SUN Hockey Pool

Addition through subtraction

ERIC FRANCIS -- Calgary Sun

, Last Updated: 7:43 AM ET

So, they finally put the NHL season to rest. Took long enough.

While there are at least a half dozen people in every Canadian city who still care about the league at this point, others can take solace in the fact there are plenty of positives associated with a world devoid of the NHL:

* No more Chris Chelios.

* No more Cotton-eyed Joe between whistles.

* No more Stanley Cup talk from Leafs fans.

* No more pocket dawgs for dinner.

* No more Bob and Gary love letters.

* No more Matt Barnaby smirks.

* No more live cut-ins or half-hour specials updating hockey fans on, well, nothing.

* No more clutch.

* No more grab.

* No more intermission interviews with players praising the virtues of giving 110%.

* No more nerds bragging about their fantasy hockey team.

* No more Blue Jackets versus Predators.

* No more hockey in June.

* No banner unfurling for the Lightning.

* No more General Managing for Dummies demonstrations from Mike Milbury.

* No more stupid rumours sending Nik Antropov west for Markus Naslund.

* No more talk about how the game needs to be fixed.

* No more Brett Hull sound bites insulting fans.

* No more instigating.

* No more 'Gretzky coming out of retirement' scares.

* No more cancellation countdown clocks.

* No more Roll-up-the-Rim-to-Win ads on CBC.

* No more Nick Kypreos.

* No more gratuitous comments from players or owners who "feel sorry for the fans."

* No more shameless columns from NHLPA shills.

* No more stories about five-pin bowling ratings dwarfing the NHL's numbers.

* No more Barry Melrose mullets.

* No more million-dollar deals for 19-year-olds.

* No more Wild versus Ducks.

* No more upper-body injuries.

* No more lower-body injuries.

* No more arbitration hearings.

* No more Alexei Yashin.

* No more 1-0 games.

* No more talk-show hosts dissecting powerplay strategies.

* No more dump and chase.

* No more hits from behind.

* No more $7 beers, $10 parking or $100 tickets.

* No more hockey jerseys worn to work.

* No more left-wing lock.

* No more Sean Avery.

* No more Mike Keenan.

* No more Bure brothers.

No more NHL?

No problem.


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