

The contract of Senators defenceman Mike Lundin (left) -- practising with Tim Jackman of the...

The contract of Senators defenceman Mike Lundin (left) -- practising with Tim Jackman of the Calgary Flames in Minnesota in September -- represents the gap between the NHL and the players in CBA talks. There better be more than $1.17 million per player standing in the way of ending the lockout, Brennan says. (Marilyn Indahl/QMI Agency)

DON BRENNAN, QMI Agency

, Last Updated: 9:03 PM ET

Stop already.

Enough of all the bull.

This lockout is never going to end.

Can we not just jump to that conclusion and move on with life?

I mean, it would be fantastic to have the game back, of course, but it’s not going to happen, not anytime soon.

So just stop playing with our emotions Gary, Donald, Bill, Steve and every other guilty Tom, Dick and Harry.

Go away.

All us regular folk — us hundred-aires and thousand-aires — have now even grown tired of laughing at you.

The NHLPA says the NHL doesn’t want to negotiate? The NHL says the NHLPA doesn’t want to negotiate?

Excuse me?

Decertification of the union is the way to go? No, wait. The process is too lengthy? It’s not a good idea? Maybe? What?

Google and read all about it, folks, but have a bottle of Tylenol nearby.

Mediation? Nobody’s agreeing to that. Makes far too much sense.

The “gap” is now just $182 million?

That’s over the course of a new CBA that would be half a decade long, which means approximately $35 million a year, correct?

That’s about $1.17 million a team, or near what the Senators would be paying Mike Lundin.

Their sixth defenceman.

There’s got to be so much more to it than that, right? Not a little more. A lot more.

There sure as hell better be.

But maybe not. Maybe these are just kids who can’t get along. And what do we tell kids who can’t get along? Just stop playing with each other. Go play with somebody else. It’s that simple.

Many of the players have done so already, but now it’s time for the rest to go get other jobs. Not because they need to, in a lot of cases, but just to keep themselves busy.

Must be nice, eh?

A veteran told me a few days ago: “Put yourself in our shoes. What if your bosses at the Sun said you had to take a 25% pay cut. How would you like that?”

My reply? I wouldn’t. But if I made 70 grand, and they told me I was suddenly going to get half that, I’d sign the deal. I’d have to. I’d like to dig my heels in, but us people in the other working world don’t have the comfort of doing that.

Pretty sure I can’t just go and get a job writing for a paper in Europe, either. Nor can the best in my business.

So you players, go work for somebody else.

And you owners, get somebody else to wear your sweaters.

That’s right, replacement players.

Why not?

Open the doors to people who will truly appreciate the job, guys who won’t mind fixing the problems your mismanagement will inevitably create.

They’ll work for less, so you can charge a lot less for tickets.

The truth about fans is most cheer for the logo. I’m sorry, but many of them wouldn’t know good hockey from a notch or two below. That’s not a terrible thing. They go to games to support the local team and have some fun. That won’t change.

Charge less for beer, too. That will make the new on-ice product more enjoyable.

Allow us in the media to tell the stories that will endear you to your new Ottawa Senators. As hockey players, they’re sure to be good guys, deep down.

Just keep them away from Don Fehr.

Say goodbye to future deals with major sponsors and U.S. networks, but Hockey Night in Canada will always be there for you. What else does CBC have?

Say farewell to a number of American franchises, too, but at least that means fewer of those pesky players to worry about.

Now, I’m sure the suggestion of replacements or “scabs” will be met with a lot of opposition. Especially from all the unionists out there. Oh well.

And there will also be a number of kinks to iron out in the new system.

But we’ll get to all that later.

Right now is about pleading with the current cast of clowns to move on and leave us alone.

Their greed, and the nerve they have to keep holding fans hostage as they fight with each other over the billions the fans give them ... it’s well beyond frustrating and sickening.

Come out Monday morning and do the right thing, Gary Bettman.

Cancel one more chunk of the season. A big one. The rest of the schedule.

Then go away.

don.brennan@sunmedia.ca

Twitter: sundonib


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