Hey Tiger, put a muzzle on your caddie

GARY LOEWEN

, Last Updated: 7:48 AM ET

Hey, Sean Avery, we've found you a new career.

Professional golf caddie.

Surely, Steve Williams will sloppily second that motion.

Avery's career as a hockey player is in limbo, his potty mouth having landed him a six-game suspension from the NHL followed by a pink slip from the Dallas Stars.

Williams -- Tiger Woods' bag-carrying bully -- said the other day of pro golfer Phil Mickelson: "I hate the pr---."

How's that for your proverbial pot-meet-kettle?

Mickelson has his detractors but he also has legions of fans.

Williams? He has his detractors.

Willliams is a glorified porter and camera-smasher.

He happens to be wealthy because he is lucky enough to be employed by the world's No. 1 golfer, Woods.

At times, Williams takes his role a little too seriously and becomes a bodyguard with a nasty streak, hassling golf fans and photographers.

"He (Mickelson) pays me no respect at all and hence I don't pay him any respect," Williams said. "It's no secret we don't get along, either."

Put a head cover on it, Steve.

While you're at it, show Avery the ropes.

LOONEY TUNES

I wish Mats Sundin would hurry up and decide where he is going to play hockey.

I need to know whether the New York Rangers or Vancouver Canucks will become my least favourite team.

LOONEY TUNES II

Because of a two-game suspension, Providence Bruins centre Wacey Rabbit won't play in Toronto tomorrow against the Marlies.

He was suspended for a hit from behind.

You remember Wacey Rabbit ... looks like he finally got back at the mean old Elmer Fudd.

GOOBER IN THE GOB

Pittsburgh Steelers punter Mitch Berger still is rinsing with mouthwash after an altercation during a game against the Baltimore Ravens.

Berger alleged that Ravens cornerback Frank Walker tried to take out Pittsburgh placekicker Jeff Reed's knees after an extra point.

Berger tried to intervene.

"I tried to get in the middle to separate (them) but (Walker) got in my face and spit right in my mouth. He spit right in my mouth.

"I'm still trying to spit that ... out. I was talking to him, trying to separate everybody and he spit right in my mouth."

SAY WHAT

Richard Wood, who played linebacker for the 1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers, empathizes with the winless Detroit Lions. That Bucs team finished 0-14.

The Lions are 0-14 now and potentially could go 0-16.

"I saw the highlights and I thought, 'Oh, my God. Again? I mean, just give 'em one win, can't you?' " Wood, 55, told the Detroit News.

"It's tough, it really is. I don't wish it on anybody."


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