As usual, lawyers make out like bandits

GARY LOEWEN, SUN MEDIA

, Last Updated: 9:38 AM ET

The prolonged Gary Bettman-Jim Balsillie Brouhaha in the Desert has one clear winning team: The lawyers.

If the legal beagles pooled all their billable hours, certainly they would have enough cash to mount a winning bid for the Phoenix Coyotes.

Leafs lockout

The mere fact the NHL is trying to protect Richard Peddie from having to make a deposition at the Coyotes bankruptcy hearing suggests one thing:

Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment Limitations has been a key player in the anywhere-but-Hamilton relocation saga.

On the other hand, who would like to see Toronto's sports king deposed?

Kiss her goodbye

Soccer player Kristina Kiss, twice a member of Canada's World Cup teams, has announced her retirement.

Kiss says she has sore knees and feels mentally exhausted.

In other words, Kiss isn't going to stick around just to provide lip service.

Shifty curve

Pitcher R.J. Swindle has been with three MLB organizations this season, the latest being the Cleveland Indians, who picked him up off waivers this week.

Wouldn't Swindle be perfect with the Blue Jays?

It's not just the last name, either.

Swindle is a Canadian who goes by his initials -- and J.P. certainly could use a replacement for A.J. and B.J.

Plus, if anybody could put a fast one by you, it would have to be a guy named Swindle.

Unleaded gas?

Seems Sunderland midfielder Grant Leadbitter has a bit of lead foot.

Leadbitter was caught driving 112 miles per hour.

But he had a good excuse. Leadbitter told court that he thought the police cruiser following him was a car full of Newcastle United fans chasing him for a fight.

"My heart was beating fast, I was scared and I wanted to get home as quickly as possible," Leadbitter said.

The judge wasn't buying it and fined Leadbitter 515 pounds.

Leadbitter also was banned from driving for 14 days, So, said the Guardian, should he be chased by any imaginary Newcastle fans this fortnight he will have to make his escape on foot.

Say what?

Headline on sportspickle: "Tiger Woods says incompetent PGA official forgot to fine him."

The South Florida Sun-Sentinel, on Kendall-Jackson Winery unveiling its Rachel Alexandra vintage: "Wine, place or show?"

Dwight Perry, Seattle Times, on England withdrawing its team from the world badminton championships in India, because of terrorist threats: "So much for shuttlecock diplomacy."


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