December 21, 2010
Curling wish list for Christmas
By GEORGE KARRYS, For QMI Agency
'Twas the night before Christmas, and despite the cheer, this writer was hoping for some things quite dear. So as you are flying your sleigh through the night, please think of this list, and our curling plight...
For dear Colleen Jones, the queen of the curl, or rather the hit game (she's that kind of girl). An illness has struck and although she mends well, please let her find out if her teammates can gel? They have found a spare, and replaced our said queen, while all folks do watch this recovery scene. Provincials come soon, in five weeks and a day, so Santa, please let Colleen play?
For he they call Gunner, it's Jason he's named; his last name, Gunnlaugson, is really quite famed. A young Manitoban so fierce with his throws, he went off to Russia, tough choice, he now knows. Betrayal from others he thought were his friends have left him not curling, with heart still to mend. So full of passion for curling this one -- can Santa please help him remember the fun?
Curling shows come and curling shows go, but Grand Slams appear second tier -- why so? The Brier has pomp and pageantry, yes, but the action on ice isn't always the best. Grand Slams offer more teams in the mix, ranked higher and even more skilled with their tricks. With more curling shows now quite scattered all 'round, can Santa help attendance grow, leaps and bounds?
Women of curling, it's quite often said, deserve a new seat at the front of the sled. "Prize money, events, they're rarely on par and men have their arm in that small cookie jar!" The truth, I must offer, they shan't wish to hear -- these ladies are missing something, I fear. Their strategy lacks, or perhaps it's their hits; whatever it is, it is causing me fits. And not just from me, it's from curling fans too -- and sponsors show interest in men, not in you. So Santa, please help curling ladies with "flash" ... and then they just might start earning more cash.
Now curling fans all, the ones left and right, are killing their sport because they're uptight. They grump and they groan about numbers on backs, and players who chew their loud gum with loud smacks. And then they complain when their fees start to climb, despite the low cost that remains, every time. They spend cash on golf, it's really quite strange, so why can't they spend cash on curling, for a change?
And speaking of sponsors, dear jolly Saint Nick, I have got a bone to pick with them, quick. The market has changed, the grass roots now rule, "Return On Investment" is quite the crown jewel. And while there are sponsors who love curling's charm, others just seem to be lost on the farm. Curling has beer, and insurance we thank, but where is the telco, computers, and bank? So Santa, it's true, this wasn't quite "quick" ... but can you help marketers not be so thick?
Last but not least we have news companies, the Radio, TV and Newspaper three. (Yes, there is a quite the large Internet thing, but news majors we trust -- and that's no simple thing). The Sun family, it's far better than most, with curling stuff regularly published, we boast. But there are some others, too many to name, whose thoughts on this national sport are a shame.
So Santa, if you could open eyes just a tad, this country might love more than hockey. How mad.
George Karrys is curlinguru.com