SUN Hockey Pool

So what if Saskin was reading players' e-mails?

KATHRYN HUMPHREYS -- Special to Sun Media

, Last Updated: 10:41 AM ET

Okay. So NHLPA executive Ted Saskin read a few e-mails. Big whoop.

I mean really, what sort of earth-shattering information is he gonna glean from a couple of Pulitzer Prize-winning player postings?

This is how I imagine NHL hockey players communicating in an online chatroom. Bear in mind, this is fictitious. Lawyers are, like ... a lot of money:

Tuckerer16: "Hey guys. I just e-mailed a picture of my junk to Ferguson, and signed it LOL Maurice."

Kilgerer18: "I'm so over those saffron-coloured pedal pushers I bought in Miami. Carlo, what's your favourite colour?"

Colaiacovoser8: "Thursday."

Domes28: "Lissen, if enybudy asks, I was with yoo guys playing pool last night."

Colaiacovoser8: "No wait, it's three."

Wellwoodsie42: "Who borrowed my copy of Moliere's Le Malade Imaginaire?"

Domes28: "And just in case yer tawking to enybudy, we were bowling til midnyght on Wensday.

Tocchet22: "Sure. Coyotes by a goal?"

Janet99: "Make it 2. Listen, I'm a little short this week."

Kaberler15: "Janet, I loved you on Dance Fever. As a little boy growing up in Rakovnik, my brother Frantisek and I would drape ourselves in gold lame and recreate the dance-off between you and Adrian Zmed. I am born anew in your genius. Also, you're very bendy."

Alfredsson11: "Sens rule ... I think."

O'Neiller 92: "Did anyone catch Kathryn Humphreys on City TV last night? I find her to be so insightful, and dare I say, quite fetching.

Raycroftie1: "Those rumours about her sleeping around in college simply can't be true. There's such an air of innocence about her."

Stajansey14: "Should I trade in my Cavalier for a Miata or the Prius?"

Leeman4: "Miata. If you guys need me, I'll be in the wives' lounge.

Belaker3: "He's always in there. Oh my god, like Avril Lavigne's new video is kickin'."

Stajansey14: "Is it wrong to save myself for marriage? Jessica Simpson did."

Belaker3: "Is it wrong for me to want Heather Mills' leg to fly off during Dancing with the Stars?"

Wellwoodsie42: "Kasparov just moved his knight against rook pawn. Russian Grand Master? Hardly."

MikeDanton 257780943: "Why won't he love me back?"

Domes28: "Okay. Scrach that. We wernt bowling, we wer golfing ... on Wensday ... ya know, if enyone asks."

Belaker3: "I wish Stedman would make an honest woman of Oprah. Do you guys want to go to Wizard World this weekend? They have a bouncy castle."

Antropovsey80: "Great success with the sexy time tonight. You like?"

Domes28: "Yoo guys think I could take Peter MacKay?"

Raycroftie1: "I gotta run. Does anyone know who SassySaskin69 is? He has been online with us the whole time."


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