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Good morning, Brian Burke.
The Toronto Nationals won the Major League Lacrosse championship this weekend.
Your turn. And, here's hoping when it comes to five-year plans you can count better than J.P. Ricciardi.
Win-starved
The Nationals play in such anonymity that they may be the only pro team in Toronto that has to call off a victory parade because the team fan can't get off work to see it.
Speaking of parades, it's been so long since Toronto had one that if city officials checked the floats to carry the players that they used last time, the event would have to be called off anyway because they wouldn't be able to find anyone who still remembers how to drive the team of horses needed to pull the carriages.
Dumb & dumber
Plaxico Burress has hired a "prison coach" to prepare him for his two-year prison sentence, the one he got for shooting himself.
Now, football players may not have a reputation for being the smartest people but a prison coach? What's to learn here? How hard can it be to figure out what "Hands Up" and "Spread 'Em" mean?
Pick-up lines
Not sure what to think about Brett Favre and his latest comeback with the Vikings. But, one thing is evident. For an old guy he just may be one of the physical marvels of the world.
Give him this: The guy bounces back quicker and more often than Wilt Chamberlain in a singles bar.
A senior moment
The Ontario Teachers' Pension Plan increased its ownership stake in Maple Leaf Sports & Entertainment to 66% by purchasing CTVglobemedia's 7.7% share in the company that owns the Maple Leafs.
Some people are concerned about the team's direction under the Fund.
But, it makes sense. After all, they've had a team that plays like a bunch of pensioners for years already.
Golden flub award
Colorado rookie outfielder Carlos Gonzalez missed a game this weekend after he caught a falling steak knife and punctured his hand.
Like they say: It was "a great stab". High (ouch!) Five.
The Argos lowdown
The Argonauts play host to the Calgary Stampeders on Friday.
They're coming off a bye week, as opposed to all the other weeks so far this season when just the offence failed to show up. The theme of the evening will be a celebration of amateur sports.
A cynic might suggest that with nine consecutive home losses who would know more about being "amateur" than the Argonauts. Good thing there aren't any cynics around here.