Grey Cup from the couch

BILL LANKHOF, QMI Agency

, Last Updated: 1:40 AM ET

TORONTO - Assignment: Grey Cup Vancouver 2011.

Modus Operandi: Evict dogs from the home couch. Watch TV. Analyze (Oops! Anyone know how to get the chicken wing sauce out of my new birthday sweater?). Comment (like on how often Brian Williams tells the time and how long announcers Glen Suitor and Chris Cuthbert can resist mentioning the word “Swaggerville”).

LOVE IT

Any day they dust off Williams, has got to be a good day. Heart-warming visit to Travis Lulay’s former high school. Small-town hero with high school sweetheart. Schmaltzy, all-American boy stuff. Only thing missing was Eddy telling Mrs. Cleaver he liked her dress.

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Commercials. Evidently, we need to get into our Nissan truck, stop for some fries with sea salt, on the way to the Brick to buy something manly from Samsung so we can belong to something called the Wiser’s society of uncompromising men.

TSN has to pay for the good stuff somehow. But, give me a break. Or, actually, in this case, NOT!

LOVE IT

Humorous piece on the passion of the Grey Cup as Joe Kapp and Angelo Mosca got into a dust-up about a game that happened 48 years ago. Dana White sees this, he’s starting a Geriatric Division. Guaranteed. Bet on Mosca. Nasty counter-puncher. Good left, from the cane side.

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Buck Pierce scrambling on the first series and not hook sliding. Suitor and Cuthbert eulogize his toughness. But maybe its selfish and stupid. He gets hurt, it’s game over.

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Williams puts CFL commish Mark Cohon on the spot, asking if he’s a candidate to head Maple Leaf Sports & Entertainment. Cohon demurred. But, he didn’t say, no. Ver-r-ry interesting.

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Just a tad tired of seeing another aerial shot of Vancouver. I have relatives I don’t see photos of this often.

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Great discussion between Matt Dunigan and Chris Schultz about players agonizing over whether they should take sleeping pills the night before a big game. Dunigan said he never touched them and that “sleep at this point is over-rated,” noting Lulay probably hasn’t slept since Thursday and that if he had, “he slept standing up. He’s wired.”

Schultz said trainers came around and offered the pills and he was always looking into his locker to see, “is my little envelope there. You need your rest ... these subjects aren’t talked about in the macho world of football.”

But they should be. It speaks to the hardships, the stress, the humanity of a game in which spectators too often look at participants as automatons and video game characters.

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Five hours of pregame. Impossible. How else to explain that pregame band and the dancing girls with their sweater puppies? Not sure what that was about, but it was a great timeout to take the dog for a widdle.

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Flashbacks to CFL players, coaches and executives who passed away this year, including assistant Bombers’ head coach Richard Harris. The CFL lost a lot of greats like Tony Proudfoot. It included a quick clip of Hal Patterson running for a TD, Ricky Bell, who died too young, Cookie Gilchrist, Tommy Grant, and others. Harris’ wife says Richard was her “best friend and that “it would be the crowning achievement of his career to get that ring. He didn’t want to retire until he got that ring.” Think I need a Kleenex. Must have something in my eye.

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Wakey, wakey! TSN began its pregame tittle tattle at 1 p.m., which for Dave Randorf and his crew meant looking perky at an ungodly hour — for football. Then, the audio failed as Randorf’s intro came through as a whisper with cameras panning across the stadium. Maybe the audio guy was out on a Timmy’s run.

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Reporter Ryan Rishaug got into the Twitter world with several players and asked Arland Bruce about his morning. Bruce tweeted he “slept like a 200-pound baby” and had “soaked in an Epsom soap bath with honey.”

Not sure how that helps his game but, said Rishaug, “If nothing else he’ll have nice soft skin.”

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Lousy replay coverage on video review on a play that cost the Bombers about 30 yards in the first quarter. A couple dozen cameras and we still couldn’t get a decent close-up. Humbug.

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Have I mentioned how tough this job is? One more beer and I’d have had to tell the editors that the dog, hick!, ate my homework.

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TSN is Home of Hockey. We get it already. But sticking another rerun of Saturday night’s hockey highlights into the Grey Cup countdown is like inviting the Mosca family to a Kapp family reunion. The two don’t mix. For one afternoon give the pucks a rest.

LOVE IT

TSN Football Insider Dave Naylor discussed the improbability of an expansion team going to Ottawa, noting legal hurdles and that the stadium is a pile of rubble. Cohon claims construction begins next spring. It better because it would be difficult to have the Grey Cup (it has been awarded to Ottawa for 2014) in a city without a team. Of course, Toronto has been awarded the 100th Grey Cup next year, and some argue, it doesn’t have a real CFL team either.

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Good morning, Canadian Football League widows from Peggy’s Cove to Rustlers’ Gultch. After six months of exhibitions and regular-season football, a couple weeks of playoffs and Sunday’s Grey Cup party, you can once again get back the cuddliest thing in your life.

No, not him. He’s hopeless. Go Leafs.

I meant your couch. Enjoy.


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