Only the Glieberguy!

TERRY JONES -- Edmonton Sun

, Last Updated: 12:15 PM ET

OTTAWA -- Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust. Show me your boobs.

Only Lonie Glieberman could come up with such a crazy cross-promotion.

First there was the family of Frank Clair, sprinkling his ashes on the turf of Frank Clair stadium, fulfilling his wish from his will. Then they passed out the beads in the southside upper deck to Glieberman's double-barrelled Mardi Gras promotion. Let the breast fest begin.

The sprinkling of the ashes was done privately long before the game began.

Of course, when he wrote the will, Clair didn't know that the Glieberguys were going to return as owners of the Ottawa team.

Maybe he would have had the same opinion as New York Yankees great Yogi Berra who, when asked if he wanted to have his ashes sprinkled around Yankee Stadium replied: "Not under current ownership.''

Clair was coach and/or general manager of the Ottawa Rough Riders for 25 seasons. Many of his former players showed up for a special pre-game memorial with his wife, daughter and grandson. They were all introduced before the game and his old quarterback, Russ Jackson, spoke eloquently of the Ol' Professor to the crowd.

It was followed by a presentation on the video board which his wife watched and became very emotional. It was all quite classy.

Then Glieberman's promotion, which had been huge news here this week, began.

I was assigned to fly to the nations capital to cover them. O.K. Cover might not be the right word. Uncover?

I'M YOUR MAN

Sure, boss. I'm your man. I have a great deal of experience dealing with mammary protuberances. I mean, professionally. At major sports events.

I first experienced the phenomenon at the Indianapolis 500. A veteran writer took me to the track the night before the race. There were "Show Me Your Boobs'' signs everywhere. The success ratio, I discovered, was remarkable.

Then there were the New Orleans Super Bowls. Bourbon Street. Just two springs ago there was the Red Mile in Calgary at the Stanley Cup playoffs. Even if you weren't there to oogle, you could Google. All you had to do was go to the internet and type in www.flamesgirls.com to see them in all their glory.

But this ... I was overqualified for the assignment. I'm coming home with my beads.

BAD VIEW

Oh, there was one young female wearing (and occasionally not) a green top. I saw her flash. But I had a bad view. Same thing with another in (and out) of a white shirt. Didn't see a nipple. And I'm not sure they weren't plants (as opposed to implants).

"This is going to generate more great lines than great sights,'' observed a Montreal columnist colleague. Indeed.

CFL commissioner Tom Wright spent the day before "Sweating Beads'' as the Ottawa Sun front page headline suggested and the sports page headline "CFL boob job ghastly sight'' subheaded "Wright pulls plug on Mardi Gras, then Reneges.''

But by halftime he discovered that this town, while densely populated by Liberals at the moment, is very conservative.

It was much ado about nothing.

"I'd say so,'' said the Commish.

"If you're asking me if I support promotions to bring in a young crowd? Absolutely. If you're asking me if I support promotions which make our games a festival? Absolutely. If your asking me about beads and this promotion, it probably wouldn't make my top 10.''

There were 18,889 fans in the stands, over 5,000 of whom had bought $99 season-tickets in Glieberman's one-day season ticket sale after the Renegades were shelled by the Eskimos.

While Glieberman's promotion didn't convince many to doff their tops - with $1,000 going to the person who collected the most beads - the fans did convince Ottawa coach Joe Paopao to go for a third and two and a touchdown instead of a field goal, which ended up in Ottawa coming back from 23-3 to tie the Montreal Alouettes on the last play of regulation and go on to win 39-36 in overtime.

While Glieberman said he plans to hold his hooter night every game, I suspect it'll fade away. But a terrific tilt (there's an 'i' in there) is a different deal.

Ottawa winning a thrilling football game in overtime against the Alouettes ...

Now that has legs!


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