Give 'em the bum's rush

Security guards chase a streaker on the field on Labour Day in Calgary. (Sun Media/Jason Franson)

Security guards chase a streaker on the field on Labour Day in Calgary. (Sun Media/Jason Franson)

TERRY JONES -- Sun Media

, Last Updated: 10:14 AM ET

Don't look, Ethel!

Streaking is back.

Or maybe these naked bootleggers never really went away. But four and a half of them in one game has become a major pain in the, er, ass to the CFL.

Four naked nuts (technically, I guess that would be eight) and one partially naked idiot ran onto the field in Calgary on Monday and set a Labour Day Classic record for streakers.

ENCOURAGED

And now Edmonton Eskimo fans are being encouraged by a sports radio talk show host to break Calgary's streaker record here tomorrow night in the rematch.

Saskatchewan has already had a steady stream of drunken dolts emerging from the stands to run around the field, although only one of them has been naked so far this season.

And now cities are going to start competing with each other for the number of streakers with the over-under line set at 4.5?

As a rule, I don't get my shorts in a knot over streakers. In fact, I've rather delighted in some of them.

Like Nadia Stoochnoff.

She was the woman who ran onto the field buck naked during the national anthem of the 1975 Grey Cup in Calgary. The CBC cameraman didn't know what to do. So he pointed his camera straight up to the sky.

Nadia was from my home- town of Lacombe. I used to play hockey with her brothers.

I loved the frozen-cheeked streaker, a man from B.C. in his mid-50s, in -20 C weather at the Heritage Classic.

And then there was the fool at a Flames game in Calgary, wearing nothing but red socks, who climbed over the glass and fell on his head on the ice and knocked himself out.

As Calgary goalie Jamie McLennan said: "It was comic relief for everyone - kinda like a burglar who locks himself in a house with no way to get out."

There have been many an occasion when I've been at an event - curling and figure skating quickly come to mind - when having a streaker was almost a good thing for the sport. Kinda legitimized them in a way.

Four and a half streakers at a game is one thing. Listening to an Edmonton all sports radio station hyping the audience to beat Calgary's total at the rematch here Friday, is something else again.

Eskimos CEO Rick LeLacheur suggested Jake Daniels, the radio show host in question on the Team 1260, ought to be tarred and feathered - but with his clothes on.

"To me that's totally disrespectful to the community," said LeLacheur.

"We have the occasional streaker, but we've found that they are usually from out of town. Usually they do it because of drinking and a bet.

"They sober up pretty fast when they find out the fine in Edmonton is $2,500 when their bet was only $50."

That's one of the problems elsewhere. The streakers get released with not much more than a spanking to their bare bums.

"We have no built-in deterrent like Edmonton," said Scott Ackles of the Stampeders. "They have to be charged with exposing and indecent exhibition. The numbers I've received from past fines that have been paid have been between $400 and $900.

"Five people were charged after Monday's event. I'd like to see that fine be $5,000. There is no place for it in the CFL or any of the member clubs.

"I'd like to see the people involved charged to the full extent of the law. It infuriates me."

Having a tough fine in place here puts Edmonton ahead of most cities.

There's also the moat. Built for athletes to walk to the start line of the 100 metre race without going down the track, it can trip up fans on the west side of Commonwealth Stadium. There's also secondary fencing around the track.

NEGATIVE IMAGE

"Our feeling is that it becomes a negative to the image of the city," said LeLacheur.

To me the solution is simple. And the fans would love it.

It didn't get much attention because Janet Jackson had just exposed her left breast in the halftime show, but just before the start of the second half at that Super Bowl, a streaker appeared.

New England linebacker Matt Chatham absolutely levelled the guy!

Each home team should be allowed to dress four healthy scratches - one to work each corner of the field - and tackle all the naked people they see.

Of course, the ones in Edmonton would probably miss the tackles.


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