Trap-master hates rules

TED WYMAN -- Winnipeg Sun

, Last Updated: 12:16 PM ET

All you need to know about the new rules implemented by the NHL this year is this: Jacques Lemaire hates them.

Who knew they'd work so well, so quickly?

ROUGH STUFF: It was a tough week for the NHL. Poor, downtrodden American player Jeremy Roenick got hammered by Denis Gauthier, whined about getting hit in the pre-season and, in yet another profanity-laced rant, suggested only Canadians are allowed to gripe. Roenick's teammate Sean Avery's inner Cro-Magnon came out and he insulted all French Canadians who wear visors in a diatribe that would make Don Cherry proud. Finally, the NHL and its players association went before U.S. Congress and suggested performance-enhancing drugs are not a problem in hockey. It's true, they are not as long as you've got your head in frozen sand.

Good to see things getting back to normal.

TUMMY TUCK: So obviously getting that gastric bypass surgery really worked for Diego Maradona, which is great, because his previous use of the Kate Moss diet wasn't going at all well ... Nobody has gotten rid of 110 pounds that quickly since Brad Pitt dumped Jennifer Aniston ... Is anyone in the CFL finally going to admit that Joe Paopao is a lousy coach? Lonie Glieberman could win as many games as the Throwin' Samoan ... Apparently, the Winnipeg Blue Bombers are on a bye week. Sadly, they have just as much chance of winning this week as they did last, and next. Actually, hasn't this whole season been a bye? ... New item for my Christmas list: the Baltimore Orioles 2005 media guide featuring Sammy Sosa, Rafael Palmeiro and Miguel Tejada on the front. Can't wait to play Find The Hidden Syringe ... Anyone who saw the Blue Jays lose to the Red Sox on Thursday has to believe David Ortiz is the MVP of the American League. Not only did he homer to tie the game and single to win it, but he's done that all year. He has 20 homers from the seventh inning on this season and has hit 20 homers that have tied the game or given the Sox the lead. That's the definition of clutch.

HOME OF THE BRAVES: Is there a more incredible streak in sports than the one put together by the Atlanta Braves?

The Braves won their 14th straight division title this week, a mind-boggling run that must have other teams in the NL East begging baseball to add more wild cards to the post-season.

It's been 15 years since the Braves started the impressive streak and a lot has happened in that time. Let's play the numbers game:

0 - Number of combined division titles won by the Montreal Expos (robbed in 1994), Florida Marlins, Milwaukee Brewers, Colorado Rockies, New York Mets, Tampa Bay Devil Rays, Kansas City Royals and Detroit Tigers since 1991

1 - Number of World Series won by the Atlanta Braves

2 - Number of World Series won by the Marlins, despite never winning a division title.

1 - Number of managers (Bobby Cox) used by the Braves during their streak

5.07 - Average number of managers used by all other teams in baseball during that time period. Chicago Cubs and Kansas City Royals have had eight managers

12 - Number of playoff series wins by the Braves during the streak

12 - Number of playoff series losses by the Braves during the streak

32 - Julio Franco's age when the Braves started their streak

47 - Julio Franco's age now

274 - Number of combined games behind the leaders of the AL East the Tampa Bay Devil Rays have been in their eight-year history en route to seven fifth-place finishes and one fourth

0 - Number of games behind a leader the Braves have finished since 1991

Some other numbers that have absolutely nothing to do with the Braves but are kind of interesting:

12 - Combined number of arrests, drug suspensions, violations of probation and jail terms for Darryl Strawberry since 1991

5 - Cy Youngs won by Roger Clemens, with four different teams, since 1991

596 - Home runs hit by Barry Bonds since 1991 to go along with six MVP awards

2,418 - Possibly-tainted hits by Rafael Palmeiro since 1991

80 million - Whispers about steroid use pertaining to the above two players since 1991, give or take a whisper


Videos

Photos