Lawsuits are as American as the Super Bowl

BILL LANHOF, QMI Agency

, Last Updated: 6:20 PM ET

TORONTO - The Super Bowl is history so now people can get back to America’s other national pastime.

Litigation.

A lawsuit seeking $5 million plus damages on behalf of 1,400 fans who didn’t get the seats they believed they had purchased has been filed in Dallas.

It accuses the NFL, the Dallas Cowboys and Jerry Jones of breach of contract, fraud and deceptive sales practices. The only question here is what took them so long?

Americans sue each other more often than any other society. There are nearly 300 million Americans and one million of them are lawyers. Which means that whenever people bump into each other, rather than “Excuse Me.” someone’s yelling, “I’ll see you in court!”

This suit alleges the Cowboys put season-ticket holders in folding chairs (oh, the shame! The pain!), some with obstructed views (Sweet torture!), and also represents 400 ticketholders who had to move to standing room (Save us. O Lord, from such tribulation) because guardrails were not in place.

The NFL, which has its own team of lawyers knows all about these kind of legal puddles, having won a couple lawsuits itself last week against the players. They’re kinda busy with the whole lockout thingy? So, they tried common sense. They offered money ($2,400 per person), tickets to future Super Bowls, accommodation and plane fare, merchandise and pretty much everything this side of the Lombardi Trophy itself.

Silly NFL.

This is the same country where a woman won millions because she burned herself with the coffee she bought at a restaurant. And, this year’s winner of the Stella Award — named after that woman — went to the buyer of a Winnebago who set it on cruise control while doing 70 mph and left the drivers‚ seat to go back and make herself a sandwich. Apparently she was much surprised when it crashed. A jury awarded her $1.75 million in damages and a new motor home because the owners’ manual didn’t state the driver shouldn’t leave the drivers’ seat just because cruise control was on. Go figure. Only in America, where common sense should never come between a fool and his windfall.

So, an L.A law firm figures they have got a slam dunk when it comes to this Super Bowl suit. “We think that this is a pretty straightforward matter,” Michael Avenatti of Eagan Avenatti told the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. “People did not obtain what they were told they were going to get.”

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bill.lankhof@sunmedia.ca


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