Giving thanks to J.P.

GARY LOEWEN, SUN MEDIA

, Last Updated: 10:07 AM ET

Well, Pilgrims, we have much to be grateful for on this Thanksgiving long weekend,

While we entrust Brian Burke with the task of preparing the creamed corn and smashed potatoes, we give thanks:

a) To J.P. Ricciardi, for ensuring that the Blue Jays’ goose is cooked for this festive celebration.

b) To Bryan Colangelo for acquiring a big-time Turkey native, Hedo Turkoglu, who should help make the Raptors respectable.

c) To Gary Bettman, because you always need a scapegoat to whom you can say: Get stuffed!

d) To the Argonauts for getting out of town, and playing late this evening when it will be easy to find something else to do. A win, however, would be gravy.

e) To Vernon Wells, for turning into a pumpkin at the plate.

Ticket punched

Regarding Braylon Edwards being traded by the Cleveland Browns after he smacked a friend of LeBron James in a fight outside a nightclub, reader Ridley Wetton says:

“The incident raises a new question in losing cities: “Who do you have to punch to get out of here?”

Oakville no joke

What makes Oakville a fine sports town? Rowing, maybe?

Well, we double-checked an item in Offside Thursday regarding the Sporting News’ Best Sports Cities List — Oakville placed 309th, ahead of more prominent locales such as Winnipeg and Hamilton. (Toronto was the top Canadian city at No. 36.)

Bob Hille of the Sporting News says Oakville was ranked higher because it’s the usual home of the Canadian Open.

And PGA Tour events rank higher than sports events such as mosquito-swatting in Manitoba.

Discuss amongst y’all ...

Dear Miss Manners:

What is the proper etiquette when a player (the Penguins’ Kris Letang) gives me a facewash during a fight?

Is it okay to bite him, or should I keep my mouth shut?

Sincerely,

Scott Hartnell, Philadelphia Flyers

Hole new game

Yes, this sounds rude, but the National Tailgating League is holding a “cornhole” tournament next weekend at the NASCAR Banking 500 in North Carolina.

Who knew that tailgating required a “league?”

Not content to just guzzle beer outside their trailers, these NASCAR fans are showing off their moonshine muscle, playing competitive cornhole and raising money for the Kasey Kahne Foundation.

Cornhole is like bean-bag tossing, except these fellers have corn-filled bags and try to throw them into holes on a wooden box.

We play a more refined version in the north country, using metal washers rather than bags filled with farm animal food.

Tip: Don’t risk damaging your rotator cuff by using the same arm for throwing and drinking.

gary.loewen@sunmedia.ca


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