So what's a guy to do without hockey, you ask? Well, with so much time on my hands (yeah, right) I thought I would rewrite The Hockey Song. Here's my new (and definitely not improved) version, with all apologies to Stompin' Tom Connors:
Hello out there, does anyone care, there's no hockey night tonight?
No Sakic, Forsberg, Lemieux or Iginla, or any of the like.
Bettman says change the game and the players won't take the blame
Does anyone know how long this will take, this ridiculous lockout shame?
(Chorus)
Oh, this stupid lockout game, won't anyone take the blame?
Without our Ron MacLean, Saturday night's kinda lame.
Second period
When rhetoric flows, no one scores and we're all left to wonder
Who's at fault, Bob or Gary, for this colossal financial blunder.
They both storm the press trying to make fans second-guess or change the public's opinion
But what's on our minds is 30 games have fallen behind, to which the owners say, 'Hey, what's another $30 million?'
(Chorus)
Oh, this stupid lockout game, won't anyone take the blame.
Without our Ron MacLean, Saturday night's kinda lame
Third period
We're six months in and still no win, this lockout seems set to linger
Gary's cryin', Bob's sighin' and the fans are givin' 'em both the finger
It's summertime, the weather is fine, and interest has now waned
Does anyone recall what started this all, something about a hockey game?
(Chorus)
Oh, this stupid lockout game, won't anyone take the blame.
Without our Ron MacLean, Saturday night's kinda lame
(Everyone)
Oh, this stupid lockout game, won't anyone take the blame.
Without our Ron McLean, Saturday night's kinda lame
Hey, I'm a sportswriter, not Leonard Cohen!
- - -
Which brings us to this. Many of you are obviously finding other things to do with not only your time, but your entertainment dollar.
The Alberta Junior Hockey League is, of course, just one option.
Great hockey. Covered the league for many years. But you would think the local squads would try and take advantage of the scenario. Not that they don't put out a good product, but has anyone noticed the three local teams (Fort Saskatchewan, Sherwood Park and Spruce Grove) are a combined 4-10-1 in their starts!
Not that winning is what it's all about. If that was the case there wouldn't be 30 sellouts a year at Rexall Place. You remember where the Oilers, um, play, don't ya?
- - -
Which brings us to this. If the lockout would end tomorrow the Oilers would open camp with Mike York, Shawn Horcoff, Jarret Stoll and an injured Marty Reasoner at centre. The Oilers media guide has Reasoner, Horcoff and Stoll all listed at six-foot-one - certainly a fib on Reasoner's part, likely a stretch for the other two as well. And York is five-foot-10. As a collective do they scare any of you? Didn't think so. But I still believe Stoll will be a player and he has one of the most underrated shots in the entire NHL.
What I want to know is, if there's a lockout and no one is playing, then why are NHL coaches, management and executive still getting paid? Now, I realize scouts are certainly earning their keep (and they should likely make more), but is there a secret hockey team around that the mucky-mucks are running? Not to mope, but with most fans whining about how much money NHLers make, it would also be nice to get paid for doing NOTHING.
