I quite often chuckle whenever I read or hear somebody like Detroit Red Wings defenceman Chris Chelios say he thinks Wayne Gretzky should be the commissioner of the NHL. The premise, of course, is that Gretzky would always have the best interests of the game at heart and would be a benevolent dictator, ruling with the wisdom of Solomon and always acting in the best interests of the game.
A nice thought, but Chelios loses sight of the fact the commissioner's job is not to act in the best interests of the game, but in the best interests of the 30 owners who employ him.
Nobody looks out for the best interests of the game, which is probably why we find ourselves where we are today.
HEAR AND THERE: On the televisions screens at a Montreal sports bar yesterday: Game 7 of the Ottawa Senators-Toronto Maple Leafs series last spring. "Still haven't seen Radek Bonk," said one customer ... A Canadian newspaper has a cat picking NFL games this season. She's 41-44-3 so far this season against the spread. A good bet today? Even the cat won't take the Bengals (though she did take the Lions, Jaguars and Panthers). She says take the Broncos and six ... If you were late getting to your seat Friday night at the Bell Centre, you missed a lot. There were something like five fights in the first seven seconds of the North American Hockey League game between Verdun and Laval.
REVELATIONS: There's nothing like a little motivational move by a coach. In Quebec City, the junior Remparts were struggling. That's the team owned by former NHL great Patrick Roy, who constructed a dressing room worthy of the Colorado Avalanche, his old NHL club, in Le Colisee Pepsi. The Remparts were moved out of their palatial digs and put in one of the dressing rooms used for the Quebec peewee tournament. They scored 17 goals in their next two games and moved back in ... The Renegades lost receiver Pat Woodcock yesterday. The way things have gone, the parking lot at Lansdowne should just be designated one big handicapped parking lot.
SPECULATIONS: Remember the good old days when you would look down the first- or third-base line and see a ball girl with a pretty face, short shorts and a tank top? Now it's riot cops with plenty of Mace, short tempers and a tank backing them up ... Montreal Alouettes coach Don Matthews goes by the nickname, "The Don." He looked the part yesterday as he was dressed in black from head to foot. He took his oath of Canadian citizenship before the game.
LEMME SAY THIS ABOUT THAT: Coming soon to an NHL channel near you: Columbus Blue Jackets "Classic" games ... Former Senators goaltender Ron Tugnutt turned 37 Friday. He's living in Ottawa ... It might just be me, but why, when faced with a second-and-10, would a team throw a five-yard pass? The Renegades did that yesterday in the first half. Useless.
JUST WONDERING: If you were thinking about playing golf at the Old Course at St. Andrews next year, almost all the tee times have been booked except for a few in April. Just in case you were wondering ... Three Guys on the Radio, who make up the morning show on The Team 1200 (in more ways than one), were having a poll the other day on the best slow song in a gentleman's entertainment establishment. Isn't the best song pretty much the last one you heard?
NAPKIN NOTES: Hey, they're showing movies on the CBC on Saturday night instead of NHL hockey. Next week's should be a remake of National Lampoon's European Vacation, a story of some Canadian kids who were in Europe working hard to keep their dream alive, but lost their jobs because some millionaires wanted to stay in shape. Billy Bob Thornton plays Joe.
CYBERSPACED (the way e-mails should be): renegades@ambulance.ca.
chris.stevenson@ott.sunpub.com
