Good morning, Winnipeg.
Ice. Snow. Wind. Flood. Plague. Drought.
Just when you think there can't possibly be another natural disaster on the planet to endure, word is Pacman Jones is coming to town.
Quick, circle the wagons; break out the ammo, someone hide the women. You know the routine ...
Canadian felon league
Sometimes it is difficult to take the Canadian Football League seriously. Like when the Argos signed Ricky Williams, or when Lawrence Phillips found a haven in Montreal. Or when the Argos talk about family values, then sign Andre Rison when he is facing charges of being a deadbeat daddy. Now the Blue Bombers are flirting with Jones, part-time cornerback and one-man crime wave.
What is this, a football league or a halfway house for the American justice system?
Jones has been charged or convicted of everything from beating up women to being involved with guns and drugs. There was evidence the Blue Bombers' on-field performance was already nothing short of criminal this season. But, they didn't have to go out and confirm it.
Meal tickets
The International House of Pancakes, a new NFL sponsor, has added items such as football-shaped French toast and the Quarterback Scramble to its menu. Writes Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times: "What, no Brett Favre Waffles?"
Daddy needs a Lexus
Leafs' Garnet Exelby says the NHLPA will show much greater resolve in the next contract negotiations and that players are being "held hostage" by the owners.
No word on where they're being held hostage but it is believed it could be on a beach in Acapulco, somewhere on the French Riviera or on a sofa at one of the players' vacation home in the Muskokas.
One for the road
Normally, commercial websites are like poison ivy. Avoid at any cost.
So, not that this is an endorsement but Shade- wagon.com is offering its version of football heaven. A tailgating wagon. Wheels through dirt, over asphalt and liquored-up Bills fans. It carries everything from umbrellas, to cooler, chairs and bar-be-cue. Basic price is $550 US.
But there could be one downside in Toronto. Set up that sucker at an Argos game and, by the time you get home, there will be a letter in your mailbox saying you owe the city $60 for a personal vehicle tax.
You could take the wheels off -- except that with built-in chairs and the iPod speakers, it's kind of like a home. Again. Taxable. Only in Toronto, eh?
I think (heavy sigh) I need a drink ...
Hand-holding 101
Former Maple Leaf Tie Domi, from the website www.aftonbladet.se, on ex-teammate Mats Sundin's marriage: "I was Mats' babysitter on the ice for 13 years. Now, it is Josephine's turn to take over."
BILL.LANKOF@SUNMEDIA.CA
