Okay. So NHLPA executive Ted Saskin read a few e-mails. Big whoop.
I mean really, what sort of earth-shattering information is he gonna glean from a couple of Pulitzer Prize-winning player postings?
This is how I imagine NHL hockey players communicating in an online chatroom. Bear in mind, this is fictitious. Lawyers are, like ... a lot of money:
Tuckerer16: "Hey guys. I just e-mailed a picture of my junk to Ferguson, and signed it LOL Maurice."
Kilgerer18: "I'm so over those saffron-coloured pedal pushers I bought in Miami. Carlo, what's your favourite colour?"
Domes28: "Lissen, if enybudy asks, I was with yoo guys playing pool last night."
Colaiacovoser8: "No wait, it's three."
Wellwoodsie42: "Who borrowed my copy of Moliere's Le Malade Imaginaire?"
Domes28: "And just in case yer tawking to enybudy, we were bowling til midnyght on Wensday.
Tocchet22: "Sure. Coyotes by a goal?"
Janet99: "Make it 2. Listen, I'm a little short this week."
Kaberler15: "Janet, I loved you on Dance Fever. As a little boy growing up in Rakovnik, my brother Frantisek and I would drape ourselves in gold lame and recreate the dance-off between you and Adrian Zmed. I am born anew in your genius. Also, you're very bendy."
Alfredsson11: "Sens rule ... I think."
O'Neiller 92: "Did anyone catch Kathryn Humphreys on City TV last night? I find her to be so insightful, and dare I say, quite fetching.
Raycroftie1: "Those rumours about her sleeping around in college simply can't be true. There's such an air of innocence about her."
Stajansey14: "Should I trade in my Cavalier for a Miata or the Prius?"
Leeman4: "Miata. If you guys need me, I'll be in the wives' lounge.
Belaker3: "He's always in there. Oh my god, like Avril Lavigne's new video is kickin'."
Stajansey14: "Is it wrong to save myself for marriage? Jessica Simpson did."
Belaker3: "Is it wrong for me to want Heather Mills' leg to fly off during Dancing with the Stars?"
Wellwoodsie42: "Kasparov just moved his knight against rook pawn. Russian Grand Master? Hardly."
MikeDanton 257780943: "Why won't he love me back?"
Domes28: "Okay. Scrach that. We wernt bowling, we wer golfing ... on Wensday ... ya know, if enyone asks."
Belaker3: "I wish Stedman would make an honest woman of Oprah. Do you guys want to go to Wizard World this weekend? They have a bouncy castle."
Antropovsey80: "Great success with the sexy time tonight. You like?"
Domes28: "Yoo guys think I could take Peter MacKay?"
Raycroftie1: "I gotta run. Does anyone know who SassySaskin69 is? He has been online with us the whole time."