Good mourning, Blue Jays fans.
From the coulda-shoulda been file comes this weekend's four-game series with the Yankees. It loomed as a pivotal moment of high excitement.
Of course, that was in May when everyone pitched like Roy Halladay and hit like the Babe.
Now the only big thing about it comes when they play the national anthem and the fat lady in the seat next to you opens her mouth.
Let's not kid each other. The closest thing the Blue Jays have to a magic number is 2010.
Horror show
Jim Balsillie and Gary Bettman go to overtime. Finally, a compelling reason to go directly to a shootout.
Someone make them stop. This is becoming a game you hate to see anyone win.
Classified ad
Wanted. Executive Director, National Hockey League Players Association.
Masochist prefered. Live-in care-giver for 690 man-children. Must be able to handle tools.
Salary commenserate with experience in bootlicking. Rewarding career for established yes-man. Suicidal tendencies an asset.
Let's face it. From Alan Eagleson to now, nobody has gone away happy. Talk about your dead-end job.
The NHL Players Association fired Ted Saskin because he monitored players' e-mails. Tried to get too close to them. This week they fired Paul Kelly because he wasn't close enough.
Makes you wonder if they know what they want.
Guess this is what happens when you work for people who wouldn't recognize a good thing unless it comes with a dollar sign, a crooked number and lots of zeroes.
Blond ambition
Cowboys' quarterback Tony Romo, who once dated Jessica Simpson and Carrie Underwood, is "cozy'' with Candice Crawford, a 22-year-old blond former Miss Missouri.
Crawford covers sports for a Dallas TV station and hosts a Cowboys' show.
Meantime, as the NFL season openers approach, Sports Illustrated picks the Pats and Bears in the Super Bowl. Guess they're assuming Romo won't be making nearly as many successful passes on the field as he does off it.
Happens all the time
The Canucks signed Roberto Luongo to a 12-year contract with GM Mike Gillis justifying the length by noting "there's lots of percedent" for goalies playing past age 40 and citing Johnny Bower as an example.
If you say so, Mike. But it would've been a little more convincing if he'd found a few more examples of guys who played in an era when the family pets didn't still include Tiny the Pterodactyl.
Mismatches
Don Cherry at a Ron Wilson Appreciation Night. Gary Bettman and an "I Luv Hamilton" lapel button. PacMan Jones and a clue. Bart Andrus, CFL offensive co-ordinator.
Headhunters
Headline at satire website SportsPickle.com: Bird uninjured after being struck by Jamie Moyer pitch ... Steve Rosenbloom, Chicago Tribune, on Forbes Magazine ranking the Cowboys as the NFL's most valuable team: "How can a football team be worth $1.65 million billon (my bad) when you can't even punt in its building?"
BILL.LANKHOF@SUNMEDIA.CA
