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Good news for Maple Leafs fans:
Their fave team will be practising this season in a new rink called the MasterCard Centre for Hockey Excellence.
“Excellence?”
Most Leafs fans would settle for the Centre for Hockey “Pretty Good.”
But ... actually achieving excellence in the pursuit of a Stanley Cup?
Priceless.
Blood sport
A British doctor allegedly helped a player fake an injury by opening and then stitching a wound inside a player’s mouth, the Times of London reports.
Winger Tom Williams of Harlequins has admitted using a blood capsule to fake an injury during a key stage of a match so he could be replaced by another player.
But after the opponents became suspicious, it’s alleged Dr. Wendy Chapman used a scalpel on Williams to create a real wound.
Williams and his coach have been suspended and Chapman may face an investigation.
Clearly, there’s lots of bad blood in rugby.
Let’s try that again
Golfer Ian Poulter seemed exasperated yesterday as he twittered about consistently losing to his children at video games.
“What is the world coming to when u cant beat ur kids?” Poulter asked.
Surely, Ian meant “beat ur kids” in the nicest possible way.
Tiny Terrell
Receiver Roy Williams wore Terrell Owens’ old No. 81 at practice this week for the Dallas Cowboys.
He should have worn 40.5, since Cowboy Roy is roughly half the receiver Owens is.
St. Louis senior
It’s fitting John Smoltz should agree to a deal with the Cards.
Smoltz, a former ace, is so old now that he shuffles when he walks.
Say what?
“Wouldn’t you be upset if you’re a Packer fan? I think you’re going to have Packer fans burning the No. 4 Favre Green Bay jersey.”
Tarkenton also suggested Favre was selfish, that his on-again, off-again retirement was “an absolute circus,” and that his dealings with the Vikings were “despicable.”
Everybody scores
This isn’t exactly sports, but it does involve scoring and keeping score.
U.K. businessman Roy Charlton gave his wife, Elizabeth, a piece of diamond jewelry as his penalty every time he had an extramarital fling.
Elizabeth ended up with 43 pieces of jewelry, which she passed on to her daughter, Marie.
Marie, who was aware of the history of the diamond collection, has made the biggest score — auctioning off the diamonds for about $500,000.
Talk about the family jewels ...