Something stinks

TROY WESTWOOD

, Last Updated: 2:40 PM ET

Could you smell that this morning? It was coming in from the West. Just about made me puke. Some kind of bizarre mixture of dirty old socks and pickle juice. Used to think only my Aunt Fay smelled like that.

Turns out my beautiful Aunt Fay, she has five of her own teeth, was just one of the many of the tens of thousands in Saskabush to carry that scent with them. They are known as the Rider Nation, and they smell like dirty old socks and pickle juice.

If I may speak in general terms we as Manitobans and Bombers fans will find them offensive to look at as well. Can actually cause a sharp pain in your eye. Not a whole lot different than what most everyone felt, if they caught a glimpse of Wade Miller as he waddled into the shower. I'm still receiving counseling for those years.

Thousands from the Rider Nation will be crossing the border later this week. Can't Gary Doer and Sam Katz do something to stop this? Couldn't we claim visual pollution, and ban their entry into Manitoba? It's so hard to look at all of that green, and how many toothless yaps can anyone take?

And those family trees! What the heck! The ol' "my brother's sister is my momma ..." No way! Stay west of that border you hillbillies!

Please, if you have any compassion for the Manitoban genetic pool, jump back into the ol' combine, or two-ton pickup with the gun rack, and please, for the love of Kenny Rogers, go home.

And please shower.

And please consider some dental work.

Yeee Haaawww!

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Some big news from down south that will be of interest to Bombers fans. Jon Ryan has been cut by the Green Bay Packers. If Jon were to come back to the CFL, he would command top dollar, and he would be worth every cent.

Mind boggling that he was able to average 50 yards per punt during his last year here, he also netted over forty. Jon also has huge upside as a potential placekicker.

At the moment, the Bombers are averaging a net of just over thirty-one yards per punt. This is beyond horrible. The top punters in the league will net average around forty yards per punt. You don't need to be a math whiz to come to a deep understanding of the impact on field position with relation to the punting game when on every exchange you are losing nine yards. Add that on to an average of eight or nine punts a game, and you are talking about a lot of field position.

If Jon returns to the league, he will dominate for the next decade much the same way Noel Prefontaine has for the last 10 years or so.


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