Burke makes right call on Kab

GARY LOEWEN, Toronto Sun

, Last Updated: 9:17 AM ET

Overheard at the Air Canada Centre, Maple Leafs general man-about-town Brian Burke was speaking about coach Ron Wilson’s job security: “It’s as safe as the gold in the treasury at Fort Knox.”

Yeah, the engine on my treasured Ford knocks, too.

Sorry.

But, indeed, how secure is the gold in the treasury at Fort Knox?

a) As secure as the income from the platinums in the treasury at the ACC?

b) As secure as those new naked body scanners at the airport?

c) As secure as the remaining names on the list of 104 ball players who tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs in 2003?

d) As secure as Tomas Kaberle’s no-trade clause?

e) As secure as the Leafs’ hold on a non-playoff position?

Bartering Burke

It’s silly that Brian Burke should even have to deny that there is a chance of the Maple Leafs trading defenceman Tomas Kaberle.

The GM clearly could not deal away arguably his top performer — that would only improve the odds of granting the Boston Bruins a lottery draft pick as part of the Phil Kessel deal.

If Burke were to ask Kaberle to waive his no-trade clause, the jolly white-haired GM himself would be required to waive his sanity clause.

After 60 minutes

Following are the records of selected NHL teams in games that have ended in regulation time, with their OT/SO records in parentheses:

Devils 25-11 (7-1)

Penguins 20-18 (9-1)

Stars 15-16 (4-11)

Lighting 15-17 (3-10)

Leafs 14-23 (1-9)

Islanders 11-19 (9-8)

Canadiens 11-21 (11-4)

If NHL games still ended in ties after three periods, the Leafs, entering Thursday night, would be one point ahead of Montreal, 38 to 37.

See how Gary Bettman’s NHL conspires against Toronto?

The Eastern Conference standings would look like this: Devils 58, Capitals 56, Sabres 56, Penguins 50, Rangers 49, Flyers 45, Bruins 44, Lightning 43, Senators 41, Thrashers 40, Islanders 39, Leafs 38, Panthers 38, Canadiens 37, Hurricanes 31.

Okay, so the Leafs are still out of the playoffs.

Feckless driving

Poor Tiger Woods, they continue to take away his “drive.”

It was reported on Wednesday that General Motors was taking back the Cadillac Escalade Woods had been loaned.

On Thursday, a headline in the London Sun reported that Tiger was in rehab “to cure his sex drive.”

If they take away his golf drive, he’s in real trouble.

The latest Tiger spotting: Cape Town, South Africa where he allegedly is staying at a sex-addiction clinic.

Coincidentally, it was in South Africa that Tiger and Elin got engaged, during a sunset walk on a game reserve in 2003.

So maybe Tiger is back on that continent, having discovering his romantic side, and yearning for happier days. Awwww.

gary.loewen@sunmedia.ca


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